Crazy Neighbors & Rent Realities

This morning, I typed a letter to the man who lives behind me, whose name I've learned is Tony, explaining that the dogs he's "apparently hearing" at 3 a.m. barking for hours are not my dogs. 

I have gone around to talk to him in person a number of times, but he's never home.

Volare told me this morning that he goes into the management office all the time and complains there as well as calling security in the middle of the night (or I guess I should say morning.)

I've been told by other neighbors that there are two dogs living directly across from him that bark, and they are bigger dogs. 

But this man has told management he knows for certain it is my pupsters, and that he plans on taping them barking to show them all. 

I don't know if this man is mentally ill, and have no idea why he has targeted me and my dogs. I live a very quiet life and don't bother anyone. I am seldom out to even speak to anyone, except for when I'm walking to the trash dumpster. 

On my way over there, I encountered a woman walking her dog who has lived here for 12 years. We chatted for a bit. She told me that every time it rains, her place has 3 inches of water standing in it. 

I was astounded. She said she has been on management for three months, and all they do is send a company to suck out the water. And now they have told her it is costing them too much to have the company come suck out the water, so she is just stuck. 

Her name is Ramona, and she has epilepsy. She moved here at a time when you could use rent vouchers to help pay your rent. She said the mess has now turned to black mold, and her husband has been in the hospital twice in the past three months. 

She has called the health department, and they tell her it is a health hazard. But still, the cogs of the wheel must turn slowly, because she is still waiting on something to happen. 

She is to the point that she told the corporate office that owns this complex that she is going to call a local news affiliate and tell them her story. 

She said their response was to tell her they will move her to another apartment. However, she has to wait for Section 8, or whatever it is called now, to do all the paperwork. So they are in a waiting game. 

Apparently this is due to a tree planted in a place that is causing problems. She said the roots are coming up through the cement. 

I know the roots here going under the apartment will do the same thing at any time. Because I see them under there, and I know that tree roots grow bigger instead of smaller. So it's going to be a problem here as well, at some point. 

A tree is smack in the middle of the fence that is between me and the man who keeps harassing me. I have been telling them for over a year that the fence is falling over, and that I have stuff stacked there in front of it, but eventually the tree is going to make the fence section fall all the way over. 

I watch the pupsters carefully. For if Charlie sees a cat or squirrel, he will try to scale the falling down fence. And if he ends up in Tony's yard, I don't know what he will do to him. As he seems a bit unbalanced and hates dogs. My goodness, Charlie tells me he is afraid of his Sammy on a leash and he is a poodle.

All this falls on deaf ears. And because they had to put up an electric gate at the entrance this past year, our rent had to go up to pay for it. 

I asked Ramona, who obviously knows more about this town than I do, what the deal is. She says it's the high crime rate in this city. Before they put up the gate, there were hold ups and car bashings. 

Because there is an unsavory element of people living in the complex across the street, they would come over here, before the gate was put up, to do their drug deals. 

So I suppose for all intents and purposes, Tulsans pay high rent because of the high crime rate. Isn't that something? The crime element wreaks havoc on this city, the gangs are in pockets all over the city. And thus to live here, you have to pay high rent to pay for their tearing things up.

I find this all so sad. Ramona and her husband should not have to live with standing water in their carpeted apartment. (Thank goodness I asked for vinyl flooring before I moved in, as they were tearing out the old carpet, and agreed to not put in more carpet.)

The past four years are the only time I've lived in Tulsa. But the majority of my 58 years, I have lived in central Oklahoma. And I know something has changed since I last lived in Oklahoma. The crime rates have sky rocketed. And I don't know why. 

I have tried to make a real home here for the pupsters and me. I am the type to fix things up and make things cozy. Yet I know the majority of the tenants are not that way. At least according to Volare. I know I walk around here and am often surprised at the way people live. 

So much of it is the fault of the owners of this complex. And much of it is due to the negligence of the tenants living here.

So back to this man I'm told is named Tony living behind me. I hope my letter is enough to back him down some. I taped it on his door with enough tape that it couldn't possibly come off, and the door is under a small porch roof. 

Have you had to deal with neighbors that made your life miserable? I'm all ears. Do tell.

Six On Saturday 5/30/15

This week on Six On Saturday...

At Home With Jemma gave tips on "transition" living. They've sold their home and are now living in an apartment for the time being. And are planning to build a new home.

Junk Chic Cottage, who makes everything she decorates look magazine-worthy, has her deck all dolled up for summer.

The Shabby Nest showed her gorgeous living room in a house tour. She bought her home a year ago and moved there with her children.

120 Springs Street redid her mantel with lively summer decor.

D.D.'s Cottage has been celebrating with pretty bouquets. They've finished their home renovation. And now comes the fun part. Moving back in and seeing how everything looks!

Have A Daily Cup Of Mrs. Olson decorated her front porch for Memorial Day. 

Spread the link love!

Here & Gone & Blogging

You know what I find sad? More and more, I click on someone's blog roll. Or just go visit a blogger I recall. And surprisingly it hasn't been updated in six months, a year, two years, etc. 

Or they've said their goodbyes.

Dottie Angel closed her blog. I clicked on her name on someone's sidebar. Only to find that she'd said her farewells. She wrote her last post in March. 

It was titled "The End", and even though I didn't read her on a regular basis, my stomach kind of made a dive like you feel when you're greatly surprised. She'd been blogging for eight years. She'd written a book.

I'm sure life just got in the way for these bloggers. Or it was just way too much commitment. But it's like a loss, you know. You won't have any idea what happened with them after that.

But I guess it's like all friendships.

People come in and out of the revolving door of our lives. Some are there from the get-go and intend to be there till the end. 

We like to think everyone we care about will fit in that category. But deep down, we somehow know most won't.

Except for dogs, our beloved pupsters. They'll be there to lick your face when you cry. 

And they'll be there faithfully guarding your body should you die.

Truly the most loyal and devoted of companions. You never have to worry about them hurting you. Or not loving you.

"A friendship that can cease has never been real" - St. Jerome

Do you believe that? That maybe some friendships were never real to begin with?

Men are one thing. But when a friend leaves you, somehow I kind of find that more devastating. You know? 

Because girlfriend love is held to a higher standard. They share our gender. We bond on a whole different level. They could stand in our shoes.

Judy Holliday said: "Lovers have a right to betray you. Friends don't."

Folks just up and walking out of your life is just plain hard. Damn hard. 

In life, things happen that at the time seem utterly inconceivable. You just don't see it coming. And wham! Someone you thought was there for you, just isn't. 

You thought you knew them, but obviously you didn't.

I guess you never really know the depths of the river. Only how wide it appears.

But back to where I started...

For the bloggers that gave it their best shot, and just had to let it go, I'm sorry you're not part of our community anymore. I'm sorry that we lost you. I hope you're okay and that you're thriving, wherever you are. I wish the best in life for you and yours.

They came, they joined us, but for some reason they had to leave. 

We hope their stay was a good one while it lasted.

And for the "friends" who turn and walk away, I can only hope the next person they take up with doesn't receive the same blow. That punch to the stomach you don't see coming. For I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Have you had a "friend" in life who let you down? 

Frugal Summer Tips

I did my usual every other week grocery shopping yesterday morning. Of course I don't like to go out unless I have more than one errand. I usually wait until I have three.

So first to Cox cable to turn in my DVR that I'd had stored in my closet. They continually said it would raise my bill if I brought it back. 

When I moved to Tulsa, it was part of my "bundle" and the bill would go up if I didn't take it. How stupid is that?

So I figured out a way to lower the bill AND rid myself of the DVR taking up space in my closet.

Then to Walmart. We have Walmart Markets here, which are smaller and only have food. Very easy to navigate. And not as much chaos and children screaming. 

I never allowed my children to scream in stores. One cry of anger over wanting something I said no to, and they wouldn't shush, meant we abandoned the cart and immediately vacated the premises.

This bill, which includes TV, home phone and internet, is almost my highest bill. Except for health insurance.

Then to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription.

This is my TV. Before my divorce, it was our bedroom TV.  

It is never on before 6 p.m., as I work online during the day.  

As you can see, it is weighing heavily on my chest of drawers, and the top drawer won't shut. I've tried to figure out a solution. 

I've stacked books in the center of the top drawer as tight as I could to support it. But they always somehow come loose when I open the drawer.

Got a solution? 

So now let's move on to what we're eating this summer. 

After my post last week on vulvar vestibulitis, and reading all the comments and advice, I am off most processed sugar. My heart is a bit broken, as I dearly love chocolate and sweets. 

And I haven't been drinking my coffee. Yeah, I'm about as with it now as a gopher in a hole with no caffeine consumption. (I totally made up that analogy.)

Got to somehow get this under control if I ever want to wear real clothes and actually sit again. 

I probably get most of my protein from eggs. For supper I might boil a couple of eggs, fix a couple of slices of turkey bacon, and have a piece of toast. I always did like breakfast for supper. 

I like yogurt. I'm sure they add some sugar in there somewhere, but I need the other ingredients in yogurt.

The banana chips will have to please my sweet tooth. And along with my toilet paper order, I ordered some Walmart trail mix along with a toothbrush and some other items. 

I'm not a processed sugar expert, but I'm starting to learn.

Ordering online at Walmart is one of my all-time favorite tips.

The soup. I just love this soup. What I like about this can of soup, by this particular brand, is that it's big. I have half the can one day, and put the other half in the fridge for the next day. 

Good with a sandwich. So for the size and the price, it was the best buy.

Here's where I also get protein. Beans. Particularly black beans. I might make some nachos and dress them up with black beans and veggies. 

The sauerkraut is for when I make a turkey panini sandwich and it is sort of like a Reuben. 

Turkey bacon and sliced turkey in a package. It is about as far as I go in the meat department. I haven't even looked at meat prices in a year. But I'm sure they're over the top.

Moving right along...

We're all gardening right now, so save your egg shells for the garden

And here's another tip with eggs. If you're making a container garden, put one regular uncracked egg in the pot. 

Here's why. The egg will decompose. As it does, it provides the seeds with nourishment. 

Click on the Resource link under the photo to go to the instructions and get the scoop on that.

Another tip: Apparently you can go to the produce aisle and buy scallions, or grow a crop of them yourself, and you're set for life!


Who knew? Not me.

Click on the Source link underneath the photo above for instructions for this great tip.

We all know what a pain in the butt ants can be. If you don't have a huge problem, pour out some cinnamon. Watch the ants as they get to the cinnamon. 

When I do it, they get to the line of cinnamon and turn right back around. Some people have told me it doesn't work for them. 

So if that doesn't work, click on the Source under the photo and read the instructions for another home remedy to rid yourself of ants.

While you've got the cinnamon out, your plants love it as well!

You know the drill. Click on the above Source link.

I hate chemicals, so anything I can use that isn't poison is always music to my ears. Don't you just love it when you can use so many things that are right there in your kitchen?

And if hornets/wasps are your problem...

Click on the Source link and find out some nifty ways to rid yourself of those flying pests.

Okay, we've talked a bit about food, garden tips and how to get rid of nasty critters. What tips do you have to add here for summer?

Java Talk: Society & Single Women Over 40

Today I'm letting a reader choose the topic of our discussion. It's about women who are over 40 and are unmarried. 

Here is her email: I often feel a lack of support/empathy, even from friends, who happen to be married or in long-term relationships. Maybe there are others who find it difficult connecting with women in like situations? It's a feeling of "not fitting in" somehow, or being out of step. Not sure where I belong, so I tend to withdraw into solitude - you know? People can be completely oblivious to the pain you hold within.


According to the US Census:

1. Women by far will marry less than men after a divorce.
2. The less education a person has, the less likely chance of them remarrying. Men, by approximately 2 to 1, are still more likely to remarry than women across educational categories.
3. White women followed by Black women are the least likely to remarry.  Hispanic followed by Asian women have the best chances of remarrying.
4. The older you get the worse it gets.  Women 46-64 have a 19 in 1000 chance of remarrying while women 65 and older only 2 in 1000.  Men are 62% and 143% more likely to remarry than women at these ages, respectively.

Source: National Center for Family & Marriage Research. (2012). Remarriage Rate in the U.S., FP-12-14.


Many people like being married. The stability. The comfort. The traveling together. 

So what are your thoughts? If you're married now and something happened to your husband, would you want to remarry? 

If you're single or divorced now, would you like to remarry? 

Tips On Your Housewarming

When you’re moving into your brand new house, you’ve no doubt got plenty on your mind to worry about before you can even begin to think about having a housewarming party. 

The period of time after moving can sometimes be the most overwhelming with all of the unpacking that needs to be done. 

If this is your first time moving into a new home and throwing a housewarming, you may be doubly overwhelmed. But remember, everyone at your housewarming is looking out for you and wants you to be happy on your move-in. 

Housewarming Etiquette 

If you’ve never thrown a housewarming before, you may not be totally up on the proper procedures and protocols for a housewarming. Here are a few minor things to keep in mind while you are setting up.

Housewarming Dos
  • Definitely greet your guests at the door! This may mean designating tasks to friends and family who are helping you out, but you definitely want to be at the door to thank the guests who are coming to welcome you to your new home.
  • Provide food and drinks, but don’t do anything too over the top. Stick to finger foods, but make sure there is plenty of everything so people can have as much as they want. You can also offer more substantial dishes, but be sure to position lots of trash cans around the house. As people are walking around inspecting your new home, they won’t want to carry their paper plates and cups with them everywhere or accidentally leave them in some room, so make sure they have plenty of places to get rid of trash.
  • Do make sure that the living area is clean and that any unpacked boxes have been stored out of sight. Try to have enough unpacked that your home at least looks inviting and presentable.
  • Do provide both alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks, unless you and your guests do not drink alcohol.
  • Do put on music and provide comfortable sitting areas.
  • If kids are invited to your housewarming, provide an area that is specifically for the kids like the basement or backyard, depending on the weather. Set up a TV with a stack of movies, video games, toys, etc. Maybe hire a babysitter to attend to keep an eye on the kids. Allow the babysitter to put out a tip jar if he or she wants to.
  • Do send out invitations with specific information: time, address, phone number, whether or not kids are allowed, whether or not it is a potluck, whether or not gifts are welcome, etc.
  • Do send thank you cards!
Housewarming Don’ts
  • Don’t put up decorations. This is a party but unlike a Christmas or wedding party, it’s not typical to hang decorations as they will obscure your house, which should be the focal point of the party. You should be excited to show off the newly decorated rooms and hear your guests’ feedback.
  • Don’t go over-the-top on food, drinks, or entertainment. But do decide if you want it to be a potluck in advance and say so on the invitation.
  • Don’t expect gifts.While it is customary to bring a small housewarming gift, it is not considered mandatory, so don’t get disappointed if people don’t bring gifts!
  • Don’t be rude if people show up with children even though they weren’t invited. If you can, find some space where the kids will be comfortable watching a movie while they wait. 

To Have or to Avoid the Registry? 

There is some debate these days about the etiquette of having a gift registry for a housewarming. General consensus says that requesting housewarming gifts from your guests are only appropriate in the following cases:
  • You did not have a formal wedding or you skipped the registry. In this case, people may have wanted to give you gifts anyway and will be excited to finally get to do so.
  • This is really your first time being on your own and you are having a hard time getting together all of your furnishings.
  • You are having a hard time getting everything you need to get for personal or financial reasons. For example, if you’ve recently gone through a divorce, you may have lost some of your furnishings as well as some of your financial security.
  • You request that those who want to give gifts instead make donations to an account to help you buy furnishings.
If you do decide that you want to have a registry, you should be sure to list it on your invitation and to explain the circumstances of your having a registry. 

For example, some people who might find it impolite to have a registry might be more understanding once you explain that you did not have a wedding registry, and so never received many of the basic furnishings many people acquire at that stage.  

Similarly, if you do not want to receive gifts, make it clear on the invitation that those who do want to give gifts can instead make donations to an account you have set up. Whatever you do, you should be certain to show your gratitude for any kind of gifts and absolutely send thank you cards! 

Starting Off on the Right Foot 

Your housewarming is all about starting off right in your new home and neighborhood. Be sure to invite new neighbors and old friends, and don’t be afraid to ask for help! 

There’s nothing like getting together for a party as a community to make you feel nicely welcomed.

Tweak It Tuesday #143

Last week on Tweak It Tuesday...

Living The Gourmet made goat cheese tarts.

So Much Better With Age showed her elegant French-inspired living room.

A Mother's Shadow put together a fruited spinach salad.

Sunny Simple Life showed her city garden planted on a budget.

Junk Chic Cottage upholstered this pretty frilly bench.

Bargain Decorating With Laurie showed this still life vignette.

Whispering Herbs created this lovely tabletop vignette.

Ms Toody Goo Shoes cooked lime-cilantro sweet potatoes.

While I Linger sewed this sweet ruffled purse.

Southern Seazons did some changing up of her kitchen island.

The Bewitchin' Kitchen served up Jerk Chicken.

Must Love Home has her screened-in porch ready for summer.

Butterfly & Bungalow harvested the prettiest peaches from her yard.

Tarnished Royalty redecorated her breakfast nook. Don't you love the brick wall?

My 1929 Charmer set a pretty table with her some of gorgeous dish collection.

Honey & Roses came up with a chopping board hack. Aren't they cute?

Itsy Bits & Pieces brought this bouquet of lilacs in from her yard.

Little Vintage Cottage redid this cute piece of furniture.

White Spray Paint has a pretty patch of zinnias blooming in her yard.

Let's see what you've tweaked this week.