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Brenda has been writing since grade school. She attended journalism school where she majored in professional writing. She loves to decorate, garden, read and spend time with her Yorkies.

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Java Talk: Funny Pet Stories




My Funny Pet Story


Once at the little blue house, we had this tortoise problem. Or maybe it was just a big turtle. But it was BIG.


I learned about it when the dogs started barking frantically. When I saw what they were barking at, my first thought was: How did that huge thing get in the fenced yard? And immediately after that: How am I going to get it out?


They'd never seen anything remotely like this before. I wonder what they thought it was? Whatever, they wanted to GET it. I was beside myself. They wouldn't leave it alone. They wouldn't come in. 



Finally I guess they got hungry or something and they came in. But the next time they went out, they immediately honed in on it again. I felt sorry for the poor thing. See Charlie's ears?


Oh, they thought they were really scary, barking and growling at the poor thing. It would go up the fence one way, turn around when it got to the corner, and head the other direction.


This went on for days. I couldn't figure out what to do. If I got up the nerve to pick it up (and I don't have anywhere near that much nerve), they would jump me and probably knock us both down. Me and it.



Finally, a few days later, I heard no barking. I went out and looked around. I guess it got out wherever it got in. 

I was just so relieved it was gone! And safe from the pupsters. Doubt they could have hurt it. But they could have worried it half to death.

Have you got a funny pet story to share? Let me go get my coffee cup while you think about it.





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82 comments:

  1. The day the movers came I had to lock the cats up in the laundry room so they could bring everything into the house without me worrying about them getting out or tripping the workers. When they were almost done one of the workers told me that the cat had lifted the grate from the floor vent and was going down into the duct work. I didn't understand one word he said (his Southern accent was very heavy) and I just said, "oh, that's nice." I happen to look into the laundry room to see how they were doing and all I could see was Chloe's behind, she was going down there to explore. I started yelling for help but nobody came, so I grabbed her by her back leg and starting pulling her up. It's a good thing she has a wide middle, otherwise I would have been calling the heating/air guy to come and rescue her from the duct work. We moved from Texas to North Carolina and in Texas the grates are on the ceiling, in N.C. they are on the floor and she had never seen one before, she was definitely going to explore. It wasn't funny then but now when we talk about it we all have a little laugh about it.

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  2. Our old dog found a tortoise in our backyard and unfortunately, she picked it up in her mouth and cracked the shell a bit. We gave the tortoise to the kindergarten teacher at the local elementary school and she still has it in her classroom 10 years later.

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    1. Must have had a bigger mouth than the pupsters. Wonder how long those things live?

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    2. My son has a turtle that is three feet long and just as big.....he has had him for 10 years and think he can live to be 100. He comes when you call him and shakes his body back and forth....it is funny to see. He made a habitat for him and raises plants for him to eat. In the winter, he has a heated house!

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  3. That's a good one! Cats will get into any space they can wiggle into, won't they?

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  4. I had a cat that was terrified of crows. She would cower in the house away from windows if they were strutting around the yard. Didn't you have a turtle/tortoise that Judy's husband brought to his church because your dogs wouldn't stop barking at it? Maybe I'm thinking of another blogger.

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  5. Oh my goodness, you're right! That's what happened to it. I can't believe I forgot and you remembered! Yep, that was me. I just can't believe you remember that!

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  6. Our toy poodle has three outdoor kitties as playmates, and he might think that he is a cat. When we pick him up from the groomer, he is often in the kitty condo. One of our cats loves him so much, that she runs around with him in the yard, and when they are done playing they sit together and she grooms him.

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  7. We just took a vacation with our cocker spaniel, Otis. Since he was on vacation too, we took him to a pet store. He picked out a twisted piggy stick, carrying it in his mouth, he took it to the register by the door. I paid for it while he continued onto the street with my hubby with his treat still in his mouth. He ended up carrying it all the way to the car. My husband and I were hysterical as was the shop owner.

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    1. Now that's one smart dog you've got there!

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  8. On weekends I have the luxury of sleeping in and some weekends I take full advantage. My weiner dog, Rosie is quite content to be in bed with me sleeping. She allows me to sleep alot on weekends if I want...but when she has had her fill, she pounces on my back and barks her head off, letting me know, 'hey lady get up and take me out!'

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  9. Ruby Red Lips was a tri-color border collie cross cow dog. Don't know why she was named that. She wasn't the smartest dog we have ever had, but was the one with the most attitude. Once there were 3 calves way up on top of the hill that I wanted down by the gate. Now this is a really steep hill, several hundred yards almost straight up. I waved Ruby on, and she went running up the hill, but only brought one calf down. I sent her again, and again she brought one calf, I waved her on again. She sat down and looked at me as if to say, "I have gone up that hill twice for you, and I am not going again". We took her on a 2 week trip, and she had several traumatic things happen. She saw bicycles, large statues, rolled in a dead skunk, messed in her box, had several cold water baths, including one in the Salmon River, and took a long walk at the Craters of the Moon. She didn't like any of that stuff, and when we got, she was done with us. She wouldn't jump in the pickup, and quit working cows. But she was really pretty, someone came along that wanted to breed her to another good cow dog, and we let her go to a new home. She was probably a lot happier. .

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    1. Don't ya hate when they roll in a dead skunk, or some other long dead creature? Wonder why they do that?

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    2. The other day as I drove through a small town, all the traffic had to stop as an old Golden Retriever rolled in some dead smell in the middle of the blacktop street!

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    3. I have memories of my father throwing our collie mix in a pond for a bath because she'd rolled in something dead!

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  10. Good morning! I've really enjoyed everyone's stories so far. Thanks for choosing such a fun topic, Brenda. Our cat is an indoor cat, so not many opportunities for mischief there. But my daughter's cat, Ty, loves to play 'fetch'. If you wad up a small piece of paper and throw it, he'll fetch it every time. Even drop it in your hand if you put it out. He'll play like that for quite awhile. Really cute!

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    1. I can't teach these two pupsters to fetch. You can throw it and Abi simply ignores it. Charlie Ross will run to it and then come back empty-pawed. Don't think they're the brightest bulbs on the tree...

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  11. My story isn't necessarily a funny one but a good one just the same. Many years ago I had a mini schnauzer named Schatzi. I lived in a one-bedroom apartment and always kept my bedroom door shut at night when I slept and Schatzi slept in the kitchen. One night she scratched and scratched at my door and would not stop. This was not like her as she always slept through the night. She scratched and whined until I finally got up. She looked at me and ran into the kitchen and started barking at the wall oven. I couldn't imagine what was going on until I realized I had forgotten to turn it off after I made dinner, several hours before. It was VERY HOT and even the cabinets over it were hot. I don't know if it would have started a fire but as far as I am concerned my Schatzi was a hero, she knew something was not right and would not stop until I got up. Next day she got a nice hamburger for a reward!

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    1. Schatzi was a true hero! She should have gotten a medal for that.

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  12. Fun stories! :) With one cat and two dogs for the life of me I can't think of anything funny right off the bat but I have a little kid story. Last month I had the kids put dirt into eggshells and we put some seeds in there. After that there were pots with seedlings all over the place and the kids didn't pay much attention. Several days ago all that was left, on the back porch, were a few pots and a long planter with tomato starts. Due to the tomatoes, I also had an egg carton out there with a bunch of crushed shells that would go into the ground with the tomatoes. Grandson opens the carton and gets all excited! Somehow, because he knows chickens and birds hatch from eggs, for some reason he came to the conclusion that the seeds that he'd started had sort of BUSTED out of the eggshells, crushing them in the process and then morphed into the plants that he saw in the pots.

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    1. Little boys have BIG imaginations, don't they?

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  13. Many years ago on my horse farm, I had a mini Schnauzer named Ajax. I had a boarding stable and lots of people came tom see/ride their horses. One summer their were two young couples that each had a horse. They were friends, worked together, played together, and played with their horses together. Ajax was a farm dog, and loved the people, and any attention he got. These particular couples were pure animal lovers, and they would not only bring treats to the horses such as apples, carrots and sugar cubes, but they also brought out dog treats to Ajax. They came out several times a week, and Ajax learned to beg for his treats, and even begged to the other boarders hoping for treats. One evening as I mowed around the barn, I saw Ajax come outside with his dog treat, and drop it around the corner. He ran back into the barn to the boarders, got another treat, and ran outside and deposited it next to the others....then as the boarders went out with their horses, Ajax would sneak back into the barn and take the apples, carrots and sugar cubes, one at a time and drop them outside with his treats. when he was sure he had enough "treats" he would lie down and start to eat them! So, we all laughed about this...then they quit leaving their horse treats where Ajax could get them. So, one day when Ajax couldn't beg any horse treats, I watched him go over to the orchard, and get an apple, and bring it over to the barn, and est it! He was a real character, but then all the Schnauzers I have owned have been!!!!

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    1. That was one smart critter! My dogs would NEVER be able to pull all that off.

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  14. Having had pets all my life I can think of many funny stories but the one incident that still makes us laugh uncontrollably is the day our Maltese tripped over a French fry!

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    1. How on earth does one trip over a French fry? You watched this dog trip over a French fry? Well, now I've heard it all.

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  15. When my cat Rascal was a kitten he was just so curious and into everything..that's sort of how he got his name..One day I was doing laundry..I had a load in the washer and had just removed a load from the dryer..I thought I'll just let the dryer door open as the washer will soon be done..When I heard the washer stop I went back in the laundry room and put the load from the washer into the dryer..closed the door and pushed the start button..Right away I hear a loud thump, thump, thump..I knew immediately what it had to be..pulled open the door and out flew little Rascal..Needless to say..he went into hiding for a while but he was fine..I was more shook up than him..and he never again tried to take a nap in the dryer..

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    1. These stories are just making me laugh and laugh. Lord, what if you'd turned it on and gone outside or something? Rascal would either have been very dry or very dead.

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  16. When our granddaughters were small, they wanted a rabbit. We got a mature rabbit thinking it would be tamer. WRONG! So, we got them a baby lop eared rabbit which they named Molly. She was a beautiful little miniature lop eared rabbit. So precious. Tiffany had a miniature doll high chair. We had it for one of her porcelain dolls. It was very beautifully painted. Anyway, Tiffany trained that rabbit to come in the house and she would put a carrot on the tray of the high chair. Molly would then sit upright in her chair and nibble away at the carrot. We took her and the high chair to Pet Smart to have her picture made. The photographer laughed and said "surely, you don't expect me to believe that rabbit will sit in that high chair and eat that carrot long enough for me to take it's picture". Tiffany said to him "just watch". She sit up the high chair and Molly immediately crawled up into it and just sit there not moving an inch. In a matter of about fifteen minutes, everyone in the store was coming to see Molly sit in the high chair. At that point, Tiffany said "what do you think now?" to the guy and he took her photo. Then Tiffany gave her a carrot and she ate it. She was a real pleasure and played in the house with the girls and they trained her to use a kitty litter box. Amazing animals.

    Judy

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    1. Clearly there are animals that have more sense than many humans, if not most.

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  17. I too an inquisitive cat that wound up in the dryer for a few spins until we realized what that awful noise was! He was a character! I now have a 3 legged cat named Joey. We adopted him at 4 mths old. Didn't even notice he was missing his back leg til the man running the adoptions mentioned it. It was taken off at what would be our knee. It had already been removed when the rescue people took him out of a kill shelter. He's 4 now and follows me everywhere, sits and bangs on the bathroom door for me to let him in! Cries when I'm in the kitchen for food! Cries and chatters when I go outside to water the plants! Loves his L ear rubbed as that is the leg he is missing. Also terrorizes his Morkie brother! In short don't dismiss one of these little critters. He doesn't know anything is wrong!

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    1. Oh, I'm so glad that there are kind people that will adopt animals that are less than perfect. Perfection is in the eye of the beholder.

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  18. Oh my goodness, Brenda! Yikes!

    I have a million funny animal stories - I shall start with this one: I am an insomniac. Always have been. I seldom sleep, so I will be up at weird hours doing all sorts of stuff...mostly working.....last summer I was in my home office, where my kitty sleeps at night. He loves I don't sleep, because he always sits behind me in my chair. I call him Lumbar Kitty.

    Anyway he sleeeeeps like only a lazy kitty can do...........but he woke up with a start and began acting funny. Went to the window and growled....the window I was sitting next to.....the OPEN window in the SUIMMERTIME......and there, just inches from me was a raccoon on a branch of the big bush outside my window. Hrm. Well I didn't want him jumping in and getting into a scrap with Romeo-the-Kitty, and Rom wasn't about to go back to sleep. And I was scared but didn't wanna be a helpless big baby so I did what any respectable woman would do: went and grabbed a broom.

    I had every intention of kinda "scaring" the coon away, right? So I took a big deep breath and tried. Nothing. He just started at me in his intimidating-possible-feral-oh-my-gawd-what-if-it-has-rabies kind of way. OK, I am a city girl, right?

    So I tried again. Feeling bolder, went in closer, made noise and kinda tapped it and it REALLY GROWLED BACK at me. I don't even remember flying back inside it happened so fast. I ran into the office, closed all the windows there, shut out the light and went to bed. LOL. I hope I NEVER encounter a growling raccoon again is all I am sayin'. : - )

    That's my share for this time. Hugs.

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    1. Well of course you went for the broom. I have seen countless women in my day have some kind of trouble and they go for their trusty broom. For whatever reason.

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  19. I just want to say that one of the early comments, from Lisa, was correct. I was wrong. The turtle/tortoise didn't just slip away in the night. Judy's John came to get it and took it to his church, because there was a big pond there he knew it would probably go to. However it followed him back to the church. I hope, now that I've remembered, that the poor thing turned around and went back to the pond. It just mystifies me that you all can remember things that I forget that happened several years ago.

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  20. When my current Schnauzer Bella was a puppy, she grew up with my two Ferrets! they were great friends. The Ferrets had a clear dryer hose as a tunnel, and Bella was just little enough that she could go about half way into the hose after the Ferrets. They would run all over the house and play for hours! she learned their names, and if I said a name, she would go to the cage to see them!

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    1. How funny! Just goes to show that critters aren't biased about who their friends are.

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  21. I remember another cute one, but there's so many. My daughter had two bunnies for 4H, and one summer it was so hot so we brought them in the house to cool off. Well, we had a beagle dog then, Maggie the barking beagle, and as they are naturally hunters I worried what she would do. Well, she sat right there and guarded them the whole time they were in the house! It's fun to see the different species interact! Loved Kathy's ferret story!


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    1. Judy always has baby rabbits in her yard, and it drives their dog Bella, nuts. So Maggie has assumed the role of guard dog. And Bella wants them out of her yard!

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  22. This is a story about our neighbors dog, Pepper. He and his family live about 1/3 of a mile away from us but he likes to come over and see our cats and cattle and play with our dog. He, also, has only three legs due to a run in with a truck on the road. But doesn't slow him down one bit. One day I was outside and our phone rang so I went in and it was our daughter so came back outside with cordless phone and we talked for a while. I then proceeded to continue working in the yard and left the phone on our deck railing. I went inside several hours later and realized I had left the phone outside. I could not find it anywhere. Decided I must have brought it in. I looked the house over. Decided to start calling our number with my cell phone as I walked around the yard. By this time, figured Pepper had taken it. (Used to take our chore boots and garden tools home all the time. I finally got to the edge of our property and could hear it ringing! Here it was in their driveway just laying there. No damage and even Pepper came out to say hi as I picked it up. Our dog and Pepper play and play but he knows when his family comes home so he starts across the pasture and keeps looking back as if to say, "see you later, guys, be back tomorrow, gotta go home and eat supper." Ha!

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    1. I would probably have a wreck if I was driving by and saw a dog with a phone in its mouth! That's a new one!

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  23. We have so many funny stories about our dog Chip, who is no longer with us. He was a 10 lb poodle who thought he was a german shepard. Smart with attitude. I would often play the piano and sing and he would sit near by and listen. Well, one day I was singing without the piano and he got up on the bench and put his paws on the keys! I guess he was going to accompany me!

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    1. That's a smart dog you had there! Don't you wish you had a video of that?

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  25. One more Chip the crazy dog story! One morning I was in the kitchen and noticed that the George Foreman grill I had left on the counter, was clean and I knew I had left it over night dirty . I knew the kids wouldn't have cleaned it for me, no chance of that. A few days later I found out that Chip had jumped up on a chair, up on the counter and followed it over to the sink area where he started licking that thing clean as a whistle. This from our little 10 lb poodle-- such bad manners he had!

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    1. That one was talented! Keep telling us stories. I enjoy reading them.

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  26. I remember this story of your dogs and the turtle. :-) I've got a funny cat story for you. Years ago, we had a cat named Tikka. Phil was her favorite person in our family. One day, Phil and I were play-fighting and acting silly. I was kneeling by his bed while he was lying on the bed and I was tickling him. Tikka heard him shrieking (with laughter) but obviously she thought I was hurting him. She jumped on my from behind and bit me right in the butt!!

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    1. Well, I guess she told you who was boss!

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  27. well this is un-related to funny pet stories, but had to tell you I tried out your recipe for BEEF AND NOODLES for our supper last night.........and it was DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!!!! loved it! I served it up with homemade buttermilk biscuits and it was great! Highly reccomend! Thanks!

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    1. And it's so easy! Just dump the ingredients in, stir and cook. I'm so glad it was a hit.
      Brenda

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  28. I don't have any pets (unless you count kids!) but I loved reading this. That turtle is probably breathing a sigh of relief!

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    1. I imagine so. These dogs could drive anyone crazy once they start yapping.
      Brenda

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  29. That happened to us before except the turtle was four times that size. Thankfully, I like tortoises. The people that live below us have a permit to house desert tortoises and they used to get in. But when we built our pool, they got worried the tortoises would get through and drown, so they put fence everywhere. Kinda of sad not to see the guys. I am so happy your tortoise got out. That must have been stressful for all involved!

    Jenni

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    1. Yeah, probably most of all the tortoise!

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  30. I could write a book, our first 2 dogs were a dachshund, Ginger, and her hated/loved sister, Muffie, a Laso Apso, with a bad overbite. The 2 girls were food hounds. They could push chairs up to the counter, eat food left to thaw, get the cover off a kettle and open the frig door on our mini soda-bar frig. For years I made a cake a month for a senior group. 2 months in a row I came in the kitchen to see that 'someone' had jumped up and taken a chunk out of the layer cake! You might ask how I could be so careless? I did learn to shut the dogs in the laundry room when food was available. The funniest story was a Thanksgiving afternoon when hubby and I went to the movies with daughter and a boy friend. The whole way home hubby is dreaming about a turkey sandwich....we walk up the stairs from the garage and were greeted with the sight of the turkey carcass lying in the hallway! Hubby swore badly and said 'why would you put the turkey in the bar frig?' Really???? Boyfriend puts his head in his hands and daughter and I convulsed in laughter!

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  31. We have two pit bulls - Nina and Candy - and two rescued cats Gertie and Lucy. At 6:30 every night my husband announces "it's Tasty Cake time" and the two dogs come running. In the last few months the youngest cat Lucy also comes running so now he has to take a bit of frosting off the cake and put it down for Lucy. They all sit together and enjoy their treat.

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  32. This brings back so many memories...like the one when our Bichon, Bubbles, was a puppy. Up until she was about a year old, she would high tail it out of the house every time the door would open and run all over the neighborhood. I would have to chase her until she got so tired she couldn't run anymore. Usually I had a bed sheet and would throw it over her when she stopped to catch her breath. One day she pulled her usual stunts when the house was being worked on and I ended up recruiting 4 grown men to help me catch this little 5 lb puppy. Took us a while and it must have been quite a site to see all if us running around the neighborhood. It was hysterical to see her with her tongue hanging out the side of her face. Thank goodness, she eventually grew out of it and became quite the lazy pooch!

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    1. I wish mine would become lazy pooches. Every chance mine get, out the door they go and I have to chase them. And they're nearly 8 years old! That must have been quite a site. Don't you wish you had a video?

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  33. When my son was 13 we got a Giant Schnauzer for him. His name was Shadow. He turned out to be MY baby. For some reason, he loved to hear me sing "Baby, my sweet baby". He would come loping, put his paws on my shoulders and rest his chin on the top of my head and we would dance. I am 5'7", so you know how large Shad grew. We lost him to testicular cancer when he was 10, but I will never forget that a "man" loved to hear me sing and danced with me.

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    1. Oh, I don't know whether to smile or cry! What a wonderful story. Really tugs at the heartstrings. Do you know that I've never danced? I know, weird.

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  34. Laughing so hard at these cute stories! Pets really are hilarious aren't they. And laughing is so good for the soul :)

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    1. I always told my daughters, I was the one that taught you to laugh. Their dad was the absent minded professor with so much in his head he was lost in his thoughts. We would laugh till we cried. I miss those days.

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  35. I would have just picked it up and put it outside. I love reading all of these pet stories. Animals are so funny. xo Laura

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    1. Animals and children. Children say the darndest things. And animals give us such wonderful memories.

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  36. I wonder what would have happened if you'd slipped the side of a small box or container under the turtle to pick him up? Would the dogs have continued looking for him along the fence? Trying to think of a way for you to capture the turtle and stay safely on your feet...

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    1. There's no way I would have been able to get those dogs inside while I was doing this. They are ferocious when they get fixated on something. That's why I didn't even try to pick it up. Abi can jump nearly 6 feet. Me and the turtle would have both been on the ground!

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  37. When my son was six we moved to SC and into a subdivision and sure enough one evening my son brought a Labbish pup home about 5 months old. This dog turned out to be THE dog of my son's young life. We named him Scout since he scouted out a home. He slept in my son's room by his bed every night and when my son left the house Scout was right behind him. When I needed to find my son I would look for his bike and trusty Scout would be sitting right next yo it. Scout turned out to be the best gift SC gave to us.This black puppy loved my son and was his best buddy till the day he passed He'll always hold a special place in our hearts. Someone else's cast off became our treasure.

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    1. What a wonderful gift. Isn't it a something how these animals become such a part of a son or daughter's childhood? And thus in their adult memories.

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  38. Ah, those pupsters and their animal antics! I can just see you, flurrying around trying to think fast to come up with a quick and effective solution, (as you are such a problem solver), while Charlie and Abby are barking at the turtle and probably trying to get some team work going between themselves, too!

    Poppy

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    1. Oh, once they get going, there's no distracting them!

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  39. The youngest one of our dogs now, who is Rascal, lives up to his name. He is a Border Collie, a head dog. We have always had heelers. A heeler moves cows from the back, a head dog circles the cows and stops them, and holds them until you want them to move. Rascal is really smart, maybe the smartest we have ever had, and we have had a couple of exceptional cow dogs. However, we aren't using him as much as would be good for him. He will try to head anything, pickups, lawn mowers, horses, anything that moves. A flash light gets him so excited he will run into things chasing the light. He also chases shadows of birds and airplanes. But, he is the biggest dork of a dog I have ever seen. He is afraid of rugs, or sheets on the line. A stick on the ground will make him jump 3 feet in the air. Our old dog, who tries to bite every adult that comes around, loves little kids, but Rascal is scared to death of kids. He will hide in the bushes and watch to make sure they don't come to close. Every one of our dogs has been totally different in personality, even dogs of the same bloodlines. Even though ours are working dogs, and we couldn't do our job without them, they have all been part of our family.

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    1. That stick on the ground bit really made me laugh! Charlie is of course terrified of flies...

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  40. I have to tell you one more about my Little Rascal kitty...this was after he was grown a bit..one day we had family over for a cookout and Rascal decided it would be fun to go into to the woods beside our house and carry snakes out and bring them to the party and put them on the ground by the grill..this led to much screaming or laughing from various children and adults..not to mention some running in the opposite direction..Luckily they were just harmless Garter Snakes..He was certainly the life of that party..lol

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    1. What an entertainer! He probably thought you would admire them.

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  41. We had a cat named Leo that answered the phone!

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    1. Oh my! How did Leo answer the phone, Amy?

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  42. Oh my gosh! I'm afraid of turtles! My cat knows how to open the shutters and our bedroom doors during the night. It gets kinda spooky!

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    1. That is sort of spooky. I was really afraid to try to pick up that turtle. Don't want to pick up frogs either.

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I always enjoy reading your comments and having you join the conversation here at Cozy Little House. It is like having a gathering of friends sitting in my cozy apartment. Enjoying coffee and dessert, chatting and having a good time. I appreciate each and every one of you!

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