Java Talk: Has Your Child Been Bullied?



The Death Of Dylan Stewart


Parents of a 12-year-old boy who hanged himself have posted heartbreaking images of their son dying in hospital to shame his bullies.

The youngster was found unconscious in his bedroom in Telford, Shropshire, with a ligature wrapped around his neck..

His mother said that Dylan had been "outgoing" before starting at the school, adding: "He was a beautiful boy, he was so loving and we miss him every day."

"He lived for laughing. He was always laughing with me and the family."

Dylan Stewart grew depressed after being picked on by children at school who battered him at a bus stop, an inquest heard.

His mother Amanda, 39, said: “We want them to see what they have done. Bullies need to know the impact.”

The inquest heard Dylan was a model pupil at Lakeside Academy in Telford, which says it has a "rigorous anti-bullying policy." 

Despite his family believing that bullying was a contributing factor to Dylan's death, teachers told the hearing there was no allegation he was being bullied. 

His devastated mother and father claimed Dylan had been persistently picked-on at Lakeside Academy School after he started attending there in January of this year. 

Dylan, who named his tormentor to his parents, even told his mother cops had investigated the main bully’s friend, not the perpetrator himself.


Dylan Stewart in his hospital bed prior to his death.

She added that Dylan was physically attacked on numerous occasions by youths who also branded him “Downey” – a reference to Downs Syndrome, which he did not have.

Now, in a message to the bullies who “made his life hell” Amanda has released hard-hitting images of Dylan unconscious in his hospital bed in the days after she found him hanged. He died on  April 22.

Amanda, who runs a hairdressing business, but is currently off sick after suffering a stroke, said she hoped the photograph would deter bullies in the future.

She said: “If it helps save one other child then we’ve achieved something. I don’t want other parents to suffer like he have.

"No parents should have to bury their own child, nothing can bring Dylan back - but we hope this sends a strong message."


There have been quite a few children/teen's deaths directly attributed to bullying. Children from the age of six up.

You might think children don't think of suicide, or suffer depression, but you would be wrong. There is much debate over whether the youngest of children actually understand the concept of death. That they will never come back. That their death was accidental.

But if a noose is found around a child's neck, and they are no longer breathing, I think you can do away with any notion that that death was accidental.


***

Bullying alone usually won't drive adolescents to suicide, said Scott Poland, a nationally recognized expert on bullying and suicide prevention. But it can be the last straw to push them over the edge. By the time they decide to end their lives, most youth have endured any number of risk factors — family conflicts, extreme poverty, significant loss, mental illness, exposure to previous suicides or a family history of suicides.


***

When I was in grade school, I remember a girl, much bigger and a year older, who would lay in wait for me to get out of school and be on my way home, which was quite a little walk. 

She would bully me and steal candy if I had any. I remember the fear I felt, how my heart would pound, when I saw her waiting for me. And knew I had to pass by her to stay on the path home.

However, back then you didn't see what we're seeing today. With Facebook and all manner of social media, a child can't really escape the torture. For it is coming at him/her from all directions. And it doesn't stop once they are safely home. 

Has your child or grandchild been bullied at school? Were you bullied at school? Or do you personally know of a child who has been bullied? 

Please add your thoughts to this most serious of conversations, whether you know of anyone who has been bullied or not. What more do you think the schools should be doing? What about social media? What kind of punishment do you think is appropriate for child/teen bullies? What more can parents do to protect their child?

This is something that we simply cannot ignore, thinking it won't happen in your own family. It could and it might.








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52 comments

  1. As a young kid, I was 'picked' on a bit having red hair and freckles but not seriously bullied as in being afraid. I know that in either her freshman or sophomore year one of my nieces was having a hard time and so for a year my sis had her set up for schooling at home, then she went back and it was okay / better.

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    1. I apologize to you all. I put this post up and immediately had to head out to the new psych doctor. The other place stopped taking my BCBS. Listened to troubled screaming children in the waiting room till I thought I'd go nuts. But hey, guess I was in the right place. Home now!

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  2. As a mother of a 13 yr old boy, those pictures are difficult to look at. I feel so bad for the family. What a tragedy! I'm glad that schools have brought awareness to bullying (which didn't exist when I was in school), but unfortunately, it still goes on. It's heartbreaking to think that a child would rather die than live with being bullied every day. More needs to be done. I think it's important that parents have close communication with their children and take it one step further of getting in touch with those that are causing harm to their kids. There is nothing stronger than a mother's love for her kids. She will do anything to protect them! I think it's bad when the parents didn't even know it was going on because the child was shamed by it and didn't speak up. We often ask our son how he's treated at school and try to keep the line of communication open in hopes that he'll be honest with us and we won't have a tragedy like this of our own.

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    1. Then you're doing all you can. Remember being that age and peer pressure was everything? I do. Then a child is beginning adolescence when all those hormones are kicking in. And the school doesn't want a tainted record, so "it didn't happen." And another child, dead. I know the photos are heart-wrenching. And I at first wasn't going to use them. But I decided maybe it's better to actually see this innocent little face who couldn't take the torment any more.

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  3. This is beyond sad and such a tragedy. My heart goes out to the family.. I have read many articles and seen many documentories about Bullying within animal packs~! I realize humans think they are so much higher on the Earthy Entity scale, but the photos and story you posted , clearly tells in explicit terms that we are NOT..
    No illness, no animal attack comes close to what we do to each other on a minute to minute basis. Bullying has a long term detrimental effect on a person's life .
    I am in hopes this young man's soul has found the Peace, his earthly existance did not offer.
    If only we would, Love One Another..

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    1. Yes Sonny, if only we would love one another. I was never a bully. I was too afraid of other children. I was just too afraid period, as I imagine you were. His photo just breaks my heart, but I do think the bullies should be made to stare at those photos. They need to see what they did. I don't care if they're children or not.

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  4. This is such a tragedy! My oldest was bullied and felt fear for her life many times. She did not share this with me until much later in her life. I did know something was going on and tried to find out what. She did consider ending it all but thank goodness she didn't. She is grown now and a wonderful example that being 'different' is OK. I pray my Grandson does not face any of this, but we are all more aware now.

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    1. Awareness is our only strength here. We cannot stop the bullies. They will find a way to torment other children. But as long as we are aware, that's the first step. I will also be writing a post on what to look for in terms of signs a child might be displaying that means he/she is likely being bullied.

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  5. So sad. Bullies are cowards, they only pick on the nice kids that won't stand up for themselves in a mean way. His school's response is what I would have expected. School officials talk a good game, but when it comes time to act, they do nothing. The bully gets away with his bad behavior, but when the one getting bullied retaliates, he gets in trouble. It happened to both my girls. They survived. ,thankfully, and are strong successful women. When my girls were in school it wasn't allowed to home school, unless you met some strict guidelines. Now, with not only bullying at school, but social media, I think I would home school. The girl who got expelled last week for saying "Bless you" to a classmate, because it was "Godly talk", is an example of the school being the bully. If I were her parents, there is no way I would send my child back to that "ungodly" school.

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    1. You couldn't home school in my day either, not that I knew of anyway. You're right. If they retaliate, then they're in trouble. So what is the answer? I think children see parents fighting and ridiculously violent things on TV and maybe they were just flat born that way. Me, I only blog and use Pinterest. I wish they'd somehow stop Facebook for allowing anyone under the age of 18. What is their age allowed to use Facebook anyway?

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  6. This is gut wrenching. This is why I like the idea of home schooling. I am not opposed to it at all if parents can afford to do it. There are too many people to blame, especially the school employees. Meaning all the teachers, all the hall monitors, administrators, etc...all of them. You never turn a blind eye to any type of cruelty, whether it be verbal or physical. It baffles me why this continues to be the trend. AND I BLAME SOCIAL MEDIA. Children under 14 or 15 should not be exposed to it. Meaning having freedom of the internet in their hands 24/7. But hey, who I am but a childless 48 year old who knows nothing, because she has never had any children of her own. I get that alot.

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    1. And I'm totally with you, Laura. I HATE the social media where much of the bullying is transpiring. People don't like to get involved in any family altercation. But I would think someone would step in when it's a child. You're a very smart childless 48 year old, and you know a lot. I would have a quick comeback when people say that if I were you. (Like maybe, and now you know why. Look at this crazy scary world we live in today.)

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  7. Brenda, This breaks my heart. I was bullied for being poor...did anyone care that I was smart or nice? As I grew older I'd throw rocks and run from anyone taunting me. LOL. That did not hurt me as badly as my own child being picked on. I called the schools, reported to the principle. I called their parents too. It was not as bad at times and horrid at others. Some of the children did stop being mean. My daughter was a beautiful girl...she was nice and kind. She was just born with her fingers not full developed on her left hand.. We never raised her to think she was different in any way. So this all came after she started school. She works now like anyone else. True there are things that she may not be able to do but she gives it her best. I am proud of her. xoxo,Susie

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    1. And I am proud of you, Susie, for holding on and enduring such senseless cruelty, and for raising your child to understand that she's okay. Everyone is different. Some are just mean while others are kind. I was poor too. At 13 I was pretty much on my own. No one to buy me shoes or clothes. I just got to where I didn't go to school. I couldn't retain what I learned anyway. I just gave up.

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  8. This just breaks my heart. My son is going to be 14 next month and I just cannot even imagine the pain of losing him. There was a video being shared on FB yesterday by an aunt whose nephew got attacked by a group on the school bus--someone videoed the attack and the parents found it and thankfully downloaded it and saved it as it got deleted soon after. The bus driver did NOTHING! She/He didn't even slow the bus down. The poor boy had to get off the bus 14 miles away from home to get away from the attackers. He went into a store and called his parents. It was appalling! The school and bus driver tried to deny that anything had happened--said he just got off the bus for no apparent reason--until the parents told the school that they had video. Something has got to be done. Unfortunately, I am not sure what. They give talks at school, videos are shared, stories are told, and people/young people feel bad--but not the ones who are doing the bullying. I am not sure if they are even capable of feeling badly about their behavior. It seems to me that something integral to being a human being is just missing from these people's makeup.

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    1. And your last sentence could be right. I think some people are just born without empathy. They are not capable of feelings. And too, the bullies could be mentally ill and so they need help as well. I don't get it, because I don't think this went on, certainly not to this extent, when my kids were young. But of course there was no social media. Someone could call someone to bully them. But then you could just block that number. Now they can do it behind closed doors, in the darkness, and I imagine the bullies feel even more removed from their victim because they are not face to face. So tragic.

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    1. Thanks for bringing that to the discussion, Sonny.. Because just as the bullying expert said other factors come into play before suicide, I think many things come into play before someone starts bullying. They have to look deeper. I don't think they can win this war if they don't.

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  10. Just came back to add:::

    Many times it makes me wonder what might be happening or has happened to the Bullies to cause that behavior.

    I did read a book or perhaps a magazine article about the biggest bully in the school, being beat around by his dad on a daily basis..:( he was acting out on others and secretly hoped they'd threaten him with juvenile hall so someone would see his bruises and scars. He was way to afraid of his Dad to just go to anyone and tell on him , the dad was a deacon at their church~!! which added the fear that the boy would'nt be believed and the secret beatings would become more frequent and more violent...

    There was a boy at my middle school who acted out constantly and got into fights all the time.. come to find out he was being raped by his grand dad weekly.. grrrrrrrrrrr
    not taking up for bullies but when counselors do come across them, the first place to look is ,at THEIR lives and home situations... kwim?

    Not always but many times there is a root cause to this behavior that people overlook... It could also be a chemical issue in the childs brain or a physical issue that drives bad behavior ... You just never know someone elses pain and I am certain that when a Part of my own manic behavior is in full swing - some would think of me as cruel or at the least cold.... its never intentional I assure you.. just sayin:)
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  11. That precious young face! My heart goes out to this family. What kind of parents raise such cold, hard hearted people ? I realize, sometimes the best us parents can do, they can still turn out bad, but surely not this young. I cannot imagine raising a child that was partly responsible for causing such herendous pain.

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    1. I'm going to have to do some research on this, but I tend to believe, as I wrote above, that some children are simply born without the capacity to have empathy for others. Which I suppose might put them in a sociopathic category if it continued. We all know that serial killers, for instance, and this is a far cry from that. But serial killers have certain tendencies as children that are often just spot on. Studies have shown that if they exhibit many of the signs early on, they will develop into a psychopath/sociopath. And some before adulthood.

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  12. I was tormented a lot when I was a kid because I was overweight. Back then very few kids were overweight. There were a lot of kids in our neighborhood so I tried to avoid going outside. I became an avid reader and I progressed quickly in my reading skills so I could move on to the adult part of the library and keep away from the kids in the children's section.
    I was subjected to name calling, prank phone calls (they would tell me they were going to kill me) and had worms thrown in my hair. Happy to say that the boy who jumped out of the bushes and punched me in the face on my way home from grade school is now in prison for whatever other crimes he went on to commit.
    The earliest I can remember wishing I was dead was about eight years old.
    I am now 46 and I can see how all that has affected me. I suffer from depression and poor self image about my body. I do belong to three craft groups (hiding in a crowd I guess) but outside of our meetings I don't have any friends I socialize with. I don't really interact with anyone else because I have this fear of how people will treat me. I have encountered a few people as an adult who have justified my fear.
    I enjoy reading my favorite blogs every day because it's like socializing with friends. My mom and my husband know the first names of all the bloggers I visit because I mention them so often.
    So thank you Brenda for your lovely blog. I enjoy visiting you every day and reading all the comments. You do a wonderful job of stimulating discussion on such a wide range of subjects!

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    1. Well, you pretty much proved what I said in the comment above: Your bully ended up in prison. So his behavior as a child was likely consistent straight through to adulthood. Cruelty should have dire ramifications. I'm so sorry for what happened to you. And I do know that children, whether they understand intellectually or not, sometimes feel so lost and depressed, they simply want to die. People don't like to accept that. It makes them feel very uncomfortable. But nonetheless, I believe it is true.

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  13. When I look at these pictures of Dylan, my heart breaks for his family and for what he must have endured in his young life. So very sad.
    Bullies have a knack for being relentless in their pursuit and they also seem to have a knack for intimidating others to go along with their disgusting behavior. NOBODY deserves to be bullied.
    Brenda, your comment about the terror you felt when the bigger girl lay in wait for you took me right back to sixth grade. I faced that terror every day for weeks. I also faced it in seventh and tenth grades by different girls, one of whom I considered to be my best friend. To this day I don't know why these people chose to treat me this way.
    As adults my sister once asked me how I managed to grow up happy after this and I think it's because once you are out of school you can pick and choose who you spend your days with. I am very slow to make friends now and sometimes I wish I wasn't that way, but I also know it became a defense mechanism for me.
    My son also faced bullying in high school. I had no idea until one day he didn't want to go to school and I knew he wasn't sick. After a bit of prodding he finally shared a glimpse of what he was dealing with. He didn't want me to talk to the teacher or principal at school. I let him stay home for a few days and it eventually worked itself out.
    I am concerned for children now with the social media aspect coming into play. To me this seems like another avenue for these cowards to spread their meanness under the veil of anonymity.

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  14. It is certainly another avenue, and I wish they'd figure out a way to shut this avenue down. It is lethal and it is toxic to vulnerable children when it is so easy for bullies to get online and do their ugly thing.

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  15. I haven't had to deal with bullying personally, but I live in the town where an autistic teen was beaten. It is senseless, just senseless.

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  16. This is such a difficult topic to discuss but it NEEDS to be addressed. I teach junior high kids and it is a tough age--both to live through as a kid and to deal with as a teacher. I work hard to build relationships with my students so they can trust me to talk about difficult things they are going through. Some of the issues are heartbreaking, and I find myself wishing I didn't have to hear these horrors, but then I realize they need someone they can talk to and who can be their advocate.

    Today, was a day I live for as a teacher. I have lunch duty in the cafeteria during 7th grade lunch. As it has been since the dawn of time, we have the various social groups that inhabit any public school. This year, we have a special needs boy named Joe. He is very friendly and outgoing, but he has the social and academic reasoning of a young child. Usually he sits at a table with friends in his class, but today for whatever reason, he chose to sit at the "popular" kids' table.

    I saw him set his tray down at their table, and I scrambled over there so they wouldn't be mean to him. To my surprise, they welcomed him and told him to sit down. As I walked in close proximity, I was delighted to see them politely converse with him and help him cut his food. When the star football player helped him open his milk and pour salad dressing, I walked away with tears in my eyes. They get it. Unlike previous "popular" clichés, they understand what it means to be kind and respectful to everyone. Somewhere someone is doing their job. People are learning that it isn't "cool" to be mean. Perhaps there's hope yet.

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    1. Oops! I meant "popular" cliques...but they can be cliché! Ha! It's been a long day...

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    2. Great story, Mimi. Good to read a post from a fellow junior high teacher. No students for me until next week. Sadly, I have already heard through the grapevine that a good number of our incoming 7th graders(no specific names of course) have a reputation for being "mean" to each other.
      I do believe that there is more to the story for the bully and the victim. This isn't making excuses for the behavior. There is a reason for every behavior.
      Brenda- thanks for another great and very important discussion.

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    3. Oh my! What a beautiful story! Amid all the heartbreak, there are certainly beacons of hope. And children that indeed have empathy for their peers. Bless you for sharing this positive story!

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    4. Sylvia, sounds like you are going to have your hands full. But as a teacher, you ALWAYS have your hands full. I have the utmost respect for teachers. I absolutely could not do your job. And you are not paid what you should be. Yes, there must be a story for every bully and every victim. Thanks for noting that.

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  17. Those poor parents. This is so tragic!

    I have had several friends take their own lives, and two of them referred back to elementary school incidents when they were bullied. Actually, one was picked on in high school. Recently a young teen jumped from the top of a silo in Florida after being bullied at school and on Facebook, and the sherif of that county arrested the perpetrators!

    I haven't heard of another incident in that town since. He means business, and I say good for him!

    Sorry for any typos Brenda. I am typing in the dark.

    Big hugs your way.

    xo

    Sheila

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    1. I know you have had more than our fair share of losing those you love, Sheila. I am so glad the perpetrators taunting this boy were arrested. Do they now go to a juvenile judge? At least they will see that there are ramifications to their actions.

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  18. My 9 year old granddaughter is going through something with a girl she was friends with most of last year. Now this girl is calling her names and dragging other girls into it with pointing, whispering and laughing. She is so upset. I'm trying to explain to her to ignore this girl as she's only trying to get her upset. I told her to try her hardest to walk away and not pay attention to what she's saying or doing and that eventually she will stop. I also told her though that under no uncertain terms that if anyone puts a finger on her that she is to go to a teacher or the office and let an adult know immediately!! NO ONE has a right to touch anyone else!! She asked me if it was ok to hit/push/pinch etc. back and I told her no! It's very hard to explain to a child that two wrongs don't make a right.

    You have to always let your children/grandchildren know that they can come and talk to you about ANYTHING! I have always done that with my children and I extend that to my grandchildren. All of my grands are now products of marriages that have not worked. You would be surprised how much you can learn about the childrens feelings just by being quiet and listening to them at play or even singing. My granddaughter would make up songs and sing about how she felt.

    My heart so goes out to family that have lost this little boy to the meaness of others and all the families that have been touched by the mean actions of others....

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    1. I remember making up songs. Sometimes I still do when I'm busy and the dogs are getting antsy.

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  19. My daughter tells of mentally challenged children in middle school, as they lined the hall to go to lunch, being horribly bullied by other students. Being my daughter, she of course ripped into the tormentors. I eventually pulled the kids out to homeschool them after my son was mistreated at two different schools by two different teachers ... I guess because we later learned he has ADHD. Not all families have the ability to homeschool (both parents working is often a necessity) but when I hear stories like this, I so wish that was an option for everyone. God bless his family.

    Mary

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    1. I'm sure you're quite busy these days. Thanks for stopping by. Hard to take that the teachers were mean to him.

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  20. Sometimes I just want to take my family and go live on a deserted island! I cannot imagine the pain those parents are feeling. I hope the parents of the bullies are punished as well, along with the school employees. Our daughter, a kind, sweet, quiet, loving girl was bullied in a school because she was Anglo. Our son had to go to a charter school for awhile because the public school had kicked him out. He was a handful and had done some small things that in my day would have been solved with a paddling but the school didn't want a black mark and so best way to handle those that didn't comply, kick them out. Rachel wanted to go the school Ryan was going to and I knew it was going to be a tough crowd for her. We tried to talk her out of it but she just thought it would be fun to be in a small school. By Oct. of that school year, she came home crying. She was being bullied. She never went back. Rachel was even bullied in church! We changed schools several times. She had a form of Dyslexia. Finally, we found a school that took transfers and she did very well there and graduated. The school was a an old-fashioned kind of school and reminded me a lot of the school I went to as a teenager. I don't know how they managed to get by with their "old-school" thinking but thankfully they did.

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    1. I just cannot imagine what it is like in schools these days. Do the kids take their cell phones in to class?

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  21. I know one very well...me. I was bullied by many because my father was a policeman. Tormented by boys and girls. I had had it one day and turned in two girls to the principal's office for tugging on my braid (I had hair to my low back). I was sitting on the bus and they were two seats behind me. They grabbed my braid so hard it made my neck hurt. They were suspended for a week and that pretty much stopped the bullying. About 20 years later I ran into them one time..this time I was wearing the badge and gun...and her chin fell to the floor. I didn't have to say anything. Priceless.

    My heart breaks for those who are bullied. Maybe this is why I always stick up for the underdogs.

    These images are so sad, Brenda. I feel the parents' anguish all too well.

    xx

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    1. That is indeed priceless! Yes, I'm heartbroken for this family. I hope the parents of the bullies are heartbroken too.

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  22. Love the badge and gun story. My daughter and I once ran into one of her bullies and her mother after they were out of school The mother and I had worked at settling what was wrong between the girls, but it had never worked. My daughter is very tall, and of an imposing figure. The other girl was much shorter, and was pregnant at the time, and looked like hell. I felt sorry for her that day. My girl smiled said hello, stood up to her full height, and looked down her nose at the little bully, the girl just seemed to fold into herself. A few years later, the girl got in touch with my daughter on Facebook, and apologized, they seemed to have settled whatever was wrong.

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    1. Well, that's great that things were finally rectified.

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  23. I think the question is "Are you raising a bully or bullies?"

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  24. My heart goes out to this family . I was bullied all throughout school, beaten, set up to be beaten by kids claiming to want to be my friend , then setting me up after school to be beaten by gangs while they stood by and laughed. My hair was pulled, My books stolen , my clothing ridiculed daily. I was held down while my hair was cut, my face was punched weekly. This did not stop after grade school, it went on throughout grade, middle and high school. The bullies would spread false rumors and I would walk in a classroom where no one would let me sit down, ,and most never spoke to me as they believed the rumors. They spread rumors I was a whore when I was working after school to help my Mom and never even had time to date. I was home every night or at work yet others believed the rumors. They just get more vicious in high school and more devious in how they ruin your life. In high school 2 girls set me up for a horrible event from which I will never recover. I could have easier killed myself but I come from a strong family where you bear up and deal with your problems. My Mom was a grieving widow with 3 kids and a mortgage, 3 jobs and depressed. I could not talk to her about anything and never did. I could not add to her problems. There was nothing to be done about any of it when I was in school. When I was growing up no one cared and there were zero standards for dealing with this. Today I found similar bullying on the job. You see these psychopathic children grow up to be in the workplace where they continue their particular brand of torture. I am a anti- bullying advocate today and help spread the word about anti-bullying to save others from a similar fate. I suffered terribly all through school, in all grades. it was the cross I had to bear for living in poverty, not having the right clothes, being pretty and naturally blond. Not fitting in is death for a kid. So I bore up under it. I escaped by getting straight A's and graduating a year early. Then I moved away. I found when I got to college I did not want friends and could not trust anyone. I would rather be alone then risk it. Then my Brother married a spawn of Satan, who was another bully I had to endure for 24 years of torture, insults and false rumors about me that she delighted in. I worked in my city for 30 years as a upstanding individual and she destroyed my reputation in a instant. People are prone to believe rumors . She attempted to ruin my life until the day he died. So my trust become non-existent. . Today I trust no one and only allow a select few within my personal circle. I have found that it has lifelong effects. I wake up in cold sweats and some nights do not sleep at all remembering it all. Today bullying is so commonplace in the news it breaks my heart for these poor children having to deal with it online. I think the kids that do it are psychopathic and must be held accountable. They are destroying lives and that must not be allowed to continue. This poor child, I know just how he felt. Like you will never feel right again so why go on living? its also a horrible embarrassment for kids to face with their families. I think that is why many choose suicide. We all need to help the anti-bullying crusade as much as we can.

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    1. You're absolutely right. And I'm so very sorry for what happened to you! Did the school do nothing? I bet it is an awful embarrassment for kids and that's why they don't tell their parents. I hadn't even thought of that. You've had more than your fair share of torment and pain.

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  25. How tragic this is for the family, having lost a daughter myself I can relate to the pain involved. We, as parents, as supposed to "protect" our children. As far as being bullied, I was, but not by others but by my own father. He was a nasty bully, loved to find your weak spot, and then tortured you with it. His words and hands cut wounds so deep. I've often said, "some wounds are just too deep". I wonder how he could live with himself, he just got meaner with each passing year. I can not say I hated him.

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    1. Oh Cathy, my heart just breaks for you. Go ahead and hate him if you need to. Maybe it would be easier to bear.

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  26. I was bullied through grade school, middle school and high school..It was all a nightmare and still is sometimes..It has affected my whole life..but the worst thing was seeing it all happen again to my son..grade school, middle school and high school..In high school I released him from that hell..he took his GED and passed the first time with barely any studying..but we both continue to have problems because of it..

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  27. Such heartbreaking photos that truly brings home the tragedy of bullying.

    In grade school I was bullied in a manor similar to yours, I was in fourth grade and 3 sixth graders would wait for me after school. They would use any excuse to justify their behavior, i.e., their friend wanted to 'go steady' with me and they told me if I didn't accept his ID bracelet they would beat me up. I honestly can't remember how long this went on. Felt like months, maybe even a year or more. My sister, who was a year older than they were, eventually put a stop to it. When I read your words I remembered all too well the fear I felt walking home each day.

    Bullies have issues. Sometimes they get over it, especially the ones that are going along with it, rather than the ones who are the perpetrators. But the ones that are relentless and brutal I believe move on to other forms of violent or anti social behavior as adults.

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  28. Once again I am amazed when you bring up these heartbreaking subjects..how many of us have lived through the same situations Brenda..I do think that in order to stop it we need to get to the source of what is causing children to do this to other children..If they are being abused at home and this is their way of coping with it then they need removed from that environment..the entire family needs worked with to find a way to heal the wounds and start over again..then maybe these children won't feel the need to bully or make other kids hurt because they are hurting so badly themselves..Our country needs to invest more in programs for making family units work..they need to invest more in Human Services in order to attract more good Human Service workers..In order to make this country strong we need to start with the basics such as the family..NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO BE AFRAID TO GO TO SCHOOL..Just a thought Brenda..

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