Last night I finished the book I was reading by Jane Green. It proved our vulnerabilities and how naive we can sometimes be.
That what we think would never happen to us, sometimes does.
Two women on opposite coasts, married to the same man, unbeknownst to them. He is handsome, successful and charming. (Watch out for those charming ones. Remember Ted Bundy was charming.)
As you read about these two very different women, you may wonder how they were fooled.
But the fact of the matter is, we can all be fooled.
Men like this (or women, if that is the case) are basically sociopaths. They don't feel guilt.
It came to pass that these women soon realized that everything they had, was on paper. He took off and left them with creditors and sheriffs coming in to take over their homes to foreclosure, and tow trucks showing up to haul their vehicles away for non-payment.
What these very bright women shared, was the fact that they really knew nothing about their finances. He made sure of that. He told them not to worry, he was taking care of them.
Except he wasn't.
When the wife on the East coast got up the nerve to finally go to his company headquarters to check things out, she found that the business was no longer there. But the doorman gave her an address.
Which led her to the seedier side of NYC, a place she'd never been in her life. Dressed in expensive jewelry and designer clothing, she walked through areas she was totally unaware of. And as she reached each block toward her destination, it was somehow worse than the one before.
Her fear mounted as she drew closer to the address on paper.
The office was there, but it was clear no one had worked there in a long time. Layers of dust had settled over everything. It looked like everyone who worked there had just walked out one day, and left it just as it was.
It was then that the full circumstances of her plight really hit her. He had lied about everything.
What was she to tell her three three teenage children?
She really didn't have to worry much about that, because soon he was picked up by the police in California, and was sitting in jail facing trial for his crimes. For the money he had stolen from businesses that trusted him.
The media sat in front of her home and accosted anyone who came out, asking them if they knew what this man had done. How could they have been fooled?
For all intents and purposes, he was a common thief. Just on a grand scale.
The same thing happened to the woman and her daughter on the opposite coast. She did not live in the lap of luxury that the woman in NYC was accustomed to. She was very different, more of a creative sort. Money and material possessions were not as important to her.
But when the bank accounts are closed down and you can't even pay your bills, none of that matters.
Both of these women would have sworn this would never happen to them. They knew their husband and had faith in him.
But that is where women sometimes get blinded by emotion and go off the tracks. We are often so sure of the man we love, that we cannot see the markers that should have signaled doubt and set off alarm bells in our head.
So no matter who you are, and how sure you are of the person who shares your bed, you can never ever be too sure. I myself fell prey to that. You can never be totally sure unless you are following them everywhere they go.
We women are raised to be nurturing and trusting. This can sometimes come back and bite us in the butt.
This book should tell us to find out exactly what our financial situation is, even though he may be telling you not to be concerned, that he will take care of you. You need to find out NOW.
You need to see these things, these documents that make up our lives, with your own eyes. And stop looking at life through rose-colored glasses. Sometimes that is our downfall.
That old saying "if it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't" is something we must allow ourselves to look at with the utmost scrutiny.
Because, sadly enough, we are, none of us, immune to lies and misfortune.
Has something like this happened to someone you know?
Charlie's Eye Update
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