This morning as I sit stuffing pillows I sewed yesterday, my mind roams to various topics. I started thinking about what blogging was like just a few years ago. And how it has changed.
When I started blogging, there were a few blog parties. But the proliferation of them grew rapidly. Now everyone loves a party, right? But a vast amount of them slotted every day of the week kind of boggles my mind.
Now I sometimes go to a blog I love to check in with, and it is just a series of weekly parties. And no blog posts in between. I know life gets busy. But I for one don't go to see you for your parties. I go to visit you as a blogger/person. I will just go ahead and say it: I miss you.
Somehow, I can't help but feel that we as individual bloggers have somehow lost our own unique "voices", as we keep our thoughts to ourselves more and more. And instead just sign up for the day's many parties.
I don't know about you. But I am feeling overwhelmed when I go to a blog post to read it, and it is linked to literally dozens of parties. And there's nothing wrong with that practice.
But what about our authenticity? What about our blogs being a place where we go day to day to keep a journal of sorts? And share our thoughts, and join hands to help one another across the blogosphere.
I get emails nearly every day from bloggers, asking me whether they should tell the truth of their lives in their blog, or just post pretty pictures with happy thoughts? Because they are afraid their friends will abandon them in their time of need. And this truly makes me sad.
Our blogs are our other homes, in a way. Our "safe" refuge. And to feel that we must always hide behind smiles, or no one will like us anymore, just breaks my heart.
Life is made up of so many things. Parties are one of them. But life most assuredly is not always a party, if you get my drift. And if you disagree, that is fine. Our differences are what makes the world go round. It brings about discussion. And that is good.
No one says you must share your joy and your pain. But the sheer amount of emails I get on this topic tells me that we have shoved "truth" into a closet and shut the door.
Our voices, our very own voices, are so unique and special. There is no other exactly like the one you have.
Please bring them back. I so miss hearing those authentic voices.
I welcome your thoughts...
112 comments:
My favorite blogs are those with unique 'voices' like yours. I too am trying harder to be 'real' and me on my blog. I have found myself changing over the last few years and so is my blog I hope...since it is my voice. I love a fun party but don't do as many as there are out there...just overwhelming. hugs, Linda
I agree ... totally. The blog parties remind me a bit of the Tupperware parties, the Pampered Chef parties, etc.. fun at first, but after awhile... not so much.
Brenda ~ Today I made the first step of many, to be a "real" blogger. I was hiding my pain behind my blog and not sharing with my friends, and, bloggers are TRULY and HONESTLY friends. We all love pretty pictures and I can say I so enjoy yours. The happy colours in your home make me smile. But, thanks to you, I am taking a serious look at my blog and what it is all about. Don't get me wrong, it will not be a "doom and gloom ~ feel sorry for me blog", but it will be a little more real. There is a time to sew and a time to reap. My blog will reflect my life ~ good, bad, happy or sad. Thank you my friend for standing by me and giving me the strength to take that first step.
(((Hugs)))
I agree,
I visit the parties some, but the blogs I love are you ladies who share your lives with me. I love looking at the pictures of the kids, the dogs and just life in general.
Suzan
Ladybug cottage
I am "with" you, too. I never HAVE gone the linky, party route.
Like you said, everyone it entitled to their own style and opinion. I think the key is not being swayed by others and knowing why you blog personally....
No one forces me to go to the party/linky places. There are plenty of others to enjoy.
If I post what I know to be truth here- I'll get stoned.. so I'll just say- YES way too many parties and I feel like I am only as valuable as my last creation that got 100 clicks/views or more. thats all I'm gonna say..
I agree with you Brenda. I've not joined in any of the blog parties. The only one that I can say I've truly enjoyed is the one that features well known and not so well known, cookbook authors/cooks. Since my blog is mostly about being in the kitchen, I've enjoyed getting to know many of these cooks. Even though I focus on food, I enjoy many types of blogs. I live vicariously through decorating blogs, blogs of people who are truly artistic, etc. I most enjoy the blogs of people that I feel connected to--"friends through the internet".
Best,
Bonnie
What parties? and why haven't I been invited?!!
jennyxx
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I enjoy a few of the parties. Some of the parties are so big that you could never visit the participants or be noticed. We all seem to develope a few core friends with whom we visit regardless of the parties. I like to help people starting new parties. I like some parties, just not the huge ones.
Blessings, Ginger
I agree wholeheartedly.
I stopped blogging due to privacy issues but I love to visit the REAL boggers! The ones who still write their own blogs. The linky parties are way out of control and sometimes they slow down the loading of a blog (at least for me) so I just exit right out. And move on. I read about 10 blogs pretty regularly. Yours Claudia's and Nita's are in the top. I can relate to each of you in so many ways. Thanks for keeping it real!
May your week be Merry.
Hi Brenda..I just signed up with you and I so agree with you..once in a while if I have spare time I might look through one of those parties..but they have become way over done..so I just don't bother reading the blog on that day..I do not have a blog but I do enjoy reading them and would never expect you ladies to come up with some new and exciting project for me everyday..I do enjoy reading about other peoples lives and getting to know them a bit..we all know that life isn't easy and that talking to others about things helps us to get through the bad times and to enjoy the good ones..so I am glad that I found you and will be trying to catch up on the things I missed and get to know you a little better..you already sound like a very good lady to me..Take care..Your new follower, Nancy
I do think so many parties out there, has gotten a bit out of hand. But, we don't have to go to the parties.
Some I like...some not so much.
I do like to get to know the actual blogger, though. So, it's good when they tell us a bit about themselves and their lives.
I am so glad you posted this. It is something I have only thought about doing for awhile, but you had the balls to do it. I have taken many blogs off my reader b/c it was no longer about them as individuals, but who they were connected to as well. I have each blog picked for the content of THEIR blog,not to see how many "friends" they have.
I agree, but I really must say that I keep my Dutch blog so authentic as possible,...
It is in Dutch because that's my language. So my blog is just the way I am.
Everybody is unique, so every blog could be authentic.
Groetjes from The Netherlands!
Hear you loud and clear, Brenda. I don't visit party blogs much. Sometimes, there'll be some of the partiers that I go see what their blog is about just cuz I don't know them, but for the most part, I just avoid them. I love people - real people and love getting to know them on a personal level.
Now, there's my two cents. I hope things are going okay with you, and that all the little molehills that make up the big mountain ahead can be flattened out in front of you. Good post!
Here I am again. When I meet my readers in real life they are verry happy to see me because they know me verry well from all the stories and pictures AND quilts of my blog.
And that is a verry rich feeling.
Brenda, one of the most important lessons to learn about writing is to be authentic. A writer must write with her own voice. You cannot try to be someone else. I found this difficult to teach elementary students, so I read aloud lots of great books by authors who have found their authentic voice.
I also love link parties, and I link most of my posts to a few parties. In fact I've been thinking about starting my own. I think it's all about finding balance, but staying interesting and relevant to your readers. Most of all, enjoy yourself!
Very thought provoking post. I go through phases where I go to parties and phases where I don't. I join parties in order to get a larger audience and try to get out there to people who may not find me on their own. But I don't do a post with joining a party in mind. Well, I guess I do save my thrift store finds for a day when there are some thrift store parties to go to, but in general I blog about what I want to and if it fits a party, then so be it.
I agree that so many bloggers are missing the whole point of blogging though. It's refreshing to see someone actually say something rather than just show highly staged to perfection photos all the time. I get bored with the "pretty" blogs fairly quickly.
As always spoken like a pro. I have dabbled here and there over time, but came back to keeping it small and simple and close to my heart. Thanks for the reminder.
I so agree Brenda. My blog has always been "real". Sometimes I think that's why I don't have tons of followers, but I don't care. I have made many friends that I really care about - you included. If people don't like "real" blogs they don't have to read, right. It is all about personal choice. I know what I like to read. Here is to keeping it REAL.
I understand your thoughts so clearly. I miss the days of the simple blogs without all of the pomp and circumstance, too. I've thought many times about hosting a party, but I thought differently because I just don't have the time between work and home. Being my own boss isn't as easy as it seems.
xxoo
Becky
PS: we can have a party when I ever get the chance to come back east!! **smile**
I agree. I do not have a blog, so I can not be too critical. However, the parties often just look like hours of work and I want to read blogs like yours. I also do not care for the ones with constant giveaways, and no personal talk or anything of interest. It is mostly an advertisement with a chance to win..and maybe 300 or 400 try to win, ......etc.
Brenda, you were one of the first blogs I found and followed when I started 11 months ago. I found you to be informative, helpful, extremely talented and kind. I also enjoy linky parties, and don't feel pressured to join each week. When I can, when my post applies, etc. It is a fun way to find new blogs and hopefully gain some new followers. I could post daily if I just wrote my thoughts, what I do feel pressured is to always have photos, or a specific project, and quite frankly, most days I don't have the energy or my hands/wrists are hurting, etc. What boggles me is how many ladies can decorate and redecorate in a week. Or cook fabulous dinners and desserts almost daily. I keep up with housework and am drained. Make egg whites and I'm done. Yikes! xo
Sorry for rambling here, but in my experience, most bloggers don't really seem to be interested in other bloggers' voices, or soul baring. They want to see the redo's, redecorating, latest purchase, what's for dinner. And that is fine. I enjoy it as well. So point I am trying to make is: Be ourselves, write from the heart, share what we feel we want to share, see how we feel after the soul baring, and keep on blogging. Breaks help, too. xo
Hi Brenda!
Yes SO many parties and SO little time... Some people join DOZENS of parties and there are 100"s of participants at these parties.
How does one expect to visit them all?
Originally I started my Bunny Hop for the new blogger so it would be small and they would have a chance to really connect with each other. I asked time and time again to please visit the other blogs and comment when possible. I got so annoying that I lost a few (about half) they are of the "blogging without obligation" crowd. I just feel like they are missing out...
I no longer harp on that issue and I have opened up the party to ALL bloggers so that my "old friends" can join.
In my humble opinion I think lots of bloggers link to parties just to be seen... never reciprocating. I LIKE to visit parties... it is a great way to expand my horizons in blogland.
Now what REALLY bothers me... I that I noticed (from my Feedjit stats) that many people just visit the link page and not the HOME page... then they don't usually click onto other posts. Now that's okay if they visit everyday. I always try to click on the home page link so that I can see, at one fell swoop, if I have missed anything on their last few posts.
One last thing... I have been having my own issues and so posting with less frequency. The Bunny Hop post may at times be my only weekly post. I am just trying to stay afloat in this blogging world :/
xoxo Bunny Jean
ps. I love that you share your real world. I wish that I had had the courage to ask to meet you in person when I lived in DFW and you lived in Tyler... I could have used a "real life" friend.
OH... and one more thing. I get most of my visitors from you! Maybe they just want to know who that crazy woman is that rambles on and on in you comments :0)
Brenda, this post is timely for me as I've been struggling with whether I share some things that are going or not. It would help me to write about them and possibly help others too. Thanks for the encouragement. I love reading your blog.
Jackie
Well said, Brenda...I have a private blog, but I know if I went public I would feel overwhelmed by jumping in on every party out there. So instead, I enjoy being able to pick and choose which blogs I read that are written with "heart". That's not to say that everyone with a blog who participates in a party does not write with heart...I just enjoy the quieter blogs where I feel as a reader I'm getting to know the person behind them.
Brenda...I have been around the old blogosphere for a few years now. No novice and believe what I do is authentic.
I join parties...I do not join many...just a few, and those, for the most part, are parties I have "followed" for years. These party hosts have stood by me and Back Porch Musings, through thick and thin. And I feel a certain loyalty toward them. I enjoy seeing what everyone is up to, also.
When J was hospitalized in two different hospitals, recently and a fairly serious hospitalization it was, I found the ones who gave us the most support during that time,were the ones I have met through the parties.
Their messages meant so much to us, whether through the blog, facebook or emails. I kept updates going, as each day seemed to bring something new to the situation. And now that J is home with his brand new shiny pacemaker and extra stents, we are moving into recovery mode. I am happily back publishing the usual fluffy posts.
The Back Porch is my little hobby. It documents our life together in our golden years. Just a reminder, we went through some extremely tough times. Our childhood and adulthood were not a beds of roses. Then we found each other.
As for baring my soul. I had the rug ripped out from under me over thirty years ago. I picked myself up by the boot straps and put one foot in front of the other. It was a very difficult time for my family and me. I got beyond that time and moved forward. Didn't have a blog, didn't know what a blog was. Besides, the internet was just a glimmer in someone's eye.
Being a rather private person, I am not sure I would have written about that dark time in my history. J's history is just about as forlorn as mine. I choose not to write about that time. What you see at the old Back Porch is our authenticity.
I totally agree. There are a couple of blogs set up specifically for weekly linking, say for crochet projects, and I like to see what everyone is up to. Otherwise, I visit blogs that are the real deal, down to earth folks who just talk about life and what they are up to. Even in my daily encounters, I prefer simple, personal interactions rather than a big, loud, crowded gathering. Have a great week. And good luck with the shop! And happy belated birthday! Mine is in 6 days. :) Best wishes, Tammy
Very well put. I'm sorry I don't comment enough or visit enough but I do enjoy your blog and your thoughts.
I agree with the over saturation of parties. I only do one or two now and then and find myself staying away from bloggers that do 10 links for one post. If you notice those people get very few comments. I thinks it's meant to have non bloggers find them. I don't know?
hugs
Carole
Good post, Bremda; sooo true!
HI, come on over for a visit to my boring blog. I don't have time for parties, but do visit those that have interesting ideas to me. Most of the time, they are not the popular "topics" of the day, though. My blog just helps me keep up with technology in a fun way.♥♫
I totally agree with you, Ive lost interest in quite a lot of blogs I used to read I prefer to read about someones genuine life, good or bad xx
I prefer blogs that teach, share their life, talk about their hopes and dreams, and express their sadness.
When I am privy to this, then I don't feel so alone in this big world and I know someone else is experiencing what I am.
I absolutely agree! Keep it real and keep it you! That's why I finally decided to start my own blog... things just weren't resonating in an authentic way with some of the blogs I was reading... so many people started going in a sleek, professional, sanitized, money-making direction. I find myself drawn to the blogs that are more personal, more real.
I enjoy a couple parties a week as a way to meet new people that have the same decorating interests that I do. I do like to post about my kids and stuff and have thought before that I am boring my followers. But usually I am surprised to see I get a of response from my core followers on those posts. I am glad to read these comments from people who enjoy the personal stuff..because I decided a while ago this blog is going to be for me and my family to look back on my life and not for any other reason. I have so enjoyed the friendships I have made through blogging though. The simple pat on the back I get about projects I am proud of that sometimes my family isn't so good about saying "good job". Also, when I follow someone--I really follow them! I read all their posts, comment often, and enjoy learning about them. So when people follow me and say "please follow me back" that is not okay with me.
Your post was great--thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject.
Well, you know I agree with you on this one. I just posted 2 days ago about a blogger who linked to 46 parties in one post. First of all, how can she ever visit everyone and isn't that what a party is supposed to be about? Secondly. Come on. A post every once in a while that links to 40 parties is really not a blog, in my book.
We should be able to share the good and the bad in our lives with our readers. I certainly do. And I've found that my readers help me and support me with encouraging words during those times. I'm not afraid to let it all hang out, if you know what I mean. If someone is going to stop reading my blog because it isn't always pretty pictures, then I never wanted them there in the first place.
Amen.
xo
Claudia
Hi Brenda,
Thanks for bringing this topic up. I started my blog as a way of healing after the loss of my sister...writing was cathartic...it took the place of talking with her every afternoon. Then, last fall, I was starting to feel as if my blog just wasn't "good enough"...working full time, I simply couldn't be a domestic goddess everyday. So I took a blog break and thought things over. And came to the same conclusion you did. Our blogs shouldn't become a competition, nor a way of collecting friends/followers, like Facebook. So I continue to write for me...and Nancy. That said, the friends I have made through my blog mean the world to me...I've met some amazing women, like you, who inspire me every day. Thanks for always telling it the way it is,
Cheryl
Brenda, When I first heard of blogging..I would check some sites.Then I wanted my own. I like when people tell their ups and downs...letting us know we are not alone. I liked seeing the cute crafts people could come up with, showing their talents.It was like a sisterhood of sorts. Then I saw that men too blog, even have woes as we women do.Yes, I prefer the honesty of blogs....not just fluff. There is a site I check 1st thing every morning, cause this lady makes me laugh. That is so good for our souls.Smiles,xo, Susie(She Junks)
Brenda, your blog brings more readers to see what I am up to than any other blog, and it is all free choice. I have a blog list at the top of my blog with my favourites and they know I read them every day and most often have too much to say when I comment on their post of the day or ask how they are doing today or just send some love and sometimes prayers their way too.
You might have guessed that I read all the comments to each of your posts and I often click on the writer's post and go and read that too and then quite often add them to my reading list.
The other side is I like joining in linkups with some really nice bloggers (Junker Newbee and Apron Thrift Girl, and Between Naps on the Porch, just a few of very authentic bloggers out there. I read them every day too because they have something to say that I can relate to. I also join other groups and I know I do it to get more followers, but I also find some pretty nice people when I check the linked up posts.
After writing all this I will admit I spend too much time reading posts, writing posts, writing comments and thinking about what I am going to post next. From this has come a renewed love of photography, awakened my desire to make my house reflect what I love, started me crafting again after about 30 years of not crafting, jump started those artistic times that I loved (again 30 years ago). For me blogging has filled some of my need for talk to other ladies, to share common experiences, to reach out with love to others. I love sharing 'how to' with actual "I can talk to you in person" friends to help them get started on what seems like a really big learning curve in the world of blogging.
So, I am as authentic as I dare to share online, I love the huge new hobby of blogging and its added pleasures of photography and making new friends and visiting old new friends every day. I don't think I would ever host any type of party and I am pretty selective on who I join up with but I have enjoyed reading fresh to me posts and have gotten some good ideas from a great many different people.
With love.
Joy
You know I agree with you on this one. I think if your blog is authentic your regular readers know when something is off or wrong in your life. I have thought I veiled my hard times and have regular readers call me on it every time! I don't often join parties any more but don't have a problem with those that do. I read blogs that have something to say...whether it be thought provoking or just to make me smile. Of course, if they combine their thoughts with pretty pictures I will definitely be back often. Even in my magazine reading days, I wanted to know about the person behind the pretty rooms. Great post. Patty
Brenda,
Parties can be fun....but they can also be overwhelming. They can be a good way to meet other bloggers, but then, they can just bring a feeling of obligation.
I've kind of gotten away from them.....and am waiting to be re-inspired by springtime to return to blogging.
Ditto what Claudia said! I'm also tired of blogs that are about nothing but shopping.
I agree with you wholeheartedly! A blog needs to remain what it was originally intended for; a way to share yourself and your ideas with others. I blog for me, about what I enjoy and hope others will find and like that. That's also what I look for in other blogs, inspiration, food for thought, etc.
Hello sweet Brenda ~ I am totally with you on this post. I am not a fan of blog parties at all. In fact, I have stopped reading the blogs where there are too many "parties"...or another one I don't like: constant giveaways where you have to do so many steps in order to "win"...become a follower, tweet about it, FB about it, put a link on your own blog, etc. Who has time for that?! Maybe some people do, but I certainly don't.
As a blog reader, I prefer blogs that are not only offer great decorating ideas, but are also "real". I like to get to know the person behind the writing and pretty pictures. I like how you offer your readers both.
God bless you!
Melanie
Brenda, I think at this time in our country people need to be able to connect with other people that are definitely having real life experiences: having to sell the house due to job losses, sicknesses in our families, whether it be spouses or children, divorces, scoundrels that have really showed their true being, loss of a loved one, it's all real and for some people this might be their only way to get some validation. I don't attend the parties, but I so enjoy reading blogs that are inspiring and you certainly are for so many women out there in today's world. I think bloggers like you and Claudia and Nita who share their life give others such inspiration when life might be beating them up. Annette T
I feel that being anything less than honest on my blog is misleading to those that take the time to read.
No ones life is happy lovely joyful 24/7, and if it is, SHARE YOUR SECRET!
Great post, Brenda. The way I see it, if we don't write honestly, why write? I hope I never lose my urge to blog about the things that weigh on my mind, or just the things that make me happy.
I'm not a regular party-goer, and like you, I am a bit shocked when I visit blogs who are linked up to more parties than I can count. You say there's nothing wrong with that practice. Perhaps, but I heard another blogger say once that those who practice such things are clearly not interested in relationships, but only in making sure their business card is handed out, so to speak. She compared it to accepting invitations to a dozen parties in one evening, then just hopping in, leaving your card and rushing off to the next party. I tend to agree.
And I also agree with you about those who used to blog, but now just party on their blogs. I no longer visit them.
Such a good post! I put myself out there on my blog today! I finally did something I've talked about and wanted to do for a long time! I still feel a bit scared! But the ball is rolling now...no stopping it! ♥♥♥
There are times when just being alone can be restful. But I do tend to overdo that when I'm pulled down into a dark place that's hard for me to escape. I am involved with a Bible study and a prayer group that helps me, thank God!
I'm not sure I understand about the parties aspect of which you speak. Could you enlighten me? I do love your new home. Indeed it draws me into it.
I too loved the blog parties, but agree there are so many of them. I am fixing our home up and love to show what we have done. At first I was joining the parties, but now I just don't want to. Partly because it is too much work putting all the address's in the post. I am not saying I will not join in. I do love the tea party ones. When I go to a blog I am interested in many things. I am also tired of seeing people copy things from pincrest and such. I go to their blogs to see what they are up to,not what someone else has posted.
Well this certainly is speaking to me. I have become caught up in the party joining trap and it has been both a blessing and a curse. I have met more bloggers and have promoted my own blog through party going and that has been a good thing. But I will agree, that by attending countless parties one loses her voice. It has kept me from being authentic by forcing me to conform to a "theme" for each party. After a while it becomes exhausting to keep up with the pressure of conforming and suddenly I have wanted to disappear. I have not enjoyed my own posts and I have not been visiting my blogging friends either. A sad little trap indeed. Thanks for giving me the nudge I needed.
Big Hugs,
Susan and Bentley
I agree. I feel as you do. When I started blogging, it was to release the stress in my life over lossed jobs and fear of the future. Since then, I almost cringe when I go to some of my favorite blogs and all it is is party after party. I cannot compete with that.
Thank you for speaking the truth! I've found that I get the best response from posts when I'm truthful about my life (past or present) and I don't get much of anything from 'fluff'. I still have a lot to learn, but I love hearing a veteran blogger actually WANT the real deal. :-)
I don't participate in the blog parties and I'm pretty much just ME on my blog.. those are the ones I gravitate toward too, Brenda.
As you said, nothing wrong with those that have blog hops, blog parties... they serve a purpose too.. but you've said it so well, when I visit a blog, it's to visit the blogger.
soooo very very true. I love the CORE of blogging, the projects, the pictures, the stories! For me blogging is an extra FUN thing I get to ADD to my life. And that means, sometimes real life gets in the way...sometimes the BLOG gets a teeny bit neglected to concentrate on the more important things. Making choices like 'do I get my pics ready to post about the cool project I just completed or...'do I feed my kids?' You KNOW what wins & rightly so! BALANCE, right? xo to you! www.NorthernCottage.net
I think I am sooooo with you on this...I saw a blog party the other day and there were over 400 guest attending..Now if you are located anywhere between 1 and maybe 20, then you might have some new friends stop over....but what if you are number 320? Not likely that there are going to be that many people read all of the 319 post ahead of you....just sayin'
I too like real stories and real voices..
thanks Brenda
shows you how out of it I am -- I haven't even known what blog parties are ??!! I must only read really sincere good blogs, like this one! Brenda, you are on my mind and in my prayers. Keep persevering and He will make the crooked way straight. No parties, just sincerity - how about that! :) j
I don't do the parties because I simply can't be redecorating or tablesetting every week. I much prefer the ones that I can relate to on a personal level. Yes, I love looking at the pretty pictures and rooms as much as anyone, but if it is nothing else, after a while it gets a little old. In this fast-paced world, it's nice to have blog friends who are more real. We all have cloudy days, how would we appreciate the sunny ones, otherwise?
Thank you for your blog post! It definetly takes courage anymore to be original, and authentic, not just a pretty picture, but when we are our true selves, that is when we are the most beautiful~
Hollie
Parties aren't really my thing, and you know Brenda that I'm not afraid to blog about life's ups and downs. But I do think it's easier to tell folk about the bad bits as an established blogger than as a newbie. I don't mean that just because a person hasn't long been blogging they can't talk about a bad day, but you can overdo it at the stage where you are building a circle of bloggy friends if all you're offering is doom and gloom. Get to know your readers, let them get to know you, and then they want to share your joys and sorrows, which is I suppose where the authentic voice comes in, and I do hope I have that, and you most certainly do.
Hi Brenda..I love the way you just tell it like it is...I have never joined a party nor will I ever~not even interested in it what so ever..I like hearing from real people like yourself...someone whos not afraid to bear her true feelings or express them to us...I look forward every day to reading your blog...yours is the ONLY one I do read every day...I hope things are getting a little better for you as time goes by...I am thinkig of you and wish you joy!! Hang in there Brenda...soon Spring will be here and things will look up for you~I just KNOW they will!! Love you!!! Carol
I have no problem being real on my blog but I draw the line if it in any way embarrasses my husband or kids. If I can't have them read it and feel good about what I said then I won't write it. Of course I have no problems embarrassing myself. I am an open book.
Since mine is mostly a decorating blog, I stick to that theme. I will share family gatherings, cooking, pets etc., but the purpose of my blog is really for inspiration to others and a journal for myself. To connect with people that are interested in the same things as I am. I guess I leave my utmost personal affairs to the privacy of my family.
You know me, I really believe that everyone should be able to do their thing, whatever that is. While my blog is mostly about crafting and creating, I totally support so many others in what they want to be writing, and enjoy reading their blogs.
But blog parties, oh dear, I am such a party girl! I LOVE the blog parties, and have met so many of my good blogging pals through them. I wouldn't dream of not supporting my besties for their weekly party, if I have content that is relevant. This is especially true if it's someone that I know is trying to earn money through their blog. If I can bring them any traffic at all through linking to their event, it's totally worth the few minutes that it takes to join in. And every week I get emails from someone new, asking me to link to their party. If someone is gracious enough to send an invitation, I'll certainly make the effort to join, and hope to help make them feel that their event was a success.
Mostly I love what you said, that our differences are what makes the world go round! One of the best things about blogging is all of the different folks we find, that we would never have met otherwise. I hope everyone feels that they can speak their mind, and be themselves, whatever that self may be.
Blogging for the most part is about the vignette. A snippet of life, home, fashion, dear husband best friend etc. And vignettes are not real life. They are carefully edited snippets of what someone wants someone else to see and believe.
What timing. I, too, have been thinking about the vast number of parties that are available. I admit that I have participated in some of them but it has gotten a little out of hand not to mention to keep up with. Thinking that you HAVE to be ready to link up to another party makes the whole blogging experience a bit of a chore which is NOT what I set out to do. My blog primarily focuses on my knitting and spinning with a dose of my life, kids, cooking, cats and whatever. Over the last several weeks I have been re-evaluating where I want it to go and your post sealed the deal so to speak...I do not wish to be just another linky looky loo. It is time to get back to what I want. Thank you!
I love your blog. You keep it real. If you have to keep it always sunny to keep friends, they are not really friends. If you want to just collect a large number of readers (as many people do to make $) it's one thing, if you want to have friends, it's quite another. I think it's why some people say that blogger friends aren't real friends. Maybe that's true for some, but it is certainly not so for you.
I must say-- I'm guilty. While I don't attend dozens of parties-- I have a few that I do link to-- sometimes I just go to the parties and read all the other posts. That being said-- I've been thinking along these lines and I shared with you that I get lots of traffic from your site and you don't typically host a party...but I still get quite a bit of traffic from here...You're in my top 3!
I've been doing some reflecting on this matter-- I think most of the traffic that comes from parties are JUST taking a peek.
But I get others that come and leave a comment. Some stay on as friends--- I think they are the ones that appreciate my writing and appreciate Me - for being me!
I know that is why I come here-- because I can appreciate you for being You!
thanks for this post--devoted (and thankful)reader, Pat
Brenda, I have been reading your blog for a few months and have never commented, but I had to today. This post is spot-on! I love your colorful cozy little house! It is nice to see someone else who loves color, especially red, the same way that I do :) God bless you and hope for good things for your future. ~ Karen
I so agree. I did Pink Saturday to get to know people and I am still glad I did. But I tired a few more than it was too much and I did series of things like your thrifty living. Just me to get me on the move to share things I loved and wanted to share. But I do have days I start to blog and after reading the various blogs I follow I will find a theme I want to talk about. I have to do what I feel or I just don't blog and I really miss it when I don't. It is nice to "belong" but sometimes it is harder than being me. I like to hear the good and feel honored when I can support through the bad. It is hard to let it out to people you don't know. But we have a common ground here and we can listen to and get each others opinions as well as support through the hard times. It is what friends do.
Hugs, Lisa
great post Brenda!!! When I started blogging I did it with the purpose of sharing just things about my house and garden and a little about my life here in Idaho. For the most part though it was to be like my own little magazine publication and if there were those who wanted to look through it they are more than welcome. It is mostly for me however, and I like to print the previous year into books so I will always have them in case I decide to shut the blog down someday.
I enjoy the more personal blogs too and love to read about different places and what is going on in the lives of my friends. I think there is room for all and I think that is why I love blogshere so much. I gravitate to decorating blogs and DIY the most, but I love the gardening and 'feel good' blogs as well...I just totally stay away from political blogs though, because I get enough of that on TV. I love the things I learn from others, whether it be how they overcame a particular problem in their lives to how they came to the choice they made on paint colors for their living room.
It really is a beautiful place in this world.
hugs from me...
Well said, Brenda. I sometimes feel overwhelmed at all the links and parties that I see on the blogs. I miss the simple blogs of a few years ago as well. Thanks for the post.
sandi
There are only a few blogs that I read regularly...yours being one of them. I do have links to 3 blogs on Mondays and Saturdays. My reason being is that it is like walking into a place where everyone knows your name...same people and you get to know where they live, what their lives are about and they reciprocate. I will also write without linking when I feel like it. I also try to write authentically but do try to be upbeat. In all honesty Brenda...it is my nature to be the glass half full gal. I do appreciate your honesty and love your writing more than you will ever know. Every now and then though, I like to blog hop and see what is new.
♥, Susan
great words, I do not read or follow party events. I could look at magazines to see pictures, I want stories. Thank you for sharing yours.
Thank you for your post this morning...
I guess I don't know what a "blog party is"...as I am very new to blogging but I agree with you in that it would be rather boring to always be "up" and never have anything but a fairy tale to share. If you can't be yourself, why bother?
Oh thank you for approaching a subject I too have been contemplating. I can't name the number of times of late I've deleted a blog from my bookmarks because I can't bear to look at all those little linked up squares after a 2 sentence post!
Authenticity. That's why I decided to drop the Penny Ann Poundwise persona. I did lose a few friends and I kinda lost me too, until I realized that Penny Ann Poundwise was ME just a facet though. I am finally hearing my own voice once more.
Brenda, you have truly "hit upon something" when you question if we have ". . . Lost Our Authenticity". I do think that truth and honesty have been silenced by, sacrificed to political correctness. I have no worry about "truth" surviving, it is an eternal kind of force, but in the meantime, I have to wonder how many people suffer silently, fearing the alienation of others, it they utter their true thoughts and feelings. God help us, these are strange times. Thank you for your thought-filled blog, Brenda.
Well. I sometimes hesitate to post comments on your beautiful blog, Brenda, because I can barely sew on a button! I'm a photographer, so my blog is used in conjunction with photo shoots, plus whenever I travel, and for occasional ramblings. Therefore, I don't get invited to all these fancy online parties that y'all are talking about! I do agree with you, however, that authenticity is so very key. It's important not to lose it in all that party planning and attending! Just my two cents worth... Hugs to you!
Hi Brenda! I so agree that political correctness silences people! It makes them afraid to show who they really are and what they are going through in their lives.
It's refreshing when people share some of the things going on in their life. It makes it so much easier to bond with people when there is openness. Also, it makes it possible to bring support when it's needed!
We're all human. We all make mistakes. We all need help and support at one time or other in our lives. By not being afraid to be vulnerable, we encourage others to do the same.
I suppose that political correctness has its place but sometimes it hinders more than it helps!
I am always drawn to someone who is open. I tend to trust them more because I know where they've been and what they've done. I have more insight into them because they open up.
It's so much easier to befriend someone like that than someone who keeps everything in because of their need to be politically correct! I think it's so sad! They can miss out on so much!
I absolutely love this post and your blog.. I feel the same way you do when I visit some of the blogs.. I haven't a clue how to do a linky party or anything like that.. I've had a blog for a few years but it's mostly about things I like, hobbies, recipes and my life.. both the good and the bad.. I guess I just like to as they say, "keep it real".. My blog is my journal and I like to write about everything in it.. Thanks again for posting what I am sure from all the comments a lot of bloggers are thinking :)
Robyn
Brenda, I love this post. I have to get back to you. I am not feeling at all well and need to go to bed. Just wanted to add my vote to "great post". I love REAL.
PS if you go to my blog, I just changed it over the weekend. Right now I am in love with chalkboards and photography and always the Lord, so my blog now looks like a chalkboard with photo in the center. That is my REAL for this month, whatever, until I want to change it again. Need to go to bed. Sorry, but it was a great post.
There is a happy medium. Link up when you want to reach out to others with similar interests but stay true to your self. I started my blog because my Mother died and I found other bloggers who had similar stories. I love to write. But sometimes you get writer's block and you just do a little photo post. I blog because I live in an isolated place and it gives me a chance to reach out to others. For me as a beginner, I need to link up occasionally. So, like I said, it has to be a happy medium. Love your honesty. You were one of the first blogs I followed. An inspiration. xx
I like that there are no rules in blogging and that there's something for everyone. Having said that, I'm more drawn to blogs that have original posts. They're more personal. I participate in one or two parties and enjoy the people I've met through them. Honestly, I think it's easier to respond to a party than to come up with something original, so it's a nice break now and then!
I always enjoy reading your blog and know I'm in for a treat when I come over here!
My blog is my journal of my life. It's mainly about my role of housewife (part-time) and mother. I talk about the good, bad and ugly, but it always seems to come back to God. I used to do show and tell Friday and I was glad I did it because I made a lot of friends that way, but I got caught up in trying to be a nice blogger and replying to every comment and then it got hard. I shut down for about 9 months and lost a lot of my readers, but now I feel it's just for me and a few loyal friends. I like the creative outlet that blogging gives me.
Brenda,
I understand what you are saying and I guess I am guilty of linking to many parties but it is one way to make new freinds and see other blogs that I may not have even known about.
I try to remain true to myself on my blog even though most of my blog is about decorating as that is my passion.
My current post might be somehting that you are interested in because I know you have found what I talk about to be true. It is about What Your Blog May Mean to Others. You give a lot of bloggers a voice when you talk about the reality of your life. Many have tried to keep their blogs real and I hope that I am succeeding in doing that too!
I always love to read what you have to say!!
Hugs,
Deb
Amen Sister, I love a good blog party, and like any other party, it is fun once in awhile, but after that, I am ready to set myself down and just visit.As in life, not on-line life, I would love to share a cup of coffee or tea and see life through your eyes, without the fancy table-settings and homilies.
Sister-bloggers have upheld me in prayer and encouraging words and I cannot begin to tell you how they sustained me and encouraged me throughout the worst days of my life. Had I thought only blog parties mattered then ,I know my path to healing would have been a longer trail with many more trips & thorns.Praise God He allowed encouraging words to help me along.
You really hit the nail on the head with this post Brenda! This is something Ihave struggled with to the point of considering not blogging any more. It takes a certain amount of courage to plod along on your own rather than jumping on the bandwagon. Don't get me wrong, I think we all dream of the success we see others having with their writing. Making money with our thoughts, possible book deals and affiliations with big companies would be most welcome. But I struggle with writing with that in mind rather than humming my own tune. I didn't start my blog with the thought that anyone except my family members would see it. I was amazed when I got my first comment from a "stranger"! I love the community I have found, but I still feel the pressure to conform and I'm not a conforming kind of girl. When blogging was new I had no trouble beeing seen and heard, now it just seems harder to get noticed with all the mega bloggers. I'm happy where I am right now, but I would love to grow without giving up my unique perspective.
You are writing a book, with all this wisdom in it, aren't you? You are a terrific writer.
You are writing a book, with all this wisdom in it, aren't you? You are a terrific writer.
I've found some of the best blogs from people commenting on your blog. I've seen the parties but don't join because I prefer the blogs with life.
The blog world has something for everyone and it's good that there are choices. But as in the real world, choices are mine to make and when I find myself not liking something, or the general theme, it's my choice not to visit - and I'm sure they don't miss me either!
My preference is real life. And in my case, my comments tell more of my life than my blog since my mom reads mine and I won't shock her because she doesn't know I haven't worked in 3 years. Lol. She does know I'm going to sell the house, buy a Casita trailer and live there full time though.
AMEN!!!
LOVE this!
That's one of the reasons I keep coming here! I love your honesty and sharing. You're right...a party is great, sometimes. I'd much rather hear someone's heart though!
& by the way...
my door is pretty much opened...come on in...
;)
Hello Brenda!
Right on! Love this posting. As a relatively new blogger (just made 1 year) I joined a few parties just to introduce myself and hopefully meet some new people. Yes, the parties are becoming overwhelming. I try to keep my blog a positive place, but I do talk about my challenges as well. We all have a unique voice and I'm still trying to develop mine in this big ole blogosphere. Some of the blogs seem like a popularity contest and others just won't let you in no matter how much you visit. That's just the way life is. I blog because it's fun and can be creative. I'm dabbling in photography and I love to share my garden. Some of the blogs only share what they believe to be magazine worthy but hey, I live in a home and I sure am NOT a professional decorator. I guess there is a place and a genre for everyone. To each their own. I am meeting some really nice people and for that I am truly grateful. I'm not blogging for numbers or popularity, I'm blogging for the joy of it. I blog and wish to connect with people. When it ceases being enjoyable I will stop.
~Sandy
Brenda, you are always on the cutting edge of blogging, it's like you are the Faith Popcorn of the blogging world. And so right, some posts are just "happy happy happy, link link link."
I don't read those, I read for reality, for authenticity, for uniqueness...and I can tell by the amount of readers and comments that you have, so do your readers.
Jen @ Muddy Boot Dreams
Hi Brenda -- seems like all your readers are pretty much of one accord!! I don't do parties at all and have no interest in it. Sure, I like new visitors to my blog, but that's not why I do it. It's for me!!
Take care, my dear. Spring is coming and things will get better.
I very much agree with you about authenticity. I really don't like it when bloggers blog just to try to become the next Big Decor/DIY blog or simply to just make money...where is the authenticity in that? I think you should share the ups and the downs to keep it real and to show real photos as well as the pretty...this is something I need to work on, i'm just not sure how much I want share sometimes. As for parties, they are a good way to find other blogs you like as well as introducing your blog to others, there really can be just too many sometimes. Oh and I've noticed when a big blog hosts a party with a theme, many bloggers create a post to fit that theme and seems kind of inauthentic to me.
I look forward to your blog everyday because it is authentic! thank you Brenda for keeping it real....Friends that desert you in your bad times were never really friends in the first place. Life is chock full of ups and downs, a true friend holds your hand through it all! Thank you for being that true friend to all us us, your faithful readers who do care about you and your life! Blessings to you! :)
I've been blogging for almost 5 years and have no idea what a blogging party is!!
Love your blog brenda as always!
Love samxx
i am with you 100% i read blogs to learn how other people live their lives and i love all the people thats blogs i read
I am fairly new to your blog but I do enjoy it so. I like the fact that you are honest and up front. Your blog is so beautiful and I think newbie bloggers like myself, may try a bit to hard to grow their numbers. I would love to see my follower numbers grow but only by the folks who really want to read my thoughts, feelings, and see what my family and I have been up to. Thanks for your honesty.
Blessings!
I'm a rookie blogger and I simply enjoy the expression. Don't really understand all the hype about parties, just love to meet people with common interests like my own. I agree. Don't forsake your first love!
Thanks Brenda for being so open with all of us. I do find I don't have as much time to post or read other blogs and I miss that. I also miss some of the bloggers I got to know when I first started a year ago. Even in that short amount of time things have changed. When I first started blogging and I linked up to a party and it said to be sure and visit the person before and after you, I thought "who wouldn't do that?". But now I find I so often just link up and go on my way and then I wonder why no one comes by to visit much anymore. Thank you for your honesty, for sharing, for just plain telling it like it is. I will try to post more and definitely read more.
If you would be so kind as to send me your address, I still have a thank you gift I would like to send you ~ Cindy
Pat said everything I was thinking...
I think most of us ARE posting in an authentic way. Authentic for US as individuals. THAT is the joy of blogging, I think. :) Taking each blog for what it is and either enjoying it to the fullest....or mark it off our favorites list....just like the people we meet in real life. Some, I love to pieces....others fade from memory really fast. :))
hugs, bj
Hi Brenda,
This is something that I have noticed in the past 6 months or so...a lot of linky party things. I have joined in here and there but now there are so many of them every day of the week that I feel guilty when I don't go back every week. So...I've made up my mind that if I have a post that matches a party that I enjoy on that particular day...then I'll join in but I'm not going to go crazy joining in with all of them. I think if I were to try and keep up I would loose the joy of blogging...and I sure don't want to do that. Thanks for being so open and honest with your feelings on this. You're right...some of the people I really enjoyed following have gotten lost in the 'linky party world' and I miss them too. Have fun working on your pillows! Maura :)
our voices, our very own voices, are so unique and special. There is no other exactly like the one you have.
amen girl!
Hi Brenda,
I plan what I want to blog about, and then select a party that fits my theme. I don't think anyone would notice my blog if I didn't have a party to attend.
But I'm the kind of person that needs actual face-to-face contacts. Blogging takes a lot of time, and I'd rather be out interacting in the physical sense. If I had health problems and couldn't get out, I would find it a true blessing. I'd like it better if I lived close to bloggers with mutual interests, too. I hope to give the other party goers an opportunity to see what I post, if they want to.
I have to get ready to go to one of my ladies group meetings now. Your pillows are gorgeous!
Rosie
Wow, this is one of those posts that really makes you think isn't it. I love reading your blog for the very reason that you are so authentic and pure in your message. I have not been blogging actively and consistently enough that I am totally aware what a blog party really is, but when I do go to a blog that I frequent and it has changed to just be a series of links to parties, then I do get confused like you. Thanks for making us aware :)
Trine
What a wonderful well said post! I think the idea of losing your voice is so enlightening! I have been dealing with some of the same thoughts lately and have been blogging about it as well. And so this speaks so deeply to how I feel about blogging and how I have had to step away in order to refind my own voice and make sure I am being true to myself when I post...and not feeling pressured by blogging productivity of more projects and a pretty house! Thank you so much for sharing!
Fabulous post my friend!
Although I do have a weekly party I do my best to visit each and everyone of the links, I have found some amazing talent through those links. When I first started blogging I would link up to weekly parties and became friends with many of the hosts. With such a busy family life I barely have time to link up anymore but try when I have pushed out a big project. As bloggers we really need to keep it real and not be fake. The biggest tip I give people is to be you poeple will love you for it!:) Thank you for this!
XO
Kristin
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