To Be Creative

Yesterday afternoon I got out and got my mammogram done. Had to go to a very busy area of hospitals with road construction everywhere you looked. Long lines of traffic from all directions.

But I finally found the right parking garage. Only to find I was at one end, and the building I was actually supposed to go into was at the other end. It wasn't more than a block. And downhill. But I was limping by the time I got to the eleveators.

I do pretty well with my ankle until I have to go do something like that. An hour on my feet, or an hour without my feet elevated, is going to be trouble no matter what I do. 

People tell me to just walk a little ways one day and then go a little further the second day. But what they don't understand is that isn't the way it works. 

If I'm on my feet, and the blood is going downward, I'm going to be in pain. Doesn't matter if I'm walking or standing. Although standing seems to the be the hardest. 

Then when I was done on the 8th floor and came down the elevator to the 1st, where my car was parked in the garage, I was looking uphill. But I made it. 

There has to be a better way to do this. I suppose I should look into a handicapped sticker, though I've been reluctant (stubborn) about doing so. 

I guess I hate to see this thing as permanent. The brace, the pain, the fact that nothing is going to make it better. That is hard to swallow. 

But then I tell myself there is always, ALWAYS someone much worse off. So I trudge onward. And feel selfish for even letting myself feel sad about it. It is what it is. 

I tell myself: I can still blog. I can still take photos. I just can't walk or drive far. So I have to work my life around it. It makes you feel more vulnerable, less safe. Because there is no certainty to what you can do in those circumstances. 

But I am grateful for the birds in the backyard, the flowers that will ease up from the soil in springtime, the leaves that will soon bud on the trees. You have to be grateful. 

I tried and tried this morning to get a good shot of this woodpecker. But it wasn't being compliant. It never turned so I could capture its face. Too busy doing what woodpeckers do. 

For some reason I can't explain, this is one of my favorite images I decoupaged on my kitchen cabinets. There is something about the girl facing forward. Something in her eyes.

Something I feel that should be conveyed to me. Her unsmiling stare. The cock of her head. Staring; not eating. 

Isn't it funny how some things just capture us, hold us spellbound? 

"To be creative means to be in love with life. You can be creative only if you love life enough that you want to enhance its beauty. You want to bring a little more music to it. A little more poetry to it. A little more dance to it." - Osho 

I may never dance. But it is enough to be creative.

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  1. Hi Brenda..Hope you are having a nice day...if I were you I so would get a handicap sense getting your ankle so sore again...the weather here in Iowa is warming up some..we have been lucky and have not had much snow this winter...yea! Loved your pictures today! take care..Carol

  2. That picture of the young girl and the woman is fascinating. They look like they are from different eras. The girl looks like pictures of my grandmother as a young girl in the 1920s. The woman looks like she could be in a painting by a Dutch Master in the late 1600s. I suspect someone had some fun with Photoshop in putting together that picture. I love it! I think the girl is thinking, "As soon as I'm 18, I'm out of here!" The woman is thinking, "Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought at your age too. You'll learn the hard way, just like I did."

  3. Great post, Brenda. I'm with you- stubborn enough to hope something isn't permanent and that I can "beat it". Glad you made it IN and OUT of the medical facility. You are right- sometimes it is enough to be grateful for what we have when we see others so much worse off.

    I love the image of that girl, too. It IS something about her eyes- xo Diana

  4. If anyone understands, I do after that serious fall I took this fall. I also understand the unwillingness to label yourself. I pray that your ankle improves, Brenda. I want to see you not just dance, but run some day! Never say never. xoxoxoxox


  5. New to your blog, but I am enjoying looking around. Thank you for sharing your creativity and pictures with us.
    Hope that your mammogram checkup was ok. I am a 11 year breast cancer survivor so I am thankful. I also broke my ankle on Jan 4, so this hasn't been the best start to the new year. Hope that both of us will be getting around better soon.

  6. That IS a very interesting and arresting picture; you are quite right about her eyes.

    I think you should get the car sticker and use it when sorely needed. When the distance is not too far, than park in a normal spot like you usually would. You have come a long reason to go through needless stress and pain when you do not have to! :) Just my two cents :)

    You and that woodpecker...I am just glad that he is around. Since I don't have any show up here I always enjoy yours! : )

  7. Don't they issue temporary handicapped stickers in Oklahoma, Brenda. I'm in Arizona and my doctor authorized a 6-month handicapped permit for me. Lung cancer hindered fixing my knee so I'll probably have to get one more permit. I walk with a cane, which helps a little, and that permit has made things so much easier. Why suffer if you don't have to?

  8. Brenda, I think you should see about getting a hang tag for your car. You're not exactly handicapped but I think being able to part closer to where you're going would be of benefit to your ankle.
    Maybe the short walks, wherever you go, would strengthen rather than stress your ankle.
    Your bromeliad is gorgeous and the blackberries look scrumptious.. I'm glad to see that you're eating healthy.
    There is something about look on the young girl's face that worries me.. She probably didn't want to have her picture taken if it's a photograph.
    We still have snow over our ankles.. I haven't been out except to feed my birds and squirrels.
    Thinking about you,

  9. I meant to say park closer.

  10. I"d ask the doctor for a temporary sticker. Here in California they are red. That way you won't be "permanently disabled" and you can at least use it when need be, provided you don't forget to put it up! Your plants are so pretty. They are so happy inside!

  11. You will dance again, Brenda. Hold on to that thought, it takes time, but you'll get there. Most people don't understand the nature of the beast. The beast meaning an ankle broken as badly as yours was, and mine. I had several peeps tell me that they broke their ankle and it didn't take so long to get over. Well, it depends on how severely and where it was broken, doesn't it? Several breaks in the joint is the worst possible place, IMO. But there did come a day when I realized that I was on my feet longer each day without pain until one day there was little to no pain at all, depending on the weather and how much walking I did, of course. If you are like me, you will be able to forecast weather changes by your ankle! I went out the other day and walked around 4 large flea market/antique shops and had no pain, or it was so slight I didn't pay much attention. So, don't throw away your dancing shoes and you just might need some running shoes, too. About the handicapped sticker, I never did get one, but many times I wished I had one. I would see a lot more folks get out of cars with the tag that could walk much better than I could.

  12. I really love these photos. Your houseplants are so lush and beautiful. That looks like Chex Mix and nuts with the blackberries!?

    I've had ankle surgery that wasn't very successful and a knee replaced. I can't walk very far either. I have a temporary handicapped tag. I agree with everyone else. It would be in your best interest to apply for a tag. It's so justified in your case!

  13. I love that image of the girl and her mother (I'm guessing it's her mother). She looks totally disinterested in her soup and her thoughts are far off. What is the mother holding?

  14. Get the handicapped sticker or hang tag, Brenda. I have MS and while I can still walk OK, I have a weak leg and walking any distance is wearing for me. Do not feel guilty. You deserve it and need it.

  15. And very creative you are Brenda. It's hard to adjust to physical changes, I hate not being able to do what I once did. Hang in there! Hugs, Linda

  16. But you DO dance Brenda, just not with your feet, you dance with your words!

  17. But you DO dance Brenda, just not with your feet, you dance with your words!

  18. It's hard when we can't do what we could a few years ago. I still insist walking a long way and have bunions so suffer for days afterwards. I really must get them sorted out! As Teresa says above, you do dance with your words and fantastic posts. Take care. xx

  19. People are creative in different ways. Some draw, some sing, some dance. YOU paint pictures with your words and photos, decorate, and blog. Now, get that sticker, make sure it isn't TOO serious, and just think of it as another decoupage project!! ;-D


  20. That picture is indeed fascinating. It opens itself up to whatever interpretation we wish to convey.

    I know what you mean about the sticker Brenda. You will know what to do and when with regard to that. I had my surgery Friday and all went well. Just call me gimpy for now.

    You have the right attitude. In spite of your challenges, you are blessed in so many ways.

  21. By all means, get the sticker! It has made my life infinitely easier. I also gave in and use a cane when I am out and about because it beats falling. I am hoping once I get the knees fixed when the insurance is straightened out, that maybe I can ditch the cane.

    Of course, there are always the lovelies who park in the handicap spaces without the sticker. I want to whack the a good one with my cane when I see that. On days when I am not in a lot of pain, I don't use it. Just because you have it for when you need it doesn't mean you have to use it every time.

  22. Get a handicap sticker! It is the best thing I ever did for myself. I can walk, but have arthritis in both knees with no cartilage and anything past handicap parking is downright painful. I also got a walker with wheels and a seat that is also a life saver. Think comfort!

  23. I'm glad you are seeing the glass half full. Many of our hospitals have valet parking. I assume yours doesn't or you would have mentioned that. I feel bad you have to do this alone. Maybe getting the temp sticker as some have mentioned would help.

    I like the picture. It looks like the girl isn't liking the food on her plate, perhaps that her mother (the lady across from her) gave her?


    1. Maybe the young girl is thinking about her bare arms on a day when they having steaming hot something liquid. How will she ever serve it and eat it on a plate. Perhaps she is waiting for bread.

  24. I hate that when you go to a hospital and you have to walk for miles. Our Children's hospital is like that. Plus, the fact you are so vulnerable as far as safety is concerned. I would do the handicap sticker. You don't have to always display it.
    This isn't anything like your walk but a week ago I ran into an od friend that moved to NJ. I live in Ohio. She was at the Archivers store shopping their closeout specials. She walked up to me and it took me awhile to register that I just ran into a dear friend. anywhoo, we went to lunch. I pulled up and parked at what I thought was the entrance. I walked up to it but it was the back of the place, so I ended up walking all the way around the whole place. It was pretty funny but I don't have a bad ankle. Well, I do but only once in awhile.

  25. Creative is good, Brenda. I am so sorry that your ankle is still giving you so much pain. I feel vulnerable when I walk in the snow. I know that if I fall with these two knee replacements I may not get back up, so I am waiting for the big melt so I can start walking again. Woodpeckers aren't very cooperative, are they. xo Laura

  26. Hi Brenda - When I was injured in a car accident, I was able to get a sticker (temporary) to shop. Get one, use it, and get out!! It shouldn't last forever, and, in my case, I was able to turn it in shortly afterwards. Your words are wonderful !

  27. Handicapped car hangers aren't permanent. Even the ones that are suppose to be permanent have to be renewed every few years. I have to take my Mom in to have hers renewed again next year. You don't have to use it if you don't want to for trips that don't involve the kind of walking you just did. But, you need it in those cases. You can take it down if you don't feel you want to use it, but it will be there if you do. Get one.

  28. That photo has definitely been Photo-Shopped, Brenda; that's why the young girl's eyes draw you in. Those eyes are real, probably also her whole figure and face and hair are from a real photo, but the rest of the picture looks like an old Dutch oil painting. Someone had fun!

    Hope the ankle gets well, and soon!

  29. My coworker has a hang tag, and it just gives her so much freedom, and a dynamic can do attitude. I think it just takes the pressure off. She doesn't have to worry. Less stress for her. Enjoy the birds! I do love your pictures!

  30. You have a great attitude Brenda. May your creative inspiration abound even more! ~Ann
    Tarnished Royalty

  31. This is a wonderful post, Brenda. I love that quote -- what blogger couldn't relate to that;)


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