The Faceless Anonymity Of The Online World

It is quiet. Strange, living in the middle of the city, and having it be so quiet. The birds outside are chirping at one another, so there is that. 
I am working from my bedroom today. I'm just so tired from the shingles. I will finish the antibiotics tomorrow. I've already finished the antivirals. I've really never experienced exhaustion like this. I was always gifted with lots of energy.

So I'm hoping that back here, with the drapes drawn and the blinds closed, that I can rest a bit more than I do in the living room, where I am constantly seeing one thing after another that needs to be done. 

And yet, I don't have the energy to do it. To mop the floor or do more than take care of the pupsters and wash the clothes or fix food.

I just had a comment from a woman who was upset with me for not acknowledging her long comment. 

It was indeed a nice comment. Her first. But in her second, and she claimed her last, she was very unhappy.

It is a bit of a conundrum, whether to post as often or reply to comments more. Like the old saying: six of one and half a dozen of the other.

I try to get in there and answer comments, and do well for a short while, then time just gets away from me. So if anyone else is angry that I don't respond to all the comments, I apologize for what she described as rudeness. 

I could not answer this woman directly because her email was not shown. So be aware that if I can't see your email address, then I cannot possibly respond to you personally.

But if you email me, I will respond to you. It might not be immediately, but I will email you back if I have an email to write to.

When you are online so much, you get your fair share of enmity. You put yourself out there day after day, and people will eventually target you. 

I have one woman who truly believes I destroyed her computer. 

Well, that just doesn't make sense. And to insure myself against people like that, I pay to have my computer looked at and scanned regularly by Cox Tech Support.

I felt silly, but I even asked the techs. And they said no, this could not happen. 

She wrote horrible things about me in emails. Then they stopped. 

A year later, just recently, she railed against me again. And after several in a row, I blocked her email address. I imagine she will just get another one.

She kept telling me that her computer cost $2500, and she lost her photos and everything. That she must travel by bus to the library to use a computer.
Is she hinting that she wants me to buy her a computer? What does she want from me?  

She tells me how much she hates me for my having a computer while she doesn't.

I feel bad for her, because she sounds terribly unhappy. 

How do you deal with such a thing? Trying to utilize common sense with her, I mentioned that, if it was even possible, then why was she singled out? 

And I get no response to that. Just more vitriol.
I try to take it in stride. It bothers me for a few days and I dwell on it. 

Then I give up, file it away in my brain's recycle bin that will eventually empty itself, and move on. 

 I now monitor comments before they are published due to people like this. I didn't monitor comments for 7 years, then finally this past year I began to do that.

At times someone has taken issue with something I have written. 

Once at the end of a post, I wrote: "Such is life." And one woman got terribly angry with me over writing that. To this day I haven't figured that one out. 

I get emails or comments that widely vary. Some are all the way at one end of the spectrum, and some are at the other end.

Many bloggers have dropped their blogs and now just post on Instagram. 

I never entered the world of Instagram because I didn't want to be distracted from this blog. A person can only do so much after all.

I would think you would get tired of my random thoughts about this and that. I think my life is rather boring.

I enjoy this friendship I have with you all immensely. I love this community of blogging and the people I've met through this blog. 

Most of you are wonderful and caring people that I feel blessed to have in my life.

Fortunately, few people resort to faceless attack campaigns.

And I'm glad because I very much love what I do. 

Some of you email me fairly regularly. And we email back and forth. So I always welcome that. I want to know what content you like best and if there are issues you want me to highlight.

Most of all, I truly thank you for letting me be a small part of your day.



  1. I'm so sorry the "crazies" have attacked you. There will always be Haters, unfortunately. While it's easy to say and hard to do, ignore them if you can. I'm sorry you are feeling so poorly; I hope it gets better very soon. I always enjoy your blog and look forward to it every day. Keep that variety and random-ness coming.

  2. Brenda, I'm so sorry you don't feel good and I'm sorry that your reader added to that. It's always nice when we can respond to comments but you don't actually owe her anything on a personal level. Hope she'll realize that.

  3. I enjoy your blog very much, I feel like I've just enjoyed a cup of tea and a nice chat with a friend when I visit here. Unfortunately there will always be the "crazies" in life. That is one reason I don't really miss being a pastor's wife, people think some of us are put here to put up with their foolishness. I love people, but you can only put up with so much.
    Hugs, Cindy

  4. It really amazes me what people get bent out of shape over. Why would anyone feel the need to criticize you over such trivial things? Just keep being you, Brenda. I love your "mundane life" posts. I just enjoy seeing how you're doing and all. And your pictures are always so nicely done. You really have a gift in that area. So sorry that you're struggling with fatigue. Your body has been through so much, it's not surprising. Add the Oklahoma heat and the dogs getting you up at all hours and goodness, I'd be tired too! Take care, dear lady. Rest all you can till this illness phase passes.

  5. I imagine one would have to have a very thick skin to even have a blog. I just watched one of my favorite blogger/youtuber Phyllis Stokes talk about the same thing - hateful comments on her site and how hurtful they can be. Makes me sad that you and Phyllis, who only want to share their lives with us can be such targets for this vitriol. Such is life. :)

  6. There is just no pleasing some people, but to blame you for her computer breaking is just insane. It is really important that you rest while you recover from shingles. Glad you are staying in your bedroom today. Your body will thank you. xo Laura

  7. Some people have mental issues, some people are just terribly unhappy and want to share. I suppose its the old if I can't have it, you shouldn't either. There's no way to deal with these people so delete, block and move on. Say a prayer for them if you want but really there's nothing you can do to help them.
    Personally I love reading about your so-called boring life. And I enjoy your photos immensely. I don't do very much social media and as much as I enjoy YouTube and the friends I have made there, I still enjoy blogs. Too many of the ones I really liked have quit so I only have a small list now and you are one of about 6 that post regularly. Thank you for sharing with us.

  8. I rarely leave a comment - I come to look at your photos and you seem to be a nice person from what I read on your blog. I look at a variety of blogs - a person can get ideas of decorating or in my case quilting as I am a quilting blog - but I like to read decorating and "life" blogs - I would block the nasty's out of your blog - you have the right idea to approve commenters some people are just plain weird. I had one person begin to leave comments on my blog telling me my spelling was incorrect and punctuation not always right - really - it is my blog and you are correcting me - after several emails to me about this I told her to stop reading my blog if she didn't like it and I blocked her - I didn't need her in my world. Hope you get to feeling better soon!

    1. Karen, Whoever cares about punctuations & such in your volunteer effort of spreading your talents. They really have some sort of issues & too much time on their hands to take time to noice. We can only hope they find peace in their heart soon and put their time to better use for thier own well being.

  9. Such unhappy folks; they probably should be on Twitter where the venom really resides. Good for you for blocking the haters! Haters gonna hate & this beautiful space is nowhere for such negativity. You are so generous with your beautiful surroundings & the time that it takes to put together & publish is your gift to the world which I am so grateful. Seriously so silly to complain to you when they need to go find some spiritual healing. Will hope they find some peace in their life soon!

  10. It is a sad fact of life that some people chose to be offended with the strangest things. We all have a choice and if something bothers us of little importance, we can just keep going. "Such is Life :)"
    I have followed your blog for several years. I do not always agree with you and you would not agree with me. God made everyone different in His infinite wisdom, just makes life more enjoyable.
    I thought about why I read you almost daily and have decided that you are real, warts and all. How lovely and refreshing. Stay Brenda and let the nay sayers, stay nay sayers.
    Love your blog.

  11. Brenda, I hope this shingles outbreak heals soon. I know how miserable it is and I am so glad that you are doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. As for some of the goofy responses you get, just consder thatt you can't please everyone. Sometimes people are just plain mean. Take care

  12. Stay strong, Brenda ~ there is nothing you can say that will change that kind of person's mind. Just keep on with your wonderful writing, and your great pix ~
    I'll still be here!

  13. Hi Brenda! I'm so sorry to hear of these kinds of folks who just have to be mean. They really don't have to but they do. I remember about that gal saying you ruined her computer. That's crazy! I have to admit I don't comment like I used to, I have debated about closing my blog and didn't post for a few months but decided I just couldn't leave and would post when I felt like it. I have my travel blog and I got it caught up to date because it really is a visual journal for me. I like everything you post - your decorating, little fuzzy faces and when you bring out your thought provoking messages. Just keep on being you! I've deleted a few posts when those booger people are nasty to me. I wish now I hadn't. I may not say 'hi' as much as I used to but I'm still here and I'll always consider you my 'blogging friend'! :)
    You are the sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

  14. Stay cool. I hope the issue resolves itself. xoxo Su

  15. I can feel that you are down and not feeling well. I hope the energy comes back soon. I have been lucky to have avoided most of the negative comments that some have including you. Those of us that put our lives out there risk this but I always say the friendships I've made outweigh the negatives. I just remind myself how unhappy someone must be to lash out like that. Your blog is you and I love feeling like I share a part of your life with you. Rest and don't let the naysayers get to you!

  16. I have followed you forever, don't comment..too lazy. I wish I could just use a heart to let you know I read every entry. I like when people go back and forth on issues but don't think it is necessary for a blogger to say thank you every time. I really don't like the response from the blogger each time but I guess they have been slammed as you were. Blogging has changed but I like it so much more than instagram, just pretty pics! No personal stories or information. I am not brave enough for a blog but I write personal notes to family, they are nice to me😉 Our devices have changed the world, too much judgement and too critical. Your readers for the most part are kind. Good healing.

  17. I still have my iphone 3 ( they are on to 7 now ) so I won't be Instagramming soon ha ha ! :)

    I don't get in to politics much on my blog but awhile back I said something fairly general about Trump and had a ladie go 'off the rails' and insist that I unsubcribe her

    For all of these years, I never heard from her. She's come on to this blog and viewed my posts and hard work in regards to editing photos and what-have-you ....and then she wanted to go off in a huff, lol!

    I told her the truth ( I Have No Clue How To Do That Via Feedburner, Which Has No Support )

    And then I decided to stop using my blog to Entertain People Like Her )

    Blogging Less Going Forward :)

  18. Brenda, if you were my neighbor, I'd be over in flash to help you. Hope you recover quickly. Try to rest; those things you see that need doing will still be there. Try to ignore the nut jobs out there.

  19. I love your blog. You post some very good and interesting thinsgs. I like you posts when you just tell about your daily life. There are really some strange people in this world. And I believe we all encounter them every now and then. Keep up your good work. There are more who enjoy your blog than those who want to trash it.

  20. Brenda you should not even waste a moment thinking about that woman who accused you of ruining her computer. How is that even possible? It is so beyond the relm of reality that it borders on fantasy. Don't waste your precious time thinking about it. Just know we all love what you do here and are happy to have you sharing with us. This is no place for negativity!

  21. I'm sorry that you've had people leave you mean and rude comments. They obviously have a lot of anger within themselves if they lash out like that. I love Instagram...I post there often because it's quick and easy. I also love seeing other people's photos, and best of all, no drama! ;-)

  22. Hi Brenda. I come to your site every day not for your comments back to me, but for your content. I never know what I will find each day -- will it be a post on what is happening on the patio? Something about your health? Will Andrew be smiling at us? Will we see a new furniture arrangement in the living room? Will we hear about a trip to Trader Joe's, or see what you fixed in the crock pot? Will we finally learn that the apartment complex owners are going to do something to fix up the place? Will we hear about one of your interesting dreams? I leave a comment just about every time I visit, and I never worry about whether you will comment. I am A-OK with not getting a comment from you! I know that some bloggers do respond back in the comment section, and frankly, it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. I don't know what to do next! They usually say something like, "Thanks for commenting!" So then I wonder if I am supposed to leave a comment saying, "You're welcome!" So, it is just fine with me for you to not worry about leaving comments.

    As for the person who is hounding you to replace her computer -- she either is nutty, or she is a scammer. She could be sending other bloggers similar comments, hoping someone will be gullible enough to send her some money. She is to be ignored.

    Finally, about the shingles -- resting in a darkened room really is what you need to be doing. Taking care of yourself and the dogs is your priority, and dust bunnies under the furniture or crumbs on the floor really can wait. I am not an expert on shingles, but I did witness what happened to my late mother-in-law when she was diagnosed with shingles -- she didn't tell anyone at first, because she didn't want to be curtailed from doing things, and she developed a really severe case on one side of her head. Maybe she would have had the same problems even if she had been inactive, who knows? But, being active certainly didn't seem to help any. She ended up having to stay in a darkened room for a month or six weeks because the shingles were very close to one eye. The light really made that eye ache, and eye damage definitely can occur from shingles. Her eye ended up being OK, but meanwhile, she scratched the shingles on one of her ear lobes to the point that plastic surgery had to be done on it to repair it! Shingles really are a scary thing to deal with. So be good to yourself and let the dust bunnies play for awhile.

  23. Brenda,
    I too, am so sorry for all the negative comments from those who are out to hurt you. As you said, they are indeed very unhappy people. I can't say don't let it bother you because I know it does. It would bother me as well, but there are SO many others who love your blog and look forward to it every day (me being one of them) So if you can, please try and focus on those positive comments and all of us who are very supportive of you. Read OUR comments over and over each day if necessary, and although we are only hidden friends, for the most part, you bring us all great happiness. It's hard to fight when you are not feeling well, and I pray that all this will be a thing of the past very soon. Housework can wait, cooking can too, just take care of yourself. Rest and re-charge as you are able. We love you and thank you for bringing US all such happiness.
    Blessings and Thanks,

  24. Let it all go. I think we as women do dwell on negative comments because we are people pleasers and do not want to hurt others. Just let those people who obviously are hurting in some way, go. Never you mind about them. You are a kind and good person and we love your blog! Feel better soon.

  25. I just don't understand all the vitriol bloggers have to deal with. Didn't their parents teach them, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."? It's not like all of us who like home decor and are writing/reading blogs are talking about earth-shattering events. It's just decor and daily life. I've also never seen a suspicious link on your blog, so I'm sure you have never corrupted anyone's computer. Sorry you have to deal with all the crazies. I agree with blocking messages from the negative ones. (This is one reason I could never become a blogger. I couldn't handle the negativity.) I'm also sorry you are dealing with the shingles pain. I live with chronic migraines, and living with pain is certainly no fun. I hope you are well soon and your energy returns in full.

  26. how on earth could anybody be mean to YOU? !!!
    it hurts me just to think about that!
    our lives are not unalike. i'm a widow who lives alone too. and loves the simple life. and it's a good thing I do because there's not much money for anything else!
    but to attack you when you're down. such a mean person. if she's read anything here she knows about the terrible shingles you're enduring. you don't need to be kicked anymore than the shingles are doing it!
    as they say...
    don't give her that power over you! and still it hurts. even or especially by people who don't even know you!
    have you ever had your heart checked? a simple ekg?
    I am in Afib right now and extreme fatigue and weakness is a symptom. sometimes I can feel the flutter. other times not. just in case... you might have it checked.
    one trigger is EXTREME heat. which we are having right now. I live in Oklahoma too!
    thinking of you. always. XO♥

  27. Hi Brenda, I'm fairly new to your blog but have so enjoyed it. I like that you write about everyday goings on in your life and your pictures are excellent. Take care of yourself first with those shingles for I do believe it takes a lot of rest. Keep blogging and being your natural self!!!

  28. Hi Brenda, I'm fairly new to your blog and have never commented and don't expect a reply. :) I'm really enjoying your writings each time and your pictures are excellent. Keep being your natural self and ignore the negative comments. Yes and get lots of rest with the shingles as they are a booger and can drain you. Blessings to you!

  29. Thank you, because of your blog I got the shingles vaccine. Thank you from my heart. Kris

  30. Brenda,
    I am fairly new to your blog, & found out about it through a FB garden group. I've been enjoying it a lot!
    I read the recent comment you refer to, & just couldn't believe it! I don't recall all the details, but was amazed she felt entitled to not only a reply from you, but within 24 hours! I remember she said you were rude & she would stop following you.
    Really! I know it's hard to forget, but just blow her off, & be glad she is leaving! Definitely not a worth the angst she is causing!

  31. (Sorry if there are typos in my comment. Cell phone freezing & not letting me edit)

    If I make a comment on a blog, I figure I am lucky to get a reply, but never expect it. I figure there is way more to blogging than is apparent, & that bloggers may or may not get back to replying.
    So just move on, & know that she is just one reader out of many.
    I also know having shingles is a totally awful experience, & you are doing the best you can right now. I hope you feel better quickly!

  32. Brenda, why does one nasty person override all the good people in our lives? I don't know how that happens. Just know that there are a lot more people love you than don't and think of us when the nasty creeps in.

  33. Brenda, I think you should be insulted because that cardinal always turns his back on you. (That makes about as much sense as people getting mad at you online. Sad lives. )

  34. I'm sorry you have had to deal with negativity like that. I don't get a lot, but recently had someone leave a comment that was not rude to me, but I felt was very negative and hurtful to my subject. As she had no connected email, I had no way to respond to her except by posting the comment and responding on the blog...which I wasn't going to do. Then she wrote me back saying if I didn't allow dissension she was dropping me. Honestly I don't need mean, thoughtless opinions on my blog...oh well. There are sure more important things going on in our lives.

  35. Brenda, my friend... we've been at this a VERY long time and we've all had our share of crazies. It was worse on my last blog, but then again it was a lot bigger than my blog now at the time. I don't know if you remember the woman that harassed me for being attracted to (my now ex-) husband. Good Lord... she wouldn't quit! Anyway, some people are just angry and there's nothing you can do about it. I dwell on it too when it happens, but I just pour myself a cocktail and walk around outside ;)

    I think your blog is wonderful and I treasure you as a friend whether I hear from you all the time or once in a great while. True friendship is like that :)

    love to you,

  36. Oh and John's son said the other day " I don't listen to mean " I think that's a great way of responding, even if it does come from a 12 year old ;)


I always enjoy reading your comments and having you join the conversation here at Cozy Little House. It is like having a gathering of friends sitting in my cozy apartment. Enjoying coffee and dessert, chatting and having a good time.

Please be kind with your comments. We all need kindness in this world. That's not to say you can't state your opinion! Everyone should be able to state their own opinion in a kind and thoughtful manner.

I appreciate each and every one of you!