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Brenda has been writing since grade school. She attended journalism school where she majored in professional writing. She loves to decorate, garden, read and spend time with her Yorkies.

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Brenda Pruitt. Powered by Blogger.

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Like Heaven On Earth


I find that trying to look at my first year in this city is much like trying to look at the past through a piece of glass. I don't really remember all that much. 

It was right after the divorce, and I was trying to find my way to normalcy and eventually, peace. To learn to live alone and find a way to pay the bills.

I think I have learned more in the past four years than I did in the 50 years preceding it. 

I have learned to be grateful for what I have. That most of what is important isn't attached to a dollar sign. And that living alone can be better than being married.

I think as we age, we come to understand that nothing is finite. Life is unpredictable.  



I suppose what I'm most grateful for at this time of my life is the silence of my days. 

Not the heavy full-of-contention silence of my marriage that hung over my daily life like a pall. 

(Incidentally, did you know that a pall (also called mortcloth) is also the word for a cloth that covers a casket or coffin at funerals?)

Seems rather apropos. 



Now I enjoy watching the antics of the birds in the trees out on my little patio. It is not the magazine-worthy yard I once had. No, I traded that for peace of mind. And it was worth it. My little rented one bedroom apartment is all that I need. 

The dogs can run and play while I fill my containers with soil and plants to beautify my little space during the warmer months. 

I am happy. I am content with my life.



Come spring, the white tulips should be emerging from the big containers where I layered them underneath the summer flowers. 

The many herbs I've planted will fill the air with their individual scents. Mint, lemon balm, lemon verbena, sage, rosemary. 

By June I will be able to sit on my couch and stare out at the lovely blooms that I've cultivated. 

I will take many photos and share them with you. My little piece of heaven on earth.

Nature is my spirituality. It is my sustenance and it is the balm that soothed me when life was so unpredictable. 

I think back and know that nothing in this world is worth what I left. Nothing. Not the money or the newest and finest. Or the ability to walk into a store and come out with a three hundred dollar purse. 

I laugh at myself now. At the person who actually walked into a store and spent three hundred dollars for a mere purse. It was the first and only time I did that. 

But it was such a waste of money. Now I carry a big tote that was ten times cheaper. 

I suppose I was trying to tell myself that that was my trade-off for being so unhappy. The ability to buy things. Things. I look at it so differently now. Like night and day. 

That three hundred dollar purse mocked me. While I told myself for the hundredth time: I can't keep living like this. 

And now I'm not. Now I enjoy my little space and my patio with serenity and contentment. 

No amount of money in the world can buy you that.
Cozy Little House
57 Comments
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57 comments:

  1. Brenda you have created a great new life for yourself and I for one love your garden photos.

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  2. My favorite post ever, ever, ever you've done. The only thing that would have been a cherry on this delicious pie, would have been a photo of the pups LOL. Hugs to you and cheers to finding our your own truthful meaning of life. Peace and pups.

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  3. I agree!! This is my absolute favorite post!! Thank you for this post. Now, where's my daily Charlie and Abi fix!

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  4. Beautifully written. It makes me so happy knowing how content you are! Thanks for sharing your words of wisdom...

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    Replies
    1. I keep touching on this subject not to vent, but hopefully to reach another sister...

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  5. I absolutely love the way you take your thoughts and so eloquently get them out on paper - you are such a lovely writer and you inspire me each and every day. I agree with you - there's nothing better than peace, it's priceless. You don't need a big fancy house...you just need enough space for you and the pupsters and your patio garden. I found peace when I left my marriage in rentals with patio gardens as well, and I was quite happy...the peace was amazing, the lack of drama and fighting. There's nothing better.

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  6. I am like you now that I am so happy with living alone and not having so many things. It is amazing how happy little things can make you when you are happier yourself. Great post Brenda.

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    1. If I could hold a glass up to tap yours, I would say "Cheers to being happy with our pets in our own little spot."

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  7. You have definitely come out on the other side, Brenda and I am so happy for you. There is nothing more valuable in life than peace of mind. xo Laura

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    Replies
    1. The other side is sunlight and rainbows and birds chirping in the trees.

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  8. I am thrilled that you seem to have found contentment. Beautiful post! ;)

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    1. Contentment...I won't spout the meaning in the dictionary. I have read that many times, and it didn't constitute what I felt then. Now, I know that meaning with my mind and body and spirit.

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  9. With age comes wisdom...if we're lucky.

    I guess you're one of the lucky ones.

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  10. Peace and contement are so more valuable than anything money can buy.

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    Replies
    1. And the younger we learn that, the better...

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  11. Brenda, I am so glad you've found peace and happiness.

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  12. Money can never buy health or peace! When I was working with clients with unlimited budgets, they always thought one more accessory, one more piece of art, or furniture would bring happiness, it never did. Thanks for sharing your beautiful gift of writing! Blessings, Pam @Everyday Living

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    Replies
    1. And thank you, Pam, for reading and joining Tweak It.

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  13. Nothing is worth the sale of your soul. I think you always had normalcy within you. He was the unsettled one that needed you to be "sick".

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    1. Scary to think that. I wish I'd realized that many years ago. I wish I'd figured out that obsession and control is not love. He told me that no one would ever love me like he would. He was right that no one had ever professed love in words...he knew the words.

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  14. Wise words that I think some younger people could aspire to

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  15. That 'hung over like a pall" phrase struck me / brought back memories when my marriage was bad, though the boys' dad and I get along now / how funny that we became different people over time...

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    Replies
    1. We do become different. We mature. We learn. Wisdom comes over time.

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  16. Replies
    1. Oh, thanks Jane! I've known you for so long I can't imagine not knowing you. Even though it is online, it's very real to me.

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  17. You can read the happiness in your words. You have gone through some real storms. So glad you are away from all of that. I love that you have that garden space.

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    1. It would be hard to leave that garden space. When I was having money problems due to the Italian lady, I looked for something cheaper for months. I just couldn't bring myself to leave my little garden space. It is so conducive to my contentment. Only a gardener understands that. I got things turned around, fortunately, mostly due to my beloved readers who were so generous and caring. I hope that you have happiness in your new place.

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  18. Replies
    1. Thanks, Sandy. I think that women need to be reminded of these things from time to time.

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  19. Hi Brenda~

    Sounds like you have been on quite a journey . . . life definitely take us to places we never expected, can't they?! Beautiful post.

    Blessings,
    Barb

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    Replies
    1. I guess it is the journeys in life that bring us wisdom...

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  20. It's what I strive for Brenda..peace and contentment in my little house on my little piece of land...People with negative attitudes can just Go Away!!!...Life is way to short now to deal with anyone who wants to upset me..

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  21. Even your writing has matured since I've been reading you in those days, Brenda. There has been such growth. You have been through so much, so many many roadblocks along the way but you have triumphed over them and come out wiser. I bet there are many out there who you give hope to.

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    Replies
    1. Do you think so? Well I take that as quite a compliment coming from you!

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  22. Replies
    1. You are the novelist I look up to. So thanks!

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  23. So glad that you are content! That is a blessing!

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  24. I love the place you have arrived and the beautiful woman you are!
    xo
    Jemma

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, my dear friend. It's friends like you that helped me to get here.

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  25. I agree with Debby, your happiness and peace can be heared in your words. I am going to make a copy of this post to remind myself and share with others the joy of a simple life filled with the beauty of nature and unconditional love of animals. You are an example of a woman who left an abusive relationship and created a wonderful life. It did not happen over night but you have proven that it can be done. Thank you!

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    Replies
    1. I want to keep writing about this from time to time, in the hopes that one of these other women might happen to be reading on that day. And know that it is possible.

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  26. Lovely post. I'm happy for you, Brenda!

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    Replies
    1. And all of you helped me get here for sure!

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  27. Brenda, you are a fabulous person! I, too, along with everyone else here, love reading your posts. You tell us that it is difficult to express yourself in face-to-face conversation with people but when you pick up a pencil and start writing your words, you're nothing short of a genius. Your words are eloquent and your messages so very clear to everyone.

    You may not remember me saying this but I'm a teacher of extra special students on medical leave (since the last week of Nov.) until I can walk w/o the air cast and stand on my feet all day. I have two students in my class I love more than the others (I try not to show it) and both of them have an autistism diagnosis. The one little guy has a very tender heart like yours and he astounds me every day with his astute observations about people and life in general. Just like I look forward to your every post, I simply cannot wait to get back to him for more conversation with him!

    I love your humour- adding a picture of the pups for one reader made me laugh out loud! Okay, I've got a question for you- What does the quote in the picture ("Red is neutral") mean? I'm thick-headed today. *red-face*

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  28. I'm so very glad that you are happy and content. Those are things that money can't buy!!

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  29. So eloquently put. Our contentment is one of most valuable assets. So glad you found your happy place. Peace.

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I always enjoy reading your comments and having you join the conversation here at Cozy Little House. It is like having a gathering of friends sitting in my cozy apartment. Enjoying coffee and dessert, chatting and having a good time. I appreciate each and every one of you!

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