Why The Hate?


I grew up in a small town of about 3000 residents. I don't even think that I saw anyone of color until I was riding the bus to school one year. 


I recall being afraid, because adults had made me afraid. 

I recall watching those black children while trying not to watch them. Mere children, just like me. They kept their eyes straight ahead.

During recess, I don't remember seeing them. It was like they evaporated. 

I knew a little something about being different. I could empathize. You made yourself as small as possible and hoped you were invisible.


No one could identify why I was different just by looking at me. I couldn't imagine what it was like to be judged by skin color without your ever having said a word. 

That was a long time ago. But racism is still with us. 

You'd have thought that with time, people would grow more tolerant and accepting. But there is hate hiding in every nook and cranny of this world. In every little pocket of ignorance that remains.

I don't have the answers for all the societal problems today. But I do know that being kind to others never goes out of style.

Studies have proven that if you help others, it gives you a boost as well. Not only that, it reduces your stress levels. I guess that old adage "what goes around comes around" is true.


Here is a constantly-updated list of atrocities associated with bigotry just since the beginning of 2017. 

I don't care what political, religious or other affiliation you happen to be. Human beings are human beings. Do unto others and all that. 

It makes no difference to me what your sexual orientation is, or what flag you wave.

In my book there is never a valid reason for violence. And certainly not when you're talking about the violence of complete strangers. 

Why is there so much hate?  

It shouldn't matter where you happened to be born. Or what color your skin is. Or where you worship. Or how you vote. 

I don't think you should have to be rich to receive health care. 

I don't think you should assume you are ever better than anyone else. No matter who you happen to be.

We need to show children what truth is. And universal kindness. So that they don't inherit the hatred that simmers, unchecked, around them.


What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other? George Eliot
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgeelio163837.html
George Eliot wrote: "What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?"
What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other? George Eliot
Read more at: https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/g/georgeelio163837.html

Indeed.

So where do I stand? I'll be happy to tell you.

No matter your race, ethnicity, faith, age or any other factors that make you who you are, you are a human being. And thus you deserve dignity and respect. 

Empathy. Understanding.

I firmly stand on the side of compassion. 

Oh, and those black kids on the school bus? I think they were every bit as scared of me as I was of them. But then I never found out. Because we never spoke to one another.

I believe in compassion for all.   


33 comments

  1. I believe in compassion for all too Brenda. Life is too short, too sweet, too fragile. I have always believed in One for all and all for one!
    Jemma

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  2. Fear and ignorance of others outside of one's own circle lead to hate. I see the same cycle again that lead to WWII and all of its atrocities. I fear that it will happen again, and I will still be alive to see it. How often does somebody wish to maybe die earlier than she otherwise might, because she doesn't want to see a group of people, or groups of people, targeted and marked for extinction because they are different that YOU. Why is it easier to fear and hate and want to destroy rather than practice what we alleged Christians preach - do unto others as you would have them do unto you? I don't get it. I never have, I never will.

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  3. Hi, Brenda! Great post. Sadly, unfortunately, disgustingly.... when this is happening with our so-called "leaders", it does trickle down. Hate and fear changes the dynamics of any relationship. We can't shrug our shoulders and just move along. Most of us know the difference between right and wrong. We need to reach out and be the voice of reason. We can't make judgement based upon what someone looks like ~ nor based upon their religion or the person they love. The madness needs to stop, and each of us needs to commit to putting an end to it.

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    1. You are not the voice of reason. I've read your comments on another blog who is no friend here. You and the others who comment on her blog are instigating hate. Save you hateful comments for her blog. Brenda has alot of loyal followers who are good responsible people.

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  4. I believe we are all Americans first and we must respect each other. I see so many families today talking to each other using cuss words, disrespecting each other's parental roles, accusing each other of this and that, respect must be taught in the home for it to be evident in the outside world. We are all one color in the eyes of the Lord.

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  5. It's everywhere, even in the church - this group thinks they're better than that group. In school: I'm smarter, richer, more popular than you. In the neighborhood - I look the other way because you don't look like my type. In government: I'm republican, I'm democrat, I'm better. I agree it starts with fear - fear of being left out, fear of being brought down, fear of the unknown. Ignorance.

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  6. The hate makes me so sad. Thank you for this post, well said!

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  7. amen! And the world is far from perfect, but each of us has the power to make it just that little bit better.

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  8. A very timely article. No one is born with hatred in their heart. We all enter this world filled with innocence and wonder and a curiosity to explore. The exploration should never stop; however, once the adult hate mongrels get a hold of an innocent child they teach them to be fearful. They teach them to stop the exploration of other races, other traditions and other ways to love. Instead of fostering growth, hatred will stifle it. Again, a timely post.

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  9. "We need to show children what truth is. And universal kindness. So that they don't inherit the hatred that simmers, unchecked, around them." another important beautiful post.

    it was a swelteringly hot day. I was very small. my mother and I had gone 'downtown' shopping. the way you used to in 1950. we were 'dressed up!' also the way you used to when shopping downtown.
    my mother was from new york. but now we were in a southern state.
    we walked to the back of the bus because I wanted to sit on the bench seat across the back. and playing there was a little girl just my size and she was in a lavender dress. I remember it!
    soon the driver came to an abrupt stop. he hadn't gone far.
    he walked back and told us to come to the front. that we couldn't sit back there with "those people." my mother refused to come forward. "this is a perfectly fine seat. thank you."
    we were told by the driver to "CHANGE YOUR SEAT OR GET OFF MY BUS."
    my mother took my hand... said goodbye to the mother of my new little friend in the beautiful dress...
    and we got off the bus and walked 20 blocks home.
    that day my mother taught me with almost no words how to love all people.

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  10. I totally agree with you. Those who are racist - all ignorance and fear.

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  11. and the media is always there to fan the flames.....

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  12. Brenda: well said. I grew up with a person of color as part of my white family, so I didn't know about all this nonsense until I went to school. I do recall my brother saying to Rose that she was "one big all over freckle," but he was commenting as five-year-olds do, just in an observational tone without malice.

    Now we are even more divided than we were in the sixties. Folks who are supposed to be from the tolerant side of the house are tolerant only to people who believe as they do. Folks on the other side think that they can only watch one television network to be fair and balanced.

    Democratic Speaker of the House Tip O'Neill got on famously with Presidents Ford and Reagan. They disagreed politically but were able to keep the government running and socialize together after hours. What happened to us?

    If you believe in secure borders, you're a racist. Never mind that lack of border security is one of the reasons for the fall of the Roman empire.

    Conservatives are shouted down and treated disrespectfully on college campuses. What happened to free speech? Is it free only if we agree with you?

    I'm blessed to serve in a multi-ethnic agency in which we all get along and let others speak their minds (respectfully, of course) even if all of us don't agree. The thin blue line of law enforcement and the constant criticism we face has a way of teaching all of us to get along.



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  13. Tammy you had a great mother.
    I believe separation lead to prejudice. I believe today is still better than years ago. I feel we are stepping backwards with all races right now.
    I try to smile and say hello to everyone. As the saying goes, "We all smile in the same language".
    I'm not blind to all the current issues. I'm also not afraid to stand up for everyone's rights.

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  14. I have been reading Plantagenet history, and it is filled with prejudice against women, races, and religious groups. By the time I reached Edward II, I had to take a break and read about Beatrix Potter. I believe that one voice can rise above the fray and make a difference. This post is one such voice.

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  15. Understanding, courage, solidarity, compassion...have they become extinct in this thing called evolution?

    Poppy

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  16. Very well written essay, Carole. I can't disagree with anything you have said. I love Tim McGraw's song that played so heavily on the airwaves in the midst of all this turmoil. Always be humble and kind, which pretty much covers it. Thanks so much for posting this, Sandi

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  17. Brenda, I totally agree with everything you've written here. Thank you for putting it into words. I pray for peace, compassion, kindness and understanding for our country and the rest of the world everyday.... I do believe the media does a lot of damage too. I no longer watch the news on TV. They sensationalize hate crimes, and only make race relations, etc. worse in my opinion. They rarely report the good in this world either. And there is a lot of good out there! I'm disabled and everytime I leave my home I find there are always kind people, of all different races and ages, that try to help me out. They hold doors open for me, carry things for me, and are patient with my slowness. Most of humanity are good people, in my humble opinion.

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  18. It is very true and sad we live in a world that people can not and will not be accepting of our differences. We are all "different" in some way or another. God made each one of us unique and beautiful. I personally appreciate diversity. I hope that through my actions and the things I say shows how much I value and care about others.

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  19. No kidding, I JUST said to my husband, "Where has all this hate come from? What are we becoming?" At least now I know there are 26 of us who are committed to peace and acceptance. And yes, love. Brenda, I've been skulking around your site for about a month now; so many of your posts are thought-provoking ~ and all are kind (even the handyman and quite frankly, I might have been driven to shaking him till his teeth rattled). Please keep reminding us that we are truly not alone. A little compassion goes a long way.

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  20. I grew up on a farm and there were 2 African-American families who lived nearby and my father often paid the men to come and help with farm work. My mother fixed the noon day meal and back then the men of color would eat first...separate from us. I always hated that and felt bad for them. My mother told me that was the way it was. In my small town school, everyone pretty much got along regardless of color. And it was a huge relief to me when they did away with that ridiculous separation of colors at lunch. We've come a long way since then, but still have problems to solve regarding race relations.

    I do think a lot of what is happening now in regard to hatred is being egged on by those that want to see strife and unrest in our country...for what reason, I'm not sure. The bible makes it clear that in the last days it would pretty much be this way...that brother would turn against brother, etc. That said, I personally think that if children were taught good manners and values at home and at school, it would make a difference. The lack of discipline in the home and public school systems has contributed to many behavioral problems in our young people today.

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  21. I always felt so different from my family too Brenda..Even back in the 50's when I was growing up...they tried to teach me to be prejudiced but it just did not work..See I've always had this brain that thinks logically..in my brain there is no logic to prejudice...The whole concept is totally ridiculous..People need to think for themselves and ignore the stupidity of others mean, nasty ways of thinking...Treat everyone the way you would like to be treated..why on Earth would you not?

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  22. Well said Annie Bremer. I come to the blogs to escape from the politics of the TV. I have been reading Brenda's blog since she was married and living in Tyler. I have always enjoyed it for her down to earth decorating and interesting daily life. So many of the blogs have gone political,so no different from turning on the TV. Politics seems to pit one against the other. I preferred it when we women came to blogs for inspiration and camaraderie. We had conversations with each other via the comments and supported each other. On so many blogs lately, I have seen some of the worst bickering and name calling. So disheartening. I love your blog Brenda and it is saved to my favorites and is the first one I go to in the morning with my cup of coffee in hand. Just looking for little glimmer of tranquility and beauty in a very troubled world. Don't get me wrong, I try to stay informed, but sometimes we just need a break and refresh.

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  23. I was so happy to read this post. I was afraid that everyone had lost their minds and set us back 50 years or more. Thank you.
    Janice

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  24. I agree with Janice. great post Brenda.

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I always enjoy reading your comments and having you join the conversation here at Cozy Little House. It is like having a gathering of friends sitting in my cozy apartment. Enjoying coffee and dessert, chatting and having a good time. I appreciate each and every one of you!

Author Bio

Brenda has been writing since grade school. She majored in professional writing/journalism in college, where she won awards for her feature writing. She loves to decorate, garden, enjoy nature, read and spend time with her Yorkies.
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