Java Talk: Someone Who Touched Our Lives

A sweet reader by the name of Nancy emailed an idea for Java Talk this week. She suggested that maybe we could discuss people who have positively affected our lives, since Memorial Day is right around the corner. 

That sounded like a great idea to me. 

(By the way, email me ideas for things you'd like to discuss on Java Talk please.) 

So here we go. The person who most affected my life in a positive way was my first mother-in-law. I have to say that while I was married to her son, many years ago, the very opposite was true. We did not much like one another!

But later down the line, when I was married to husband #3 (Lord, how embarrassing to have to keep up with them that way), that all changed. 

I had my worst depressive episode ever. It was so bad that I tried to kill myself. I was found, obviously, and here I am.

I was 43 years old. My then husband had a huge fit over something that Sunday morning, and took off. All I wanted to do was make things right, whatever it was. I kept calling and calling him and he wouldn't answer. 

Well, now I know he was probably with a woman. But that's neither here nor there, really, is it?

It just so happened to be Mother's Day. Yes, I know that I've hurt my children terribly by doing that to them, and no one feels worse than I do about that immutable fact. 

No one knows the guilt I feel over it, and that they probably detached themselves from me that very day. I know it, so I don't need anyone here to remind me. Okay?

After a few hours, I drifted into a dissociative state, where I became quite calm. You know where you are, but you feel removed. Like you are hovering over yourself looking down at the part of you that is so sad.

I've had quite a few of those over the years, but I didn't ever try to hurt myself during any of them. 

I felt I just needed to end it. I can't tell you where that came from. It just seemed logical to me at the time.

When you're in that state of mind, what you're thinking is not rational. You cannot be rational. If you could be, you would realize that "this too shall pass." 

So many people have died because at that moment, they were not in their "right mind", if you will. And sadly, they were not found in time.

Not only is Mother's Day important because I am a mother, but his fit ran off my youngest daughter who had come to see me. Off she went crying back to the city she lived in. And I was upset over that as well. 

I was so angry that he did things like that, and these episodes became more and more frequent. We'd only been married a couple of years, so back then I couldn't see the forest for the trees.

Most of you know that I never had a mother, and thus Mother's Day has always been an emotional day for me for that reason. 

I hated to go out on that day, because all around me in restaurants I'd see mothers and daughters chatting. I would see the love they shared.

And I'd think: Why isn't that me and my mother? Why did my own mother abandon me? Why isn't she here now? Where is she?

I know I've gone on and need to wrap this up. So I'll just say that when others were angry with me for what I did, and didn't want to talk to me, my ex-MIL (her name was Charlyce; she's been dead 10 years this month) was my rock. My absolute rock.

She called me every single day from her home in another city. She is the person who cared enough to see if I was up or down or somewhere in between. 

She kept on with it, day after day that summer of 2000, until there came a day when I was glad to wake up and see the sunshine outside. 

I see what she did for me as the most caring gift someone could possibly give to someone else. If not for her, I might have just given up. 

And that is why I held her as she took her last breath six years down the line. For those six years, I almost felt like I actually had a mother in her, my children's grandmother. 

We became very close till the day she died. I owed her for my own life.

So I've told my sad little story. I didn't really want to go into all that, but it was pertinent to why she is the person who has most touched my life. 

Now it's your turn. Please relate as much or as little as you'd like.

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Mail Woes & Other Juicy Tidbits

I was very surprised by something today. I found out yesterday that my FB account, once again, had been hacked. So I took measures to fix that. 

Today I get an email from Google asking me if I'd signed in with a Mac in the past hour. Well, no, I don't have a Mac, and so I email them back and said no. 

So I kept clicking the links and came to this...

Now it won't let me copy everything, but it let me save this photo. 

Apparently someone in the city of Pontiac, Illinois, someone with a Mac, has hacked my Google account. 

Yeah, they've zoned in on them!

I have changed my password and added another measure of security where they have to send you a code for you to be able to access your account. Yeah, a pain in the arse, but so are the damned hackers.

It also gave me a map with an arrow to the place and said it is sunny and 82 degrees in Pontiac, Illinois today!

Great job, Google!

In other news...

I ordered some photos to be developed by Walgreens. I paid for it to come to my residence. Probably won't do that again.

They are photos I've taken while driving out in the country, and I intend to frame them. So waiting on them is holding up a decor project I am eager to get done to show you.

Said package has been sitting somewhere in town for four days now, and no one knows where.

It might be faster to go this route...

I called and was told that because it's between two companies, (UPS Mail Innovations; what the heck is that) it is difficult to communicate, so they don't know who has it. I hope I got that right, because the fellow did not speak good English.

So I Google "what is UPS Mail Innovations? And get this info...

Please note, after your package is delivered to the USPS that there may be a lapse in tracking information. If the tracking information for your package is unavailable or has not been updated recently, please rest assured that your should still arrive within the time frame listed at checkout. Below are the normal delivery time frames for in-stock items:

Service typeProcessing timeTransit timeDelivery time frameHawaii / Alaksa / International
Standard1-2 business days3-7 business days4-9 business days+7 business days

Did you notice the misspelling of Alaska? Alaksa. Geez Louise.

What to do?

I asked the guy where he was, and he said Guatemala. (Don't you know that they absolutely hate being asked that question?)

For some reason, knowing that US mail has been somewhat out-sourced makes me kind of sad, if that's what has happened.

I'm sure someone will email or comment and let me know if I am inaccurate about this matter...if so, please be nice.

I've always kind of thought of the US postal service as being somehow inviolate from the transferring of work in the US to other countries.

Like it's kind of an un-American thing to do. Ya know? 

So I Google "is US mail being outsourced to other countries?"

And I found this one forum, and this is what the guy said. Remember, these are his epithets, not mine...

USPS has offshore-outsourced Customer Service!?!?

Our tax dollars hard at work in both India and China. WTF?

So here's the deal - I called the USPS to get information on a lost package I had shipped. After 20 minutes of miscommunication, on both ends.. I asked, "Are you working in India?" Response - "Yes."

For shits and giggles, I called 1-800-ASK-USPS a few hours later. Had a brief conversation about the tracking of the same package. The accent prompted me to ask, in a pleasant voice... "What country are you working out of today?" Response - "China."

I'm a little pissed off right now. Not to say that the former USPS workers that answered the phones were worth a handful of shit, but at least they were US Federal Jobs paid for by US Citizens, paying into the tax base of this country.

What's next, outsource the IRS, Social Security, Treasury, Intelligence? 

I checked the latest status of my tracking number, and it says the same thing it said Friday morning of last week...

OK, United States
05/20/2016 8:30 A.M.Package transferred to local post office

Mail man just came. No photos. He told me to call the branch office. Have been calling them and it either rings forever and no one answers, or it's busy. So I know it's not out of order!

I finally got someone to answer the phone. He said call Walgreens. So I call Walgreens.com, and they look it up. The wrong zip code was put on it. And she has no idea where it is. But she will mail them again. 

Keep your fingers crossed. I can't do what I'm doing in the living room without those photos.

If you're still with me after that venting of my frustration, I wanted to give you a link to a post I happened across this morning that I found interesting. 

Food for thought and all that jazz.

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