I think I know now why bears hibernate. It’s to get the strength to face the world for when it is time to re-enter the jungle.
It’s been just over a week since Bonnie went missing. I want to think that she somehow miraculously escaped the yard and is off on an adventure. Some of you suggested I do that. That’s she’s readily finding food and meeting new friends and seeing the country.
Each time I’m on the computer I feel compelled to click the “Feed the Animals” icon.
The other night I was outside with the dogs. I saw a face peer out from behind my red mirror on the fence. At first I thought: what an odd lizard. Then it scurried out and across the fence. And I realized it was a mouse/rat. And then there was a second and a third.
It truly is a jungle out there. Even in a small suburban neighborhood that’s so heavily populated. Where they mow down trees for construction, and then turn around and plant new ones. Where do they expect the wild things to go in the interim?
This may mean I have to take down my birdfeeders. Sadly enough. To keep the vermin from being attracted to my yard. Anyone have any advice on this?
Poor Clyde doesn’t feel like going outside and hunting right now. At times I will find a decapitated rat in my garden. Yes, I know that sounds horrific. But I don’t think Clyde is a serial killer with deviant ways. I think he’s just a cat.
Yesterday I had an appointment at my doctor’s office for the recurring trigeminal neuralgia. I stood in my closet looking at my tops after my shower, and thought: I have to add to this dwindling medley of shirts. So before my appointment I went by the mall. I will occasionally shop at Dillards or Penneys, which means I don’t have to enter the dreaded mall atmosphere.
And so I gathered my “get ready for the many cell phone tones that assail you everywhere you go” mentality, and started shopping. I managed to find four tops that will hold me over for awhile.
As I walked by the cosmetics counters, I was greeted by all the new “anti-aging” products for our skin. I hate skin cream. I live in such a humid climate it would be dripping down my face. So I suppose I will show my wrinkles to the world in all their glory. And just look my age.
Anti-aging. Just the word makes me laugh. None of us can turn back the clock. Oh yes, we can get Botox treatments and hinder the outward appearance a bit. But it isn’t going to turn back time.
And really, would you want it to? Would you like to go through, say, adolescence again? That awkward stage when acne occurs and your body is developing before your brain catches up?
And then there are the women who are shopping for clothing that would look more appropriate on someone much younger. Know what I mean? I’m sorry, but seeing a woman with pants that are barely hanging onto her hips without slipping to the point of no return just don’t look attractive to me. Or at any age for that matter.
I kept running into the same woman in Dillards with dyed blond hair and clothing that was suited for someone much younger. She had a good figure, so she wore it well in that regard. But why would she want to? Why do we cling to another era by the tips of our fingernails, grasping at another time that has already slipped by?
Part of a song kept creeping into my mind for some strange reason. It followed me through shopping, the clinic and the pharmacy. As I went about town taking care of mundane tasks, the lyrics rode along in my head with me.
Don’t talk of love,
But I’ve heard the words before;
It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.
Simon & Garfunkel lyrics
It’s good to see you this morning, Brenda. Like you, I “loathe” mall shopping…you “dun good” preparing yourself the way you did. I like our JCP for the same reasons – don’t have to actually enter the bowels of the mall!
Regarding mice & bird feeders, etc. The one thing I know for certain about mice is that their natural predators are snakes, and for that reason alone will keep the feeders away from the house & the birdseed stored away indoors. I appreciate & respect snakes . . . I really do. But I don’t want them on the porch or up near the house. So, for that reason alone, I’d keep a careful eye on the mice & the feeders. No matter how lovely our gardens are – they are NOT the Garden of Eden, are they? Especially not here in TEXAS!
All of your photos are lovely, as usual, but the one of the lily pad in the water is especially marvelous. . . a real work of art!
And love your S&G lyrics, too!
Great blog!
Oh how I hate the mall! Luckly we have a Penney’s over by Hobby Lobby and Target. Penneys and online is where I by most of my clothes. And speaking of getting older I’m 53 and yes I have gray hair and I happen to love it! I did try dying it once and that is so much work and money!
Love the photos , you have such a good eye for creating them.
4 tops at the store would be a good day for me too, that’s how I shop a quick in and I usually get 4-5-6 things in one trip just to get it over with.I hate hate hate malls too, never meet one I liked.When I am in a big city ,I dont mind the occasional boutique to find the unusual.But a mall…. no thanks.
Brenda … opposite to this on the right side you have a comment by Buddha,you need to read it again.
Take care
Diane
I have been following your blog for a short time..and love it. I am a red fan along with you. Snatched some ideas from you..hope you don’t mind.
So sorry about your kitten missing. It is a heart break..been there myself. Just put it in your mind that someone has adopted her..it may help the pain.
We fed the bird all year round til we got a rat in the attic. OMGoodness was I upset. We trapped it ..I thought it was a squirrel and when I saw it was a rat..that was the end of that. Also the Vet told me that prolonged feeding can disease the birds if mold gets into the feed on the ground..so we only feed in the winter now. I never want another rat experience..I still shudder about it.
Enjoy your garden it is awesome!!
Judi B.
Ontario
Canada
Oh, hell no, I wouldn’t want to go back in time, not even yesterday! I’m satisfied just where I am.
Your photos this time are more beautiful than ever!
I hate the mall. I shop online as much as possible. I like catalog shopping.
I would not want to go back in time. I also read somewhere that if you stop Botox you will look like a Shar pei in a short matter of time!!!
Carol
Hi Brenda~ your photos are so beautiful, you really are a talented photographer! I am not a fan of little critters either, but I guess it’s part of nature- my mom’s cat caught a rat out somewhere and left it on her bed as a present, in the middle of the night…ugh! Glad to hear you had some luck shopping- I need to do that, too, but really don’t like the malls either!
Hi Brenda! I’ve enjoyed strolling through your pretty garden. No, no Nannette! I don’t want to go back in time. I’m like you – I’ll just age the way God wants me to – tiny little wrinkles and all!
Still hoping for you.
Be a sweetie,
Shelia
I don’t mind getting older….and I don’t mind the grey hair…..but I sure wish that extra 40 lbs would go away.
No worries about Bonnie…I’m sure some sweet lady has already found her and has her laying on the couch with treats. (I know I would!)
Your beautiful photos today are like poetry. They truly are amazing! We gave up our bird feeders a few years ago. The squirrels were constantly finding ways to figure out the “anti squirrel’ bird feeders and there were concerns about the birds being carriers of West Nile Virus.
I too loathe the mall and would not go back in time…I am happy where God has put me….. I hope your wild one comes home soon……. At least I hope she is safe….Beautiful photos!!! Hugs,Mica
Brenda, You reminded me of a defining moment in time. Crossing the street, in town, with my at the time 15 year old daughter. Crossing against us a lovely looking 40ish woman stylish blue jeans and a cute top. daughter: “I hate it when old women dress like teenagers”…nuff said.
I had a dream about your Bonnie last night…really! She was in the woods behind a brick or stone building and something was wrong with her eye. Weird…I know, but sometimes when something is on my mind, this happens.
♥, Susan
Love the images, love that song and loved you reminding me of my cat, also named “Clyde”. He was such a lover and has been gone now for about 10 years -still miss him.
I am right there with you on the clothing and aging thing. I became Granny about 13 months ago and I don’t want to look like I’m 20, or 30, or 40, or even 50. I am so enjoying aging, although I could do without the weight gain – totally my fault – and I do wear sunblock, but after years of career I wear nothing but blue jeans, t shirts and flannel. And, I’m lovin it. You are not alone.
No no no no no! Get that Simon & Garfunkel song out of your head and start tapping your foot to Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!
I love your photography.
Such beautiful photography today, Brenda–as always! I love your thoughts, too…it IS a jungle out there!
I’m glad your blogging your thoughts…it helps, doesn’t it?
And the women trying to be young? I feel just like you do…I will always own my age, wrinkles, grey hairs (my kids call them silver–I like that better!) and all…
Hope things get better soon. I feel that you’re a very strong woman, and will be able to do this very well, Brenda…hand in there!
Hi Brenda. I just found out that your beloved kitty is MIA. Try to remember that a week is probably nothing in cat adventure time. I’m sure it’s the not knowing that is driving you crazy. We just had to put down our sweet kitty, but at least I know where she is: planted in our garden for all eternity. I hope Bonnie gets her fill of the great outdoors quickly, and comes home to you.
I love that first picture of flowers. Isn’t it one of the best things in the world, to be able to pick a bouquet from your own garden?!
Brenda,
I stop by every day and see how you are doing…..I feel very connected to you thru these blogs….I adore your photos and hope someday to be as good a photographer as you are….they bring me such peace…..thank you my dear friend….Bonnie is also on my mind….I am trying to will her home….
I went to the mall the other day, hadn’t been in years. I felt like I was walking thru the halls of high school all over again.
So I want to tell you, not to give you false hope, but just as a reminder that sometimes things turn out okay. A friend of mine in the Philippines lost her cat last December and he was gone 7 days and then just reappeared… as if nothing had happened!! Hungry and meowing!
As for the rats, yes, I know what you mean. I don’t feed birds in summer. They seem to find plenty of natural seed in my gardens to eat. Although then I have to just expect whatever birds come my way. And I am scared silly of rats, and their natural predator… snakes.
Well, I am glad you found four tops. I call that a win! (I don’t like drippy makeup either, and go au naturelle most days! a little mascara and lip gloss do the trick for me most days! Celebrate being you!
When I saw your post title I thought of Monk and heard Randy Newman singing the theme song! I miss that show.
I avoid malls with a passion!!! I do a lot of online ordering of my old standby’s…chico’s and fresh produce, sometimes Coldwater or Christopher and Banks. Comfort with style;-)…that’s for me. Haven’t worn pants with a zipper since Hector was a pup.
I don’t mind the wrinkles, but I do moisturize a bit…no botox or any of that stuff for me.
I do moisturize a littke becasue it feels good but I don’t mind the wrinkles. I earned every one of them!
Your home and ourdoor haven are such a joy to see…your words are so sweet.
Sweetie? I hurt so for you about Bonnie. I keep popping into see if she has returned…I keep praying it will be so. I pray you will find peace of heart and mind.
Bless you dearheart…
Love,
Sue
I have been missing you. In my family when something bad happens, the women “take to their beds”. After two or three days (the length depends on the severity), our emotions seem to heal and we can pull ourselves together. I thought that’s what you might be doing. Self-reflection can be good and it can be hard on our souls. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Brenda, I’m glad that today is a new day for you and that you are seeing Bonnie’s absence as an adventure out into the big wide world!
I haven’t set foot in a mall in years! Online shopping is my new best friend!
And how exciting about Romantic Homes! I’ll have to go out and get myself a copy!
Kat
DEAR Brenda! So glad to see that you are getting out and that you are still capturing amazing BEAUTY with your wonderful eye and camera. I just put the finishing touches on my post for tomorrow and had goose bumps when reading yours, for we each touch on the subject of aging. I choose to focus on what is inside, as you will see if you come over Wednesday for a visit. I like the optimistic way that you have turned your thoughts about Bonnie. Perhaps she was on the hunt for some of this vermin she felt were threatening her home? We never have bird feeders anymore because we ended up with mice in two older homes that we had in the past after we started feeding the birds. {Sorry, birdies!} More later….
xx P&H
I pretty much wear the same plain clothes I have worn for over 20 years! I really don’t look good in “stylish” clothes. I have little to no shape and even when I am “lighter” I really still cannot wear them. I have to say I really like Low rise. NOT the super cannot wear underwear with, bu just below the “waist” I am so horribly short waist-ed I really do better with these and they look as if they fit not that they will fall off. The old highwaisted jeans/pants really don’t fit me at all. The waist goes around my ribs. But I didn’t feel old 29 years ago wearing these and don’t feel I am pretending to wear them now. I really look at people in stylish clothes and I am so uncomfortable for them! WHY?? Only a small percent even look good in them. I agree with you about the mall too. Haven’t been in Months. Only go around Christmas or when Pennys sends me a $10 coupon! I can go in and out through their door. Hope your rodents move on!
Hugs, Lisa
….I’m back. Could tell that the internet was having problems and had to re-boot! I wanted to CONGRATULATE you on your recognition in Romantic Homes Magazine! We only have one place nearby that sells it and I’m going to go there asap and pick it up!!! The beauty that you’ve given others has now come back to you. No more S&G songs, no need to hide, the world has found you and they LOVE what they see! xx P&H
I am glad to see that you have been storing up and renewing your energy a little. Even bears must come out in the spring. I have been thinking about Bonnie–no one has called about and you haven’t seen a cat that has been run over…that’s a good sign. We had a lab return after a year. She looked at us as if we were the crazy ones. I always did wish that dog could talk
Congratulations for braving even the end stores of the mall. I could not begin to tell you the last time I went to a mall…hate ‘em. Four new tops will perk you up…hope they are red!
always one of my favorite songs.
thinking of you
I avoid malls too and I get frustrated by this anti-aging society we live in where there is no such thing as growing old gracefully.
I am sorry you baby hasn’t made her way back.
I am working on Sr pics from a photo shoot I did over the weekend and thinking about the stuff I just read, looking at this girl and her boyfriend who both have bad acne.
Thinking about how I’ve known her since she was three and how the brutal divorce her parents went through drove us to seek a new church because of how the church involved itself in the situation.
I gave great parents, loving parents. My teenage rebellion had nothing to do with them.
That said, I’ve always had a never look back approach to life. I’ve never wanted to go back to anything with perhaps the exception of the time when I was first dating my husband.
I’ve never wanted to be little again, I’ve never wanted to be a teenager again.
One of my favorite author’s is Madeleine L’Engle she said she doesn’t believe people who don’t want to be children again.
I guess she wouldn’t believe me but it is true.
Oh all the comments make me feel better. I don’t do malls. I hate buying clothes. For one thing the cost and the other it’s so hard finding something that looks good. My wardrobe shows it.
I keep praying that Bonnie returns.
So glad that you are doing a wee bit better.
I hardly wear makeup…..I am writing a post about that soon, hah,
Have a blessed day, my dear. Love the photos.
Oh, Brenda…if that the skies would lift…
I keep hoping Bonnie will come home but it seems that this is almost a metaphor, you are barely taking care of yourself. Personally I need an excuse to get out of the house so I go shopping. New clothes always cheer me up. Not being able to find something that looks good in my closet or feels good gets me down. Wrinkles….ha! I am finished measuring my self worth by my looks.
This is a good post because it made us think. About a lot of things. We want to see you happy again. You are going to mourn Bonnie no matter what because that is natural and ironically, normal. But you can’t base all of your happiness on Bonnie, nor the birds that may be posing a danger by attracting something worse.
I am terrible with advice, but I am a good listener. Drop me a line.
xoxo
Janie
I really enjoy your blog…even though you are going through a rough spell…hang on your not alone.
I hate malls too! Thank god where i live there are beautiful downtowns!
Your photos are gorgerous.
Have a blessed day
Pamela xo
How timely. Today I was in an antique store and I stopped near the window to call my sister. I stared in horrified fascination at my sagging neck and jaw line. Would I trade that? YES. I wouldn’t mind going back 10 years – that’s all. Just to stop that part of the aging process.
I actually don’t like that I’m getting older. I would like to pause at around my mid-forties. Of course I dont’ want to go back to my youth – but I don’t like seeing my aging face, or feeling my aching lower back. Not fun. Not at all.
I won’t do botox. Can’t afford it anyway. I’ve let my hair go gray naturally. But the neck? Begone1
xo
Claudia
hi brenda! absolutely gorgeous photos! thanks for your sweet comments, am really blessed to be surrounded by blogger friends like you! have a great week! verbena cottage
Oh, great now that song will be in my head for awhile. Great photos. I always enjoy your beautiful flower shots.
Hi Brenda, you made my day!! I really so needed to laugh. Everything you say is right on it!!All my wrinkles are here to stay, and i really don’t give a hoot…Kathy
It’s sure a challenge to have everything nice and the way you want it. When we had our feeders up in NC, we had to take them down EVERY night and put them in the garage…because of bears! Other critters loved them, too but bears tear everything up. I hope things settle down in your jungle! (we saw a snake today…but my hubby said it was a good one! EEEE! )
Hi Brenda, Your garden is looking great, as it always does.
I had to quit feeding the birds because of the rats and mice too. We live next to a large wooded area. Sometimes it seems we live in the country, which I do like.
Oh, the mall thing…I’m so with you on that one! Sometimes we just have to though.
You seem to be getting back to yourself again…I am so glad. Hang in there!
Still hoping for rain ~sigh~
Tracy
Wonderful post Brenda! And as always, your photos are gorgeous!
Have you written a book? Your journaling is excellent, and you ‘speak to us’. I so enjoy reading here.
Thanks too, for stopping by REB. It’s so nice to have people that understand and sort of lean on.
I’m so sorry about your little Bonnie. I know how you feel.
Blessings,
Linda
Hello Brenda,
Congratulations on being featured in Romantic Homes magazine! It is a well deserved recognition.
Fabulous post and gorgeous photos. Oh yes, it is certainly a jungle out there! I truly despise going to the mall and will avoid it if at all possible. I might end up going 1 – 2 times per year and I have to really work myself up to going. I prefer going to little boutiques or ordering online. As for aging, what is that old catch phrase… Been there, done that. I would not want to go back. I like where I am in my life. Lines, wrinkles, whatever, I will age the way God intended for me to age. I am with you on the women not dressing their age. There are ways to dress attractively and even sexily without dressing as if you were 20 – 30 years younger. I have a friend who started dressing like that after her divorce last year. I want to say something but do not know how to do so without hurting her feelings. I am hoping this stage will pass.
It has taken me a while to catch up on some of your older posts but I think I have finally managed. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. Your life has certainly taken some sharp twists, but you seem to persevere. Because of events throughout my life, my motto is simply “One Day at a Time.” Your Buddha quote pretty much sums it up. That is my motto and it has served me well.
Warmest regards,
~ Tracy
Oh, dear….I am PETRIFIED of anything rodent (rat, mouse, whatever)! I’m aging also and though I don’t like it I try to remember what my husband always says: it’s better than the alternative! Your photos are absolutely breathtaking! Love your blog!
Love Simon and Garfunkel. They were the voice of my generation in many ways. Living here in Utah with our dry dry air we do need a little something so that our skin doesn’t crack like the desert floor. But really I’ve earned every single one of my wrinkles. I try to stay out of the mall as much as I can. Not a fun place for me either. Mimi
Brenda, as much as I enjoy shopping for shiny objects (and I do), clothes shopping makes me crazy, and malls drive me batty!
I am letting my hair go grey because it will be either salt and pepper or silver. And while I think it’s fine to have bo-tox or something that makes you feel better about yourself, I haven’t done that. Doesn’t mean I might not at some point. I don’t like seeing the two deep lines between my eyes where I squint. If I could erase them, they would be gone. But I do think there’s something about aging gracefully that has been lost in this lust for youth culture.
I hope and pray that Bonnie is enjoying herself and that she is off on a very jolly trip and will be home soon.
XO,
Sheila
Brenda,
It has been a while since I stopped by your blog…and I’m so sorry to hear that Bonnie is missing. I hope that she comes home soon.
~Cindy~
Gorgeous pictures today Bren!! Thanks so much for your sweet comments on my blog today, so appreciated! Prayers for you still too, Deb
I am 46 and refuse to dye my hair or wear make-up any longer. I make my own clothes because I can’t find anything “appropriate” for my age or taste. I’ve quit using credit cards and am cooking nearly all our meals once more. Some of this is due to our current financial state but more of it has to do with I am flat sick of being SOLD all the time. Marketing has convinced women and now men that they are inadequate if they don’t use this product or that product. It’s totally out of hand. I remember my Grandma’s generation holding the aging process for what it was – Age and WISDOM! I’m returning to that and have decided to be WISE and not buy into the lies we are all being sold everyday.
As usual stunning post full of wonderful pictures today. Love all the close ups, but than you know that. Send some of that humidity up north. I have quite a few Ball jars to fill.
Hugs,
Kate
oh, dear! You made me laugh!!!! and I’m happy because if you are ready to make us laugh, it means that probably you’re feeling better!
Hugs!
Mara
Oh, Brenda, how well I know those depressed Simon and Garfunkle feelings. I have battled depression most of my life. Just now I am weaning myself off meds for the first time in ten years. They were essential when I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning but, over time, they’ve begun to dull my senses. I always prefer to be drug-free if possible.
As for aging, I am 52 and waver back and forth between appreciating the way God wants me to look and being shocked by the image I see in the mirror!
As for malls, I hate shopping, period! I prefer to shop online, but that can be a hassle too. Nothing’s perfect.
Where I live (Chicago’s North Shore suburbs), we have an abundance of women trying to look like their teenage daughters. RIDICULOUS! They are fools, plain and simple.
Brenda, I check in every day, anxious to see if Bonnie has come home. My heart aches for her and for you.
Re your mental health, you have two extremely positive things going for you: your house/garden (both of which are fantastic) and your photography (which should be PUBLISHED). I don’t just mean that these are good ways to keep busy. I mean you have real talent, my friend. Best of all, you share it with the world and I, for one, am very grateful. Ever since you were featured on Houzz, I have been following your blog and I can’t tell you how much I look forward to each post. I check in with other blogs, but yours is the only one I follow religiously.
BTW, congratulations on your feature in Romantic Homes!!! See? You deserve recognition!
I wish you good health, good luck and many blessings as I give you a long bear hug across the miles!
Beautiful photos today Brenda. I love how lush and bright your garden is!