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Brenda has been writing since grade school. She attended journalism school where she majored in professional writing. She loves to decorate, garden, read and spend time with her Yorkies.

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Is It Bad People That Do Bad Things?


I just got back from seeing my three grandchildren. My younger daughter brought Andrew too. 

Boy, they grow fast!
We met at Barnes & Noble, where I buy the children books to read. Hopefully they're reminded of me, that they think of me, when they read them. 

I don't want to be a once-in-a-great-while grandma, but right now my hands are tied.

In other news, this has been a rather interesting week. Seems a guy who lives here, a man about my age, is a cross-dresser. He's married and I know his wife. 

I don't know much about this. So I looked it up on Wikipedia. It said: 

"Psychoanalysts today do not regard cross-dressing by itself as a psychological problem, unless it interferes with a person's life." 


I recall when I was a child, I had a great-aunt who always dressed in men's trousers. Her husband was the town treasurer, so I'm not sure how well that went over. She always drove around with her dogs, and went fishing a lot. She didn't seem to mix much with other women.
 
It seemed strange then, because I didn't know other women who clothed themselves in that way. Many women would not even wear pants. My great-grandmother and grandmother were two of them. They frowned on my wearing them. 
 
Yet now women wear pants all the time and we think nothing of it. 

So really, is that essentially discriminating against men who want to wear women's clothing? 
 
When looking at it like that, it begs the question: What really is wrong with this? It seems an aberration to us. But is it? Should we judge these men? 

I don't think we should judge anyone. We all have our faults and predilections, and I think we just have to become more accepting.


Speaking of embarrassment, I'm so mad I could spit.
 
Israel was here yesterday afternoon. He told me his auto insurance had been cancelled, and there seemed no reason. But that it was with an agent in Texas, and he was planning to go there today because no one would answer the phone in their office. 

I got online and started digging. Then I dug some more.
 
And then I called the national number for this insurance company. And found that Israel and his wife have been paying for car insurance every month for two years, but it never went toward car insurance at any legitimate company. 

This "agent" is not an agent. He never had a legitimate policy. And that woman is long gone with his money. And probably a lot of other peoples'. 

So I had to tell Israel that he did not have an insurance policy. That he had been duped.

Poor Israel just sat there and stared at the floor. I could tell he was embarrassed. 
 
The man on the phone gave me a number for a legitimate agent here in Tulsa, and so I called him, and told him what had happened. Hopefully Israel and his wife will be able to get insurance with him.

Now he'll have to cough up more money just to get his vehicles "legal." And Oklahoma has the highest car insurance in the nation. 

I felt utterly drained when Israel left. I felt so bad for him. 

How could this woman who posed as an insurance agent have looked him in the face, in her supposed office years ago, and made up a policy that is worthless?

Seems to me it would be more of an effort to dupe people into giving you money instead of just getting a job that was on the up and up.

How do people live with themselves? Geez Louise. 
 
I'm not naive. I know they probably don't even have a conscience to begin with. 

Is it possible that there are people who are born with the capacity to simply be deviant? 

Is there some rogue gene that makes them different from the get-go? Or is it when they're growing up that they come to think that this behavior is okay?

I don't know. But it is a shame that people take advantage of those that do not have a good understanding of the English language, and thus are more vulnerable. 

A crying shame.
Cozy Little House
44 Comments
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44 comments:

  1. Wow, that is awful!! So sorry that there are just sorry people among us and they just don't care.

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  2. What a shame this happened. I hope a legal complaint can be made against the woman. Thank goodness that you followed through on checking this for Israel.

    Cross dressing? Wow, I have no educated opinion on that subject so will leave it to others!

    A date at Barnes and Noble with the grandchildren! How delightful, and what a great idea, Brenda. You will always be associated with books in their minds.

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    Replies
    1. Well, but she wasn't with any agency. And I guess he signed the papers. So maybe fraud? But who knows what her real name even is. Yeah this cross dressing thing has me buffaloed. I'm not good in social situations, so I sure hope not to run into him at the dumpster we share. Because he's just behind me and over one. His wife has dyed her hair purple, according to my next door neighbor, and she's the weekend manager here!

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  3. That is very sad. I am just convinced some people are not born with a conscious. In reference to the cross dressing neighbor, it indeed is probably a strange sight to see. But if his wife doesn't mind, and he is not harming anyone, so be it. I don't get it, but I really don't have to and I don't judge it either.

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    Replies
    1. I feel the same way. I'm fairly weird myself. So I don't have any business judging him.

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  4. Oh my word, how sad for Israel. I've never heard of such a scam. That just beats all.

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    1. I can't even imagine how it occurs to them to pull something like this. Progressive told me she probably made enough money in two years scamming people that she's got enough to be long gone.

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  5. Poor guy! You have been such a friend to him! I hope that lady is caught and made to pay heavily for her crime. The money is bad enough, but to take advantage of someone is clearly the worse part. I think some people are just born that way. Some others it is a learned thing. Sure was easy money for her.
    I bet you had a great day with the grands. I am sure they will remember you as they look at their books. But mostly as they remember the great times they had with you. You may not see them often, but they will treasure these memories. Maybe your daughter will see a different side of you then what she thinks of and will in time let you see the kids more.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, had a good day with the grands. Andrew will be two next month. And the older grands just chase after him going one way and then the next way. Now that he's learned to run, there will be no more walking for Andrew!

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  6. How horrible. Yes, lowlife like that walk among us! In my area folks like that are called "sorry." Glad you were able to help! The nature vs nurture question has been with us from the beginning most likely.

    And happy you saw your grandchildren. I believe books are precious gifts! Sheila

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    Replies
    1. That's what they call them here too. And yesterday I had a few other choice words to add to it. Yes, I keep telling my grandchildren that smart people read books, and books make people smarter.

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  7. I am so happy you and the grand-kids got together; yea!!They will grow up before you know it and you are making precious memories. It would have been great if you could have taken some photos and have had one of your daughters take one of you with the children. Then you could have given a copy to them the next time you met. They need photos of Grandma to treasure as they grow up.

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    Replies
    1. Next time I'll ask her to take photos. We can't keep Andrew still long enough to hardly eat anymore.

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  8. Poor Israel - that's terrible, that man just doesn't seem to catch a break!!

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    Replies
    1. I know. Imagine how it would feel to live in a different country, where the culture was different, and try to live and keep up.

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  9. Sometimes good people do 'bad' things unintentionally, but not in this case. Sad to say, but there are truly bad people in the world who take advantage of people who aren't as knowledgeable as they are. Glad you were able to intervene in Israel's case. Also glad you got to see all the grandchildren. Hopefully it will happen more often.

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    1. All yesterday evening, I could see him hanging his head, not understanding. He kept shaking the policy at me, as if to show me he had it. I had to tell him, yes, you have a piece of paper. But I'm sorry, it is worthless.

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  10. How very sad for Israel . I do not know , how people could do such a thing. I hope the Better Buisness will get a hold of this. They need to be jailed for this.. And hopefully made to pay his money back.. There is no telling , how many people they took advantage of?
    Proud you got to spend time with your grandkids. They do grow up so fast.

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    1. They grow like weeds! We can't ever get her. We don't even know if that is her real name. The agent I talked to said this was pretty easy to set up and do. And she's never been with their company, so nothing they can do. I told Israel to keep receipts from now on and put them in a file.

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  11. It may not do any good, but if your state has an insurance commissioner's office and/or a consumer affairs division, suggest to Israel that he should file complaints against that bogus insurance agent with those agencies. Maybe it will help other people avoid being ripped off in the future. And maybe, just maybe, the state will start an investigation into this woman's fraud. File a report with the Better Business Bureau, too.

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    Replies
    1. The woman's "business" was in Texas, and like the Progressive guy told me: You know she's long gone. I asked Israel where his card was that you keep in your vehicle. She'd never given him one. He didn't understand you were supposed to have one. All he had was a "policy" that was fake.

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  12. That makes me so mad for Israel! I do not understand people that can do that to others. So glad you got a little time with your Grands and buying books for them is wonderful. I know how lucky I am to have the hands on relationship with my little ones that I do. I am a very open minded person and wish more people were like that. Everyone is so quick to judge. What is 'normal' and what isn't. I have a close family member that is transgender so I really do understand how judgmental people can be.

    Linda

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    1. I think this guy may be transgendering, because Charlie next door said even when he wears men's clothing, he now has breasts. To each their own. I've sure got my flaws, so I'm not going to be judging him. From having Aspergers, I realize that people are just "different" and different does not have to equal "bad."

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  13. Poor Israel! Thank goodness he has you to help him--and vice versa. If we could all just focus on helping others, the world would be a far better place.

    What a wonderful outing with the grandkids! My kids have such fond memories of going to the bookstore and library when they were little, so I am sure your grandchildren will connect you with these special memories. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Eleven year old Riley didn't want books today, so I got more for his little sister. She's reading "chapter books" now, as she calls them. And I bought Andrew a toy. That child never stops running.

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  14. Think about what it must be like to be married and find out that your husband is a cross dresser. And he cross dresses in your clothes. I can tell you there is definitely something wrong with this.

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    Replies
    1. I'm not going to judge him, because I know plenty will. This is something I don't know much about. But if it doesn't bother his wife, I guess it shouldn't bother anyone else. Don't know if he has a job or not. She's the weekend manager here.

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  15. So glad that you got to see your grandchildren and your daughter. Buying books are the best gifts you can get them. They will remember meeting you there a the books.
    Poor Israel. He doesn't need to feel embarrassed as many people are tricked all the time. The bad part is that the money is gone. Probably drug money. Some people have no regard for anyone else. Poor guy.
    Hugs to you Brenda.

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    Replies
    1. Someone very generous emailed me and offered to help him get started and I said thanks, but no. His pride was hanging by a thread already. So there are very GOOD people in this world too.

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  16. That woman should be in jail for this! It makes me so mad when I see folks getting ripped off like that. Thank goodness Israel never had a fender bender and needed to file a claim! About the cross dresser...not sure what to think of that other than it is a bit creepy. So glad you got to be with your grandchildren today! And you are helping them to start one of the best habits there is...reading!

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    1. Israel won't have a bank account, because he did have one. And then someone stole the number off the card and used it. And the person at the bank told he and his wife they would have to pay it back, at $200 per month. I figure it was someone scheming to get paid under the table, as the person who spent the money was in another state. I told him if there are fraudulent purchases, they can't make you pay it back. And that money in a bank in the US is protected up to $100,000. He said no more banks, so he goes and buys those Walmart cards where you pay so much and you get a card for that amount to pay his bills with.

      Delete
  17. Twenty some years ago when we just got out of college and bought our own auto policies, someone did that to us. We had been paying for over a year, before we found out that they were stealing our money and a lot of other people's money as well. Of course we lost all our money. They somehow pretend to be a broker to get you a better rate with legitimate insurance companies when you are young and uninsured. I can't believe they are still doing this scheme and getting away with it!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Well, they surely are! Probably have finessed it quite a bit too. I saw his "policy." Pretty generic. But he didn't know what it was supposed to look like.

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  18. I feel so bad for Israel. I have such difficulty with people that take advantage of others and I honestly don't know how they sleep at night but...they surely don't have a conscience, are sociopaths, etc. There are so many online scams, phone calls, etc. and it's sad that so many seniors are trusting and believe these stories.

    Your photos are beautiful, as usual!
    xo
    Pat

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  19. Interesting topics. I'm glad you got to see 'the grands' and were able to buy them a book. They'll always remember these trips and associate the books with YOU as they read them. I think it's wonderful that you buy them books. As a teacher, I know that reading (or even just 'picture reading") at their early age will help them develop into strong readers. As we here all know, being able to read and write opens many doors for us.

    Cross-dressing? I've been able to do a lot of travel in the world and discoveted the North American way of life isn't the only way to live.

    I live in a very large metropolitan area in Canada (Toronto to be exact) and a cross-dresser could walk down the street and not get a second look. We have people of so many different cultures living here now, that all sorts of traditional dress is common to be seen, along with couples of same-sex marriage (having been legal here for many years). A cross dresser wouldn't stick out at all.

    But down in the Bible belt of the US? Oh my! I imagine that is an uncommon sight. I feel free to say that because I'm married to an American fellow, born and raised in the Bible belt and his daddy was a Baptist preacher. I personally feel that if DNA mix-ups can happen that cause things like heart problems, hemophilia, and missing limbs, then surely DNA mix-ups can cause sexual orientation mix-ups in the brain.

    Many of our high schools here are now switching over to gender neutral washrooms for teens who are transitioning from one sex to another. Probably quite shocking to some but not to me. As long as people are fair and kind to one another, I'd be quite happy to be their neighbor. And his wife's purple hair? That's very trendy up here. Even neon rainbow colors all on one head. Ombre colors, too. I've had a chunk of magenta in my brown hair. The teaching assistant in my classroom has beautiful purple highlights through her long hair. She used to have pink ones, then changed to royal blue, and now the purple ones. Changing hair color is done for fun, just like many people change the colors and styles of clothes they wear. Life is short, try the things that make you happy and laugh!

    And speaking of kind and fair? Poor Israel. I feel very badly for him. This women who fleeced him would be what I consider to be a sociopath. She could care less the harm she does to others or the effects it will have on them. Everything is done to advance her life in whichever way is easiest for her. That's a sociopath. Trample others through criminal actions? That doesn't bother her at all. Even if she was caught and charged, she'd be doing it again the minute she got out of jail.

    Yes, there are lots of bad people out there. Thankfully, there many kind ones, too.

    Thank-you for your thoughtful posts and of course, your beautiful photos! With your love of colors, I'd be placing bets that you would be wanting at least to have a few colorful highlights in your hair or even your whole head of hair done! I'm a color lover too and if I can do it at 59, I bet you just might try it too! (I won't lay any bets on it though! *winks*)

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  20. That is an interesting question - is there a rogue gene that makes people do such bad things.

    I feel sad and mad for Israel and also I wonder why Oklahoma rates are higher than anywhere else.

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  21. So glad that you got to see the grands ; the car insurance scam is awful! I suppose the best way to look at it is to be thankful that he was never in an accident and that now you were able to help him.

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  22. Such a shame this happened, and thank goodness you followed through on checking this for Israel. Everyone concerned must have felt dreadful.

    I love spending time with the grandchildren, and time at that store sounds good.

    All the best Jan

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  23. That is a shame for Israel. I'm sure the lady saw him as from another country and easy to take advantage of.

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  24. Too bad that happened to Israel...thank goodness he never needed to make a claim! I'm glad you were able to help him!

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  25. Thank you for your kindness toward Israel. He has had so many bad experiences. I am glad you show him that not everyone is bad.

    Happy that you were able to visit with your grands and one of your daughters. They are going to have some special memories of you.

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  26. Yes there are people like this...they are called"sociopaths" and they do not care what they do to others...they have no feelings for others...

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I always enjoy reading your comments and having you join the conversation here at Cozy Little House. It is like having a gathering of friends sitting in my cozy apartment. Enjoying coffee and dessert, chatting and having a good time. I appreciate each and every one of you!

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